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Oh no, I'm so sorry! How old is your son?

He's about 10 months now, right? I think he's probably used to being worn in the wrap or carrier so, he probably expects that. Your grandmother, only meeting him once, cannot determine if he is spoiled or not. Can you do some work with him on weekends to see if you can get him to play and hang out by himself w/o carrying him?

Considering he's going for nap time & not his regular play/wake time, I wouldn't say it's an issue of being "spoiled" right off the bat. Some babies just don't sleep well away from home or when their nap/bed time routine is interrupted and of course an over tired baby makes for a cranky/crying baby. It has nothing to do with the frequency of them being held/worn though.

That & some babies are just high needs babies, regardless of parenting style.

Is he used to going to sleep on his own? In different places other than home? Maybe see if you could go to his daycare and put him to sleep there a couple times so he can get used to it?

@pastemoo: I don't envy you. I lost child care a couple of weeks ago and the search was horrible. In my area, there isn't enough child care so, Every place I called was full and had a wait list. We ended up with only 1 week of no child care but it was emotionally difficult.

@pastemoo: Sounds more like a lazy day care than a spoiled baby to me!

I don't personally think that a baby who craves contact and a lot of attention is spoiled, I think they're normal. Sure, some babies want less, and some babies get less and are just fine with it. But you certainly have not spoiled your baby. You've just raised him lovingly and closely in your own way.

Man, this sucks! I'm sorry. As a former childcare provider there IS something to having the right personality match between provider and child, and I hope you find that match soon.

I don't think you're spoiling him by wearing him, which is something that a childcare provider could/should realistically do. I think it's great that you're encouraging him to play independently, but if he's not feeling totally comfortable at a new place he might not be willing to do that.

For what it's worth, I once watched this 6 month old for an entire month before I had to say no more. He wouldn't stop screaming when he was with me and nothing I did (aside from stepping outside, which wasn't always possible) made it any better. I was in tears most days and after I quit they found someone that he absolutely loved and was happy to be with. I don't know what it was about me, but we just didn't jive! I was happy that they found someone and I was happy to move on from the crummy situation. I hope you find something that fits everyone's needs soon!

@pastemoo: We haven't had to try "real" daycare yet, J is still at my mom's but he's 9 months and will be the death of the daycare if/when he goes. He's the SAME way. He is just a needy baby, always has been. I don't think it's anything I did specifically, we don't totally coddle him and he does play independently, but on the days he's fussy/needy? Oh gah. You betta watch out. Since he's with my mom for now it's not an issue, but when the time comes for daycare it really will be difficult.

I think I "know" you and G a little better than most bees here and I know how much you babywear but I do not believe G is spoiled or manipulative... You and I both recognize the benefits of babywearing esp in the early months but for me, I know the moment J started showing more independence I def let up on babywearing. I wasn't babywearing to spoil him and definitely wanted to encourage independence. But I don't believe that leaving a child crying in a chair/swing/etc is better than wearing them for fear of spoiling

I do think G is a very high maintenance child. That's not necessarily a bad thing and YOU did nothing to make him that way, it's personality. My sister has a son who is high maintenance and that's actually the reason she started babywearing! So I know that baby wearing isn't the culprit.

Anyway... I understand from the daycare providers POV that as a small daycare she couldn't handle a very high string child with other children to care for, but I also agree with others that a better daycare might fit his personal needs better. I don't think you should feel you need to compromise his personal needs: meaning if he's the type of baby who does best being held 90% of the time, try to find a center that can accommodate that!

I know money is a factor so easier said than done! Good luck

@pastemoo: Honestly, I do think that 9 months is a rough age too. They have so much going on that even the most independent, low-maintenance kids need a little extra. C is extremely independent and she went through a massive clingy, grumpy phase at that age.

Hopefully you can find a provider who is a better fit soon.

Sounds like he's being a normal baby to me... but your step grandma would know better, after all she has met him once and I've not met him at all!!

Please don't let her comments get to you. She doesn't know what she's talking about.... once you find a daycare provider your LO clicks with he'll be toddling off to play without a glance back, while you sniffle at the gate!