My son is 13 months and refuses to eat pretty much any table food other than breads/grains. He'll eat like a champ on muffins, pancakes, toast, sandwich bread, crackers, goldfish, cheerios, grilled cheese, french fries, tortilla chips, and nutrigrain bars. I am curious to know at what age it may be appropriate to say "if you don't want what I served, then you don't get to eat." I know every child will be different in when that time frame would be appropriate but I can't feed him stage 3 purees or carbs exclusively! I've managed to sneak in the occasional banana by mashing it with an egg with a touch of cinnamon/sugar and making a "pancake" but this isn't balanced nutrition by a long shot. And he doesn't want to be spoon fed the purees so I'm at a loss. Do you think it will get better once his molars come in and he can grind food better? Any advice would be appreciated.
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No advice, we aren't there yet. Is there anyway you can "sneak" healthier foods? Like a grilled cheese sandwich?
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I'd say between 2-2.5 yo you can start sending them to bed hungry. That is what my friends with older kids have told me. After a few days of being hungry, the kids come around and start eating the other stuff.
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I was also going to say to try to sneak healthy foods. Like zucchini bread or put healthy things in the muffins. Lo is just 7 1/2 months so I don't have much good advice.
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@Thehistoryofus: I tried the other day to put a slice of ham into the grilled cheese and he would take each little square, pull it apart, and throw the ham either on his tray or on the floor or offer it to the dogs. Not a single bite of ham actually got past him.
@artbee: I always do blueberry, whole wheat apple, or zucchini muffins so that is a small win.
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Is it that you want him to eat other proteins?
I can't fool my son (15 months) by any stretch. He knows what he wants when it comes to mealtimes and while I control what I offer, I can't control what he swallows. I try not to stress about it too much.
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@looch: proteins, fruits, and vegetables is what I'd like to get more of into him. For example, I'll serve some meatloaf (which he'll eat at school), scalloped potatoes, and peas. He will sit in his highchair crying and won't even pick up the food let alone let it near his face. If I brought him a piece of toast he'd be in heaven and would gobble it up. I don't want to give in to his preferences because it might set us up for him controlling me and I'm not willing to make two meals every time, even if the second meal is as simple as a grilled cheese. At the same time, I want to make sure my child is getting the nutrition and energy he needs.
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It's hard, isn't it? I can't understand why one day he'll love fish, then the next time I serve it, he tries to throw it on the floor, even prepared in the exact same way. I just keep trying. When I really need him to eat, I make him a chunky puree of sweet potato, spinach, meat and pastina. It's not ideal, I don't want to create negative associations around food...that's where I struggle the most.
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@looch: Yes! Maybe I need to start making my own chunky purees.
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Wow sounds like you have a tough one on your hands!
Maybe for now try to at least make healthy starches? Lots of whole grains? What about like banana bread, zucchini bread, etc. I know they make pasta that has a full serving of vegetables in it.
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We STILL dip things in applesauce and RJ is 2 now. We'd do a whole spoonful of applesauce and put a tiny bit of food into it, then gradually increase teh size of the food and decrease the amount of applesauce. He learned to eat fish sticks this way. Now he'll pick them up and eat them plain.
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@Thehistoryofus: My son won't touch pasta at all. I've tried the veggie pasta, the spirals, the stick noodles, the little soup star shapes, the colors, etc. My kid is apparently incredibly weird/stubborn.
@mrs. wagon: I believe I will try your applesauce dipping method. Good suggestion.
Thank you to all of you for suggesting ideas! It is very appreciated.
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@pelikila: also know that it's a phase... for a LONG time probably between 18 and 25 months RJ would NOT eat bread. What kind of kid doesn't like bread?!? Usually kids live ONLY on bread!!! He basically ate only six foods during that time: scrambled eggs, yogurt, applesauce, pasta, ham, and cheese. He's just now leaving that picky phase and will now eat bread. He just tried a french fry and didn't spit it out for the first time in his life. The big bummer is that he used to eat steamed veggies every day (green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes) but stopped during the picky phase and now it's IMPOSSIBLE to get him to eat them again. We're not stressing about it too much and trying to hide it as best as we can in mac and cheese.
And he won't eat mashed potatoes. Who doesn't like mashed potatoes...?!?!?
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You mentioned he'll eat meatloaf at school which makes me think this is something of a control/manipulation issue already. If he eats it at school but not home it's probably because they won't cater to him and offer him other options. Try doing that at home and see what happens. I promise you he will NOT starve himself. He WILL eat at some point.
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@eeh: That was my thought with my original question - at what age might it be okay to take that stand?
@mrs. wagon: Thanks for the encouragement. And you are not alone, my son hates mashed potatoes too. It took months to get him to eat a french fry but now they are okay to him. The palates and stubbornness of toddlers are incredibly frustrating.
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@pelikila: I think I am maybe with @eeh. If he eats it at school then it's not that he doesn't like it. He might be being a naughty monkey for his Mum!
It's a hard one though. Have you talked to them at school about it? They may have tips and might be able to answer some of your questions. I have read that they say it can take up to 10 times for babies/toddlers to take to new foods.
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Once he's healthy and a healthy weight, the odd missed meal will do him no harm. He's well old enough to do what he's told:)
ETA he probably knows by your behaviour/reaction that it's important to you that he eats, so it's an easy power play for him! -
I don't think there's a set age at which you can start taking a stand. I think it has to be on a child by child basis (like most things regarding children). If your little one is healthy and your ped doesn't have any concerns about him gaining weight then I think now is a great time to start. It will be hard at first because he'll probably be a little whiney since he's hungry and he's trying to get you to cave. I would also avoid giving him snacks in between meals. Give him the options you want him to eat and that's that. If he goes to bed hungry, so be it. Like I said, he will NOT starve himself. Even though he's a baby he has a natural survival instinct and will eventually give in and eat what you provide.
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