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I needed to hear this a bunch: you need to drink a lot of water! I had dehydration headaches at the start those are really awful. Also, I think it's important to reiterate that you should continue to take your prenatal vitamins and eat well (and probably more than you're used to). Oh, and Kellymom talks about hot showers, but those were sort of the magic cure for clogged ducts for me.
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1. Pumpin pals are way more comfortable than standard Medela flanges and were critical to my ability to pump. I also lubricated them with olive oil. Anything else and it was way too horrifically uncomfortable to pump.
2. If/when I pump again, I will research the Freemie cups. I really hated how wearing a breast pump made me feel, and this looks like a much more manageable option.
3. Nursing was painful for me for eight weeks. I have no idea why I stuck it out. I nursed during the day and pumped overnight while my husband bottle fed. I was really resentful of my pump and really grateful to my husband.
4. After those eight weeks I was so glad to have a nursing relationship with my son. It was so easy to not need any gear/supplies to feed him when we were together. Snuggling with him in the glider in the MOTN instead of getting up and dealing with the pump was a delicious luxury in comparison. I assume it would have been better than dealing with prepping a bottle of formula too. Also, it made going back to work easier because I always felt like nursing set me apart from everyone else. So I did not worry about my son mixing me up with our nanny.
5. When people told me breastfeeding was hard, I did not believe them. I figured it was a natural thing so why would it be difficult? Well I'll tell you why it's difficult: Even if you are lucky and don't have any nipple pain / thrush / mastitis / issues with baby latching, it is a RELENTLESS responsibility. You can never take a break, even if you are away from the baby, because you need to maintain your supply. There is no other job I have ever experienced that is 24/7 in such an intense way. No one can take your place. That really threw me off because I did not expect it, and I think that dynamic coupled with my arbitrary determination to avoid formula set me up for a mentally challenging postpartum period. I wish I had taken that warning seriously, and that it had been explained to me more thoroughly. I would have been better prepared.
6. For a long time, Lansinoh Soothies were the only reason I was able to wear a shirt.
7. I was given bad advice that I did not need to get a breast pump in advance. My son's latch was fierce and it took a long time for me to be able to nurse round the clock. We had a panic when we got home from the hospital and scrambled to borrow a hospital grade pump from my best friend. I knew I would need one eventually (since I was going back to work full time) and regret not lining it up in advance.
8. Please don't feel shy or ashamed about nursing in public. I knew one woman who basically sequestered herself at home because it was the only way she felt comfortable nursing. That is a great formula for postpartum depression in my opinion. Getting out of the house was key to my sanity with an infant, especially during maternity leave.
Sorry this was so long. It is obviously something I feel strongly about!
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It stresses me out when people start supplementing because "baby seems hungry, I don't have enough milk"... not because I don't like formula, but because it seems like extra work and steps for no reason.
If they are peeing/pooping and gaining weight.. you are good. Put them back on the boob. Unless you *want* to supplement, then that's cool too. But it seems like a lot of people think they need to supplement when they actually don't.. or they think they have low supply when they actually don't.
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How damn important it is to keep your sessions even if the baby doesn't seem to need it. Don't drop sessions!!
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If it is hurting, it's possible that the baby isn't sucking properly- my daughter seemed to have some premie tendencies, despite being born at the same time as her brother, who didn't. She didn't know how to suck very well, and the LC was able to ID this and help train her how to suck correctly by massaging her tongue. The first FOUR LCs we talked to didn't know this, but the fifth did, and it was amazing.
ETA- I had no idea that breastfeeding would help me lose so much weight, so that was a good thing (for me- I know not everyone wants to lose weight). I know that isn't a universal thing, but it's something that might happen.
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You've been given a ton of good ones already so the only one I will add is that I wish I had know about D-MER, which is when you get a feeling of depression during letdown. I got this with both my kids (still get it now sometimes while pumping for my 13 month old). It is really, really hard to separate this type of chemical sadness from all the general anxiety, sleeplessness, etc in the newborn phase. Ironically, I even forgot about it from my 1st and when I had my 2nd baby, I remember telling DH how I was feeling so depressed while breastfeeding. And then a light bulb went off for me, and I remembered the D-MER, and it made it much more manageable when I could separate that out and realize that I actually wasn't depressed most of the time, only during letdown.
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-Glandular Insufficiency is a thing
-It's ok to hate pumping and not do it
-You might leak all day every day
-Check for tongue and lip ties
-There are many more positions than cradle or football. My infant fed sitting upright on my leg! -
@meganmp: Amen! BFing was excellent for weight loss. Once I stopped I packed on the pounds- boo!
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I wish I understood supply and demand better. People talked about it but I didn’t understand until I was in it. Specifically in regards to growth spurts. Growth spurts: baby seems like they’re not getting enough milk so they nurse and nurse...and nurse. But they’re just trying to get more milk to come in since they’re getting ready to growth!
Yes on tongue and lip ties. Ok it’s painful in the beginning but if everyone says the latch is good and it’s still toe curling pain, check for ties. And if a nurse or dr checks and says there are none, check yourself!!!! We had 3 pediatricians and two Lactation consultants miss a severe posterior tongue tie that almost ended my nursing journey!!!
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That things like PCOS and hypothyroid can cause low supply. How to supplement properly to still work to increase and then maintain supply.
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@IRunForFun: That you may feel like you're chained to the couch for days at a time. That too, shall pass
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Definitely tips on returning to work and when to start pumping and introducing a bottle.
Also, how to work a freezer stash (ie that you shouldn't actually be using your freezer stash...it is only there for an emergency...you should be pumping what you need for the next day). -
@catlady: Yes I was going to say D-MER. I feel like a lot of LCs don’t talk about it because maybe they don’t want to scare anyone away from BF? But it’s real and intense and I didn’t know about it till one of my closest friends experienced it (on top of some severe ppd/ppa) and her therapist told her. She dropped BF and that alone helped her immensely.
And also just that BF may not be a good fit if you are suffering from PPD/PPA. In my experience they don’t play well together. If it’s making your PPA/PPD worse, it’s ok to stop or supplement. My PP doula/LC is the one that saw what it was doing to me and she’s the one that ended up encouraging me to stop. She saved my life and I’m already talking to her again in preparation for LO2.
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That we would hit milestones and it would get easier and easier.
That getting her to take a bottle was near impossible.
Tips on pumping/pump weaning.
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@Mrs. Champagne: I agree and also just to add, do not allow other people question your supply. This didn’t happen to me personally but I’ve read so many people talking about other people stressing them out over their supply. Generally their mom who didn’t breastfeed and doesn’t really understand the whole supply/demand concept and that little babies do nurse a lot/you can’t necessarily compare it to formula feeding in that way.
If you want to have a successful breastfeeeding relationship, try to surround yourself with those who will be supportive of it.
Agree with the comments about nursing session length, my first was always a very speedy nurser and it stressed me out originally.
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@erinbaderin: how did you keep your supply? I’ve never hear of supplementing just at daycare and would love to learn more.
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@petitenoisette: yes!! My son didn't poop for 5 days after he I was born. He did in the hospital and then that was it. He was peeing and gaining and I was confident he was eating. My mom tried hard to "switch to formula". She never breastfed.
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LO2 would drink pretty poorly from a bottle but nursed all night. it took months of me pumping 15oz at work he wouldn't drink and then nursing all night to realize that I didn't need to pump that much. It was so tiring.
My midwives said that babies come out with everything they need for the first 24 hours and all nursing during that time is practice for both of you and then at 24 hours it's go time. This really took the pressure off. Even with LO1 who was jaundice and after 24 hours got fed every two hours no matter what.
I ATE SO MUCH when breastfeeding infants and it really didn't start to slow down until 9-12 months. So much food. Be ready for that. I was lucky that my mom was around PP for both and just fed me all day. Have a food support plan.
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To echo what a few others have said...
- I had raw nipples for like 4-6 weeks and it hurt every single time but got better as DS’s mouth grew and latch got stronger.. We were doing everything right, but it just still hurt longer than most people say. I saw my LC and she helped me be okay with pumping and bottle-feeding to give my sore nips a rest.
- That your nipples can heal so fast! Even a 24-hour “break” (pumping instead of having baby latch on) helps so much.
- That the weight can come off quickly or slowly (and others say not at all). For me, it started to really come off around 10-11 months. I thought it was going to come off so much sooner based on what other people said.
- Having a BF-friendly ped, daycare, partner, nanny, parent, best friend, FB group, or whatever is very important. It’s just so important to feel supported ‘cause it’s hard and you will want assurance for the first few months at least. DS was around 10-15% for weight at 6 months and the rest of his daycare class were FF and super chunky. I started feeling pressure from daycare because his bottles weren’t as big as the FF babies and they said he was fussy. While I was fine with supplementing if necessary, it just didn’t seem right to me what they were saying because BM has a higher caloric value. But the last thing you want to feel is that you are leaving your baby hungry! I did increase his bottles a bit but not as much as the FF amount, after checking in with the ped and LC who supported me/us.
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@peaches1038: these are great!
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- ENGORGEMENT when the milk does come in. and it hurts more than childbirth (pain at childbirth at least everyone prepared you for it and you expected the worst, not engorgement!). And it doesn't stop (well, for around 24 hours). When milk finally came in for me, my boobs were like painful rocks. No matter how much my baby drank, it just filled up within 10 seconds and became rocks again. Pumping didn't really relieve it because the boobs were like rocks, the suction cups couldn't fit seamlessly and the suction was poor. It was terrible.
- It is good to interview and have a lactation consultant's phone number on my phone's contacts list BEFORE childbirth. Regardless if I need it or not it is a good idea to have that. It is a very difficult task to locate a good one once you are in that chaotic hell of trying to figure everything out.
There were other things but it may be weird things that only happen to me. For instance, when DS was 7 or 8 months, my boobs just shut down for no reason. It was filled with milk but it couldn't be pumped out and my baby couldn't get it out. It was a terrible few days. Then somehow it was fine again.
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How did class go?
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@jennlin821: It went really well, thanks for asking!!
I did dedicate a pretty good chunk of time discussing potential issues and how to troubleshoot them, and assured everyone that if it isn't easy at first there's nothing wrong with them or their baby, etc. I also spent quite a while on pumping/milk storage etc and everyone had lots of questions on that. It felt like 2 hours wasn't long enough for everything I wanted to cover so next time I might try a 3-hour weekend class.
Thanks so much to everyone for their awesome input!
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D-MER! I had PPA/PPD with both kids, but terribly with my first, so I thought feeling terrible when I nursed was just me being crazy. Every time I nursed, but especially when I pumped, I felt nauseated and like I was going to puke. It got better somewhat over time, but I never loved breastfeeding or pumping and the only reason I did it for as long as I did with both children is because I supplemented with 1-2 bottles of formula a day. I didn't know about D-MER being a thing until my oldest was like 6 months old. I didn't make any set decisions about how to feed my second because of my experience with my first, but decided I felt okay enough to put up with it. I felt slightly nauseated when nursing/pumping my second, but not as horribly as my first. And my supply was better with my second child so I was able to build a stash faster and quit nursing/pumping earlier.
EBF isn't an award and you don't get some gold star for never having given formula. Supplementation can be key to actually HAVING a nursing relationship with your child. I completely credit formula for allowing me to provide breastmilk to my kids for as long as I did.
And don't starve your child in the beginning if your milk takes a while to come in. My eldest was in NICU for jaundice and ultimately, it was formula and lots of it that fixed the problem. Had I listened to the viciously militant LCs who worked in the maternity ward and who actually told me I should refuse to let the NICU nurses give formula, my eldest could have gotten really sick. Turns out my milk didn't even think about coming in for a whole week. I'm glad in my postpartum haze I was still able to make the decision to give formula (granted they made me feel like an abject failure).
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I agree with @adira. Lactation consultants kept telling me “it’s not supposed to hurt and if it does that means something is wrong”. Well they were wrong because it certainly did hurt sooo much in the beginning and it just got better and better with time. Luckily I stuck it out.
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