Hellobee Boards

@Mrs. Train: Seriously. It breaks our hearts. It's also frustrating because they think we are rich, and omg, we are not. So they get angry at us when we can't give them what they want?? How do you deal with that, ya know? Thanks stupid ex biatch mom.

I believe in financial advice. I believe in teaching children to save and how to save and how to spend responsibly. I do not believe any child needs to know how much I bring home. How do they benefit? I still to this day don't know how much my parents bring home but I know they save, and I know there is money put away from me. They're retired and happy and don't need financial assistance. They taught me to be the same way without bringing how much money they make into it.

I would tell her if she asked and we think she is old enough.

But I do think giving a kid a number (whether true or not) and then breaking out down expenses each month is valuable. I would get so mad at my parents cause they said we didn't have money for stuff. They finally sat me down and went over expenses. I had no idea how tight things were. It was a good lesson.

Good question.

My parents were very selectively secretive about their money. We plan to be more open and honest, but I don't know if the kids will need to know or care about exact figures.

Earnings? No, but I definitely want to go over our budget/expenses with them, so they understand how and why we make the decisions we do. I didn't get much of a financial education from my mother, and I don't want that for any kids I have.

I don't know. Both of us grew up being aware of money and how bad things got, and I don't want that for my kids. Maybe when they are older, but I want them to know what things cost and that we have to save and be responsible.

@.twist.: Ugh that's totally inappropriate I know DH grew up super poor, but his mother did a good job of shielding him from just how bad it was so that he and his sister didn't worry about having the basics.

I just read a story on this exact thing basically arguing in favor of telling your kids: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/01/your-money/why-you-should-tell-your-kids-how-much-you-make.html?ref=business&_r=0

I do think we will be open about it when they're old enough.

@hummusgirl: Haha we both linked that article 14 seconds apart! I found it fascinating.

Wow that's a really interesting article. Kids are really visual, so I imagine that dumping all the money out onto the table and sorting it into the piles like that clicked a lot more than putting pen to paper.

@twodoghouse: Same here! We also own our business and hopefully will when A is older so I think it's important for her to understand the ins and outs of money, especially if she wants to own a small business of her own.

Also, as I got older I knew how much my mom got paid and I helped her set up her business so I was very much involvd in the financial piece in high school. It was helpful for me to see how things worked and to understand our household budget. I didn't really worry (we definitely weren't rich) but just had an understanding of the salary ranges of our family members, etc helped me understand how much the salaries certain careers offered in reality. I just liked understanding the cost of living aspect but not every child relates to that information well.

@QueensBee: Haha jinx!

@.twist.: That sounds like such a tough situation. Maybe being more open could help though, esp if kids think you're "rich" but don't understand all of the expenses that have to come out. I don't want to stress my kids out and make them think we can't afford the basics, but I also want to educate them about tradeoffs and prioritizing spending.

Wow, I am so shocked at the number of people saying they would not tell their kids what they make. Seems very very odd to me.
I'd definitely tell them if/when they ask! Just like I'd answer any other question honestly.

Eh, I'm involved with two businesses, one is a multi generational family business that my children will be involved in someday. My Mom taught me a lot from a young age since I was business savvy and good with accounting numbers. It taught me to have some of the skills I needed to start my own business. So I think it depends on the aptitude of the child.

Will they see M's paystub? Nope, not until they have the context to understand it will it be an appropriate conversation. I expect once they are applying for colleges and we have budgeted how we are going to help it will become relevant to review our household budget with them.

Probably not until they are older -- maybe 25? I had a general idea about how much my parents made but I still don't know specifics. I wish my parents would be more transparent with me so that I can plan out whether or not we need to earmark money to help with their care or not.

I just read the article, and I agree with the points about teaching financial responsibility. It doesn't change my mind though, about the context in which I answered the question, which was that we will not disclose our salary dollar amounts or savings account balances to our child. When I answered the question, it was considering that he is a 4 year old. There may be a time where it's something we would want to share with him and we'll reconsider if he asks questions.

My son is also part Swiss, talk about banking secrecy being in his blood. Maybe I have nothing to worry about?!?!?!

I don't think I will. When they are little, they won't know the difference between $25k and $50K. I'm sure after they are old (like high school & college) they'll figure it out on their own how much we make. I might have seen my parents tax return documents. If they ask, I'll give them a ball park figure. I'm just afraid that they'll start telling other friends about it and it's just not something that needs to be publicized. (I don't need to know how much my coworkers make and I don't know exactly how much my siblings make... I might be able to guess.) They will know themselves once they finish school, how much starting salaries can be and I can help them with any budgeting questions they have. They also should know that you'll make more money based on your education, work ethic and other factors. I think that's all they need to know.

One thing I learned from my trip to Vietnam two years ago is that my family who still live there make pennies compared to what we make and don't have 1/10 of the luxuries we have, but when I was there they still enjoyed life and were happy. It was very eye opening. When my kids are older, I would love to travel there to give them some perspective. Sometimes its not all about money and how much you make.

No, I don't see why they would need to know. Financial responsibility and lessons on what we can afford ie spend on what we value/ tradeoffs can be taught without dislosing a dollar amount. The only two times I can forsee needing to tell my child exactly what we make or have is for college loans and if/when my child becomes my caregiver and has to oversee my finances.

I know that I'll be talking a lot about money with my daughter. Budgeting, paying bills, saving, etc. I imagine our household income would enter into that at some point.

I think learning about the family's finances are an important part of learning how to manage money and budget and will have open conversations with my older children about our money. I assume that will include my husband's and my salaries, but I suppose it doesn't have to.

I absolutely plan to have conversations with my adult children about our financial situation. My husband and I both know about how much both sets of our parents have in retirement and other accounts and that, unless something drastic happens, they have planned well for retirement. This is important information and allows my husband and I to plan for our lives without having to also plan for our parents' futures. I think it would be even more integral to have that conversation if they had not saved enough and will need help in the future. These conversations, and those regarding end of life decisions, are so important to have now before I'm thrown in a situation that I wasn't expecting at all.

sure when they fill out their fafsa just like I did.