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I wish I had known how much I would hate it for a while, but that it would get better, and that that's ok. I felt like it was supposed to be this magical awe-inspiring time where I'd stare at my peaceful baby and he'd stare at me and we'd have an incomprehensible connection. Instead I remember crying to my husband "He just NEEDS me SO MUCH!"

I wish I had known that it's NORMAL for it to hurt for the first few weeks. I had it repeated to me over and over "If it hurts, you're doing it wrong" but when LC would check his latch, they confirmed everything was right. I thought someone was wrong with ME since it hurt for the first 6-7 weeks.

Nipple shields, different types of pads and cups to help sore nipples heal and the magical healing powers of breast milk were all so key for me (I put bm on everything while I could. It's the BEST for mosquito and fire ant bites, lol!). Also, knowing that there was a lactation specialist somewhere in the hospital and all I had to do was ask for her was huge (my son was a biter at birth, so it looked like a good latch, but hurt in a NOT normal way). I also asked at my bf class if I could bring my pump with me when I gave birth so that they could check my flange sizing, and they said, "yes please!" My friend called a lac consultant to come to her house, and she said that was the best money they spent on the baby hands-down. I would have never known that was an option or that my issues were "bad enough" to warrant someone coming to my house without her guidance.

I wish someone had said it’s very hard, it’s normal to hate it, it hurts, and it’s ok to stop. None of that makes you a bad mom.

I just feel that breast is best is spread so much that it made me feel that something was wrong with me because I didn’t like it. My class just breezed through everything assuming you wouldn’t have any issues and would love it. I wish it had been more realistic and focused on some of the negative and not so pretty aspects of it.

@MamaBear87: agree, I've never ever used the boppy!

I wish I had known and understood more what “milk comes in” means and the timing. I was really upset realizing I starved my baby for 4-5 days because my milk had not come in yet. I should have been giving him formula instead of trying to force BF.

That it's ok to supplement in the beginning with formula or pumped milk, especially if your milk comes in late.

@Adira: i had a fairly easy and wonderful breastfeeding journey but my best friend struggled and it was awful to watch her feel like a failure because "breast is best". Not everyone can breastfeed or wants to and that is perfectly ok

@winniebee: Yes, this. My first son nursed for, like, 20-30 minutes on each side for months. My second baby was five minutes flat. I spent a lot of time worrying that he wasn't getting enough to eat.

1) Latches can be perfect but still hurt at first.
2) Nipple shields are gifts from above and deserve all the good words I can give them.
3) Pumping output is NO indication of what your baby gets when they nurse.
4) There is SO MUCH SUPPORT for you on the internet (in terms of pro-nursing, anti-cover, you do it anywhere you want sista), but that doesn't translate to real life. Sometimes you're going to make someone uncomfortable by nursing, even if you are 100% fully covered up. And that's ok. You do you! You don't have to be comfortable being a boobs-out nurser, but you don't have to hide under a blanket either. Find your middle ground; what makes YOU comfortable is all that matters.
5) It doesn't have to be all breast or all formula. You can do both!

That its totally awkward and its ok to tell your nurses and LC's that this position or that position is not comfortable for you. And that it would be OK to use a nipple shield.

These two points for me are what caused me to go straight to pumping. LO didn't latch well, she sucks with the back of her tongue instead of the front, and I still wonder if they'd given me a nipple shield if that would've helped at all, but it was never even offered. And the football hold was so awkward and uncomfortable, I felt like I had 0 control of the baby and that I was going to drop her on the ground, but that was the position they kept putting us in. I wish I stood my ground

Also, if baby starts having any issues with your breast milk, try eliminating foods from your diet. No one told me to even try that, so our bm journey ended early and she was fully on formula at 3 weeks I think? She has a milk sensitivity...

So I just had my third baby and I am pumping and ff'ing for her at one month old. I'm actually happy with that bc I don't feel I have the time and energy with two older kids to work out lo3's bf issues (and she had more than lo1 did too.) However what I have learned from having two babies with similar issues (dehydration, easily losing weight, borderline bili levels about a day off from being readmitted..) is that breastfeeding classes really ought to stop with the "your baby doesn't need anything and it's ok they are losing weight" to telling moms when and HOW to supplement while waiting for milk to come in. It's tricky and it can be really scary when your six lb baby is quickly losing more weight...

With my first I really wish someone had emphasized to stick with it for the first 6 weeks. That feeding baby is basically the only thing you should worry about ( there will be time for schedules and cleaning the house later). That’s the hardest time; mom and baby both have to figure it out, baby’s mouth is small so latch is harder to get good, it feels like he needs you all the time (building supply), etc. but that it does get better, much much better.

I wish I had been told specifics about nursing side effects:

1) It does hurt for the first month, even when you are doing it correctly
2) What does thrush, yeast, cracked nipples, clogged nipples, mastitis LOOK like, how to tell the difference?
Do I ask my primary care or my OB these questions?
3) Feedings take a variety of times - I only had to feed DD on one side...what should I have done with the other side?
4) Pumping - This was basically not covered at all. When and how to build a stash to go back to work. Also, how to pump just one side at a time. My nipples are very small, so I had to order much smaller flanges, but this was never mentioned.

Also, the class I took said not to start the bottle to early as it would cause nipple confusion. That for moms going back to work, start introducing the bottle a week or two before. (which would make the baby 2-3 months old, in most cases) but when I called our lacation consultant, she said that starting at one month is ideal, just a bottle a day for the baby to get used to it.
That really helped me, I got used to pumping and my husband could do some feedings, and I could sleep for a few consecutive hours!

So many moms panic because the baby won't take the bottle, so they spend their last few weeks of maternity leave stressing trying to figure out what bottles work, and if the baby will eat enough without them.

Start early and slow, and it will help everyone transition!

Day two clusterfeeding!!!

Normal bf’ing and sleeping (frequent feeding and waking are both biologically normal).

Places to go for support (LLL, KellyMom etc).

Let them know there’s a HUGE range of normal for babies!

I didn't read all the responses a few things come to mind:

- it will get better, as others said it is painful in the beginning
- ask for help, I cannot recommend enough the benefit of working with a lactation consultant early. I know there is a cost but it is something that proved to be invaluable for us. As I prepare for baby #2 I will have them scheduled to come soon after we are home from the hospital. I nursed my son until just over 20 months so I am very comfortable but every baby is different and I will not go without a one on one consultant again.
- have your pump ready. I was so engorged on the one side he would not latch on, I was beside myself on what to do. I luckily had a lactation consultant come to my home and work through it but I had not been prepared to use my pump right away.

I didn't read all the other responses.

- That breastfeeding can ALSO not hurt, and be wonderful, even in the beginning. I was so surprised bc I had read so many horror stories here, and I had a very bad attitude starting breastfeeding as a result.

- Coconut oil is great nipple cream.

- Cluster-feeding, especially in the evening during witching hour(s).

- A bit of formula here and there for the first couple days to tide you through is 100% worth it. Baby is better-fed, more well-rested, mom is more well-rested, and really it's not going to permanently damage your supply long term. LO had 1 formula serving days 2-5 and then was EBF for the next 5 months, and no formula until month 9.

- If planning to go back to work, learn how to use your pump and introduce a bottle early, like beginning of month 2. There is a learning curve for both!

- It's not nursing OR formula feeding; supplementing is a great medium alternative.