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I was your wife in this situation. I relied a lot on DW to talk me down when I was upset and anxious. After our son was born, I had a lot of stress and anxiety but I didn't follow through. This year DS spent 8 days in hospital and I had crazy anxiety afterwards...I swear like PTSD type symptoms. She had dropped hints about a free service through work to see a therapist but I brushed it off. I came to the realization that I couldn't put my stress on her, that I needed to find strategies to help myself so I called.

I thought a lot of it would be hokey and not apply to me, but I feel so much more confident that I have tools to manage something I've dealt with my whole life. It's empowering.

I think you seeing someone and mentioning the benefits, speaking with her about how you both are struggling, etc. She may need to realize that you need help too and can't be the only source of support. Keep talking about it. Tell her you need her to consider it for the good of your relationship. I had to come to the decision on my own, but I think my wife encouraging it and having a number to call made it easier.

ETA: if she is still reluctant, encourage strategies like journaling, meditation, etc. She can do those on her own at least.

@Mrs. Turtle: sending lots of love and hugs I have no advice on getting a spouse to go, but I did see someone to help me process some difficult stuff. My DH also struggled but in a different way and didn't feel the need to see a therapist. I actually ended up meeting with someone from our church who is a retired social worker and volunteers in a program there. All this to say I hope you find something that works for you and potentially your wife as well. There might be various options in the community if you ask around.

I would also look into groups she can go to and talk. Our HMO does a lot of group sessions and people encourage each other as well as learn coping mechanisms from the group leader. Also our church has a foster parent ministry where we actually serve foster families in the county because of the stress they are under - I might look to see if such a resource exists near you. Hugs lady!

@Mrs. Turtle: I think seeing the therapist has allowed me to calm myself down before having a big explosion when we are talking about things that stress us out, so it allows me to put more effort into action and meaningful conversation rather that getting into a big worry spiral. Plus I feel like now if she's having trouble being stressed, I can maybe help her instead of her having no one. One day I just thought, man that must suck for her because I always dump on her. I think she even said a couple times 'I'm not sure how to help' and then it somehow clicked. She will always be my support but I need to also be my own support too. This has been 2+ years of me coming around to it and I wish I did it like 10 years ago! I really hope your wife can open up to the idea for everyone's sake or at least research some coping methods on her own.

@Mrs. Turtle: I didn't read every comment so far, but wondering if she'd be more receptive if you set up a joint session with a couples therapist. People often have a jerk negative reaction to that suggestion ("but the relationship is fine!") but if her coping mechanism is an emotional burden you can't carry, it is affecting the relationship. But, you could think of it and present it more as therapy to deal with a problem affecting everyone than marriage counseling. And you could say to her, "I need your help with this." It's hard even for an anti-therapy partner to reject that request. Hang in there, I hope everything turns out okay

@MrsTurtle I've been seeing a therapist for about 2 years and it has been so so helpful to me. Like several other people said, I don't think it's ever really possible to talk someone into therapy if they aren't already interested, but I do think the things I've learned have improved my relationships, and maybe seeing that positive change would be enough to get your wife's foot in the door.