Hi all, I’m new here but am so glad to have found what I think is a great group of people. I’ve read through some posts and everyone is so nice and supportive.
My husband and I recently decided to start trying for our 2nd baby, however it’s bringing me a lot of stress and unwelcomed anxiety.
History: I had a very difficult first pregnancy which luckily ended with the healthy birth of my son who is now 3. We tried for several months to get pregnant the first time, and then at 12 weeks I had gushes of blood that woke me out of my sleep. We thought we were miscarrying but the ER Dr. said baby was fine and that I had a sub chorionic hemorrhage we would have to watch. My Ob put me on BI weekly ultrasounds to monitor. As the bleeding continued well into my second trimester my OB decided to test me and found out I have MTHFR gene mutation and Protein S deficiency which led to a lot of meds and shots the rest of my pregnancy. He told me to prepare for a mid-pregnancy loss. Because of the daily bleeding and wondering if every day was the last day I was going to be pregnant, I never bought one baby thing or even opened up the door to what was supposed to be the nursery. I became very distant and depressed that I was going to lose my baby. It wasn’t until 30 weeks my family decided to throw me a baby shower and my mom came to my house and painted the baby room that I finally started getting excited. And when he was born at 37 weeks, Happy and Healthy we all cried (even my doctor who said he doesn’t know how he survived).
I swore right then I would never do this again. I love my little boy something fierce and we would be just fine the 3 of us. But my husband is an only child and doesn’t want my son to be lonely. It’s taken a couple years but within the last few months I’m longing for another baby to the point where it’s almost all I can think about. But I’m so terrified at the same time. What if it all happens again? I try to talk to my family about it but they don’t understand. I have an appointment February 2nd with My OB to find out what plans and preparations need to be done so we can start trying again. I just don’t know how to help this anxiety. How do I get the feeling of terror to go away?