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eh, I think kids are more spoiled by parental behaviors like lack of healthy boundaries, or having little to no family rules/routines/schedules rather than by possessions. If that makes sense.

As a teacher, I've worked in both extremely low income (like 98% low income schools) and I currently work in a school where we have less than 1% low income students--I actually don't encounter any more spoiled students now than I did then. I have students who clearly have a lot in terms of family wealth, but they are compassionate lovely kiddos to work with. And I've had students who were "spoiled" but whose parents were struggling to make ends meet. It's the kids who are never given a chance to learn about delayed gratification and who aren't allowed to fail in healthy ways that end up being spoiled.

I guess I think of spoiled as having an entitled attitude when it's not earned.

As an aside, I don't think it's easy to strike a balance as a parent between "spoiling" your kids and just giving them everything you'd like to give them. This is something I have to be conscious about because most parents' gut reactions are to try to solve our kids problems for them or to get them whatever will keep them from being sad. It's really fun as the parent to give your kids things they are excited over. Less fun when it's 2 weeks later and the item is trashed or put away never to be played with again for a year.

I was not spoiled when I was a kid, we had enough money for the necessities, but I didn't have copious amounts of toys, books and art supplies. Nothing was purchased for us outside of holidays and birthdays. In addition, I have a brother with special needs, so once he was born when I was 8, all of my parent's attention was on him.

Now as an adult, my parents have more time and also more extra money to spend, so I am for sure spoiled in the sense that they do a lot for me and never ask for anything in return. I think they do it in part to make up for the time that they didn't give me when I was younger.

My son would fit the definition of spoiled, he thinks he gets $20 for just pouring my father a glass of water. I try to intervene, but it's my father's way of showing his love for my son.

@Anagram: I agree with you on the parental behaviors. Totally guilty of letting LO do what he wants. DH often reminds me what I accept will not fly at school. In that sense I label it as indulging LO and not really spoiling him.

In terms of stuff I think perhaps LO is a bit spoiled, but that’s not just because of the quantity of his toys. Honestly, I don’t have enough IRL friends with kids to know if we have gone overboard or not, but I don’t think we have. LO is still at the age where he’s grateful for everything he has.

Yes, I grew up spoiled. My parents doted on me and I had a lot of stuff. There were limitations on what my parents would buy. For example, my mom is a bargain shopper and when at 14 I wanted a top from Express I took a babysitting job and bought it myself at full price.

I didn't vote, but I'll share my thoughts. My mom always said we were spoiled, but not spoiled rotten. By this, I think she meant that we had everything we needed and many things we asked for. Specifically, as a young child I rarely asked for things I wanted (I won't go into all the reasons for this....) but when I did I often did get them. Because I was used to not getting things I did want (because I didn't even ask) I think I was very appreciative of what i did get.

I think spoiled means not appreciating what you have, expecting more and more and more, and acting poorly when you don't get what you want. I think this is hard for toddler and young kids because they are still learning how to moderate their feelings, so kids with big feelings about disappointments aren't spoiled in my opinion, even though it's hard not to label their behavior (which is normal) "spoiled." I think kids become spoiled when their parents have no boundaries, their experience of the world is that it revolves around them, and when parents give in to tantrums too often. I try hard to find a balance of prioritizing my son and what he needs (and to an extent wants) while also honoring what I need and want sometimes too. Once our new addition arrives, I hope he sees there are multiple needs to balance and no one person always gets what they want all the time. I also almost NEVER give in to tantrums. I don't punish them, because he is still learning to control his behavior, but I almost never give in to a tantrum to make it stop.

I think spoiled is when someone always gets their way, but I don't think that's the same as being a spoiled brat, necessarily. I also think there are huge degrees of spoiled!

I don't get upset about it but it somewhat bothers me when people are truly confused between developmentally appropriate behavior and just being spoiled.

I think this is a hard question to answer. My kids want for nothing. They’re well fed, plenty of clothes, shoes, toys, etc. So in some sense I guess you could call it “spoiled”. But they don’t act entitled or demanding. At least DS (4) doesn’t. DD IS 1.5 and too young to be spiked or entitled yet.

I do think that if we’re not careful we will spoil DD. She’s the younger one, but she’s totally the alpha between my kids. She likes to grab toys from DS and demand attention, and sometimes we don’t set enough boundaries because it’s hard and we’re tired from parenting two kids and working, etc.