Not to be a bummer, but this is a spin-off of another thread, and is something that Hubs and I have discussed a few times. It's not meant to be judgy or offensive.
What if you couldn't get pregnant naturally? I know that some of y'all have used fertility treatments, and I guess my question is how far would you go? Hubs and I have said that if it doesn't happen naturally, we'd do a few visits with a fertility expert, and then consider adoption. We don't think we'll pursue IVF.
What would you do?
blogger / apricot / 349 posts
My hubs and I have talked about this extensively. We too would try some fertility treatments (maybe take a clomid) but I don't think we would pursue IVF either because of the cost and it's not 100% guaranteed. We are trying naturally (and I think we can but I've miscarried a couple times). 
Adoption is an option but I'm praying that we will conceive naturally in God's perfect time. 
apple seed / 3 posts
adoption, 100%. there are so many great babies/kids who need people who feel a strong desire to be parents. i used to worry about the possible challenges of adopting children but now i know a lot of people who have biological children...and i've learned that parenthood is challenging, period.
olive / 52 posts
This is tough. I've always been very pro-adoption, but after having had a biological kid, there is something incredibly compelling (and that's a weak word choice) about having a child from your own body. However, the adoptive parents I know (several who adopted after failed IVFs or to complete their family after a dangerous/difficult first pregnancy) love their adopted children just as fiercely and perhaps with a greater appreciation than I do my biological child.
I would like to hope that if I had been unable to conceive without IVF that I would have had the guts to close the door and work towards adoption. Not that I believe the choice for IVF would have been a wrong one, but because as a Christian the idea of adoption is huge, and I think if God blocked my path to bio kids He would be pointing me towards building an adopted family.
honeydew / 7968 posts
well, my husband and i discussed it before it became an option/issue and we thought we'd never do it.... seemed "unnatural"....and maybe we were trying to be god and taking things into our own hands. but... after about 3+ years of trying, 1 miscarriage, and clomid and iui not working.... we decided that maybe ivf is a possibility - that maybe god made that tool available for some people.... that maybe that was our way of getting pregnant. cost was not an issue for us, so for us, it was just getting over the idea of taking things into our own hands. but we prayed about it and we decided to at least go for one treatment and if that didn't work, then maybe that wasn't the avenue for us... we did it and we're so glad we did. now we have 2 beautiful buns in the oven. for me, was totally worth it. as much as i'd love to adopt one day, i definitely wanted a biological child. i just don't think there's anything quite like carrying a baby for 9 months. of course, if it wasn't meant to be, i would have accepted that. but god had other plans for us.
cherry / 181 posts
The list of interventions we would try is limited and we wouldn't do ivf for faith reasons. Adoption is more of an option.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
We talked about it a bit, because we are both older. I would have done IVF, but DH wouldn't have. If we could not have children naturally, we would remain childless.
pear / 1664 posts
We are both open to adoption. We don't think it would be right for us to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on fertility treatment when there are kids out there who need homes. We're open to adoption from the US or from another part of the world.
pomelo / 5628 posts
We would definitely try IVF. I think everyone deserves a chance at having a baby. I have a good friend who is 10 weeks after IVF right now and is beyond thrilled. DH finally said he could be ok with adoption like last week which was a relief to me in case we really can't do it ourselves. We would definitely adopt if IVF did not work. (We've been TTC over a year.)
honeydew / 7968 posts
people are so against ivf, but if you really think about it, it's just helping the eggs and sperm get together...essentially. if you say you won't because of "faith based" reason - does that mean you won't do ANY fertility treatments? i'm honestly curious - where do you "draw" the line? let god handle it in his own way. shouldn't "intervene".... if you have progesterone problems, guess we wouldn't take progesterone? if you're not ovulating, you shouldn't take clomid? well, my views on ivf have definitely changed. it's an opportunity to fix whatever is wrong and for us, they couldn't find a reason. i had an hsg done and they said i was all clear, yet i got pregnant right after we did it. so my husband thinks i may have a blockage that is preventing the eggs and sperms from getting together. so ivf was our cure and it worked for us.
also, lots of doctors say that it's 50% chance of getting pregnant. live births are probably less but 50%! that's HUGE! and totally worth it, especially if you're young and there's no sperm issues. especially if you want your own babies. that's like DOUBLE the rate of trying to get pregnant naturally. NOTHING is 100% and out of all the fertility treatments, ivf has one of the (if not THE) highest rate of pregnancy.
i am officially pro-ivf. thank you, lord, for the opportunity!
cherry / 182 posts
I would do IUI but not IVF for religious/personal reasons. Adoption would also be a choice — whether we would pursue IUI or adoption first would be the decision we would need to make.
@Tequiero21 — I can't speak for other ladies, but my reason for not wanting IVF is because multiple eggs are fertilized in the process, and I believe that life begins at conception (ie, when the sperm meets the egg). I don't hold anything against those who choose to go the IVF route; it's just a personal conviction.
kiwi / 575 posts
We miscarried in December 2010. After several months of TTC naturally, we tried two medicated IUIs and they didn't work. We are currently scheduled for an IVF schedule in December - though we haven't yet fully committed. I think we're going for it though...It might be our only chance at my age (almost 36) and with my infertility issues...
honeydew / 7968 posts
@geekinheels - gotcha. yeah, i totally understand that. i guess for us, although we believe life starts at conception, we're sort of inclined to believe that they start once they implant. there are many times where eggs and sperms get together and don't implant. and many of us don't even know about it.
i definitely will get sad when we discard our eggs. but who knows, we may use them again if we want more kids. also, there is an option to donate them, which i bet is for people who are strongly against discarding them.
well, for those who are strongly against ivf and going for adoption again, kudos to them because i do also want to help out kids who don't have any parents.
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
We discussed and we would try some fertility treatments and if that didn't work then we would adopt.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
This is a topic that we've discussed shortly as we prepare to TTC in the new year. Hubby is very optimistic and doesn't want to talk very much about it, but I want to be prepared. We both decided that we will try "naturally" for at least a year. Then we will get tested and do IVF as necessary. If not, we will look into adoption. We both decided that we want to be parents. PERIOD.
olive / 52 posts
I read an article the other day about embryo adoption -- it's like the best of both worlds with IVF and adoption. The original IVF couple donates their embryos, and the adoptive parents get the experience of pregnancy and childbirth without having to go through the costs involved in harvesting the eggs and making more (excess) embryos. It's not for everyone, but I thought that would be a great solution for some people. If I hadn't been able to get pregnant naturally I might have looked into that.
pea / 7 posts
We are currently dealing with infertility and pursuing treatments, but I don't think we are up for IVF for the same faith-based reason mentioned by @geekinheels. Right now, IUI is as far as I'll go. But knowing the emotional toll this whole process takes on a person, I completely understand anyone's decision to move on to IVF.
The choice to move on to adoption is a tough one, too. Much like infertility, the process is very long, difficult, emotional and expensive. But adopting a child won't cure my infertility, so I think I'd have to allow myself time to grieve over never having a biological child before ever fully considering adoption.
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