Same as title.. Would you? Just saw this on the news, 66% said no.
Same as title.. Would you? Just saw this on the news, 66% said no.
pomelo / 5469 posts
This is an interesting question. Over here, people are pretty reserved about how much they earn...I had no idea how much my parents earned (I knew they were comfortable, and how much our house was worth but that was it) until I was an adult and even then it was a ballpark figure my Dad told me.
I'm not really sure why kids would need to know...maybe when they are older.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
Kids can't keep their mouths shut, so no, we won't be telling our son details.
honeydew / 7091 posts
If they ever show interest, sure. It's not something I keep guarded. It would be fairly easy to figure out, anyway, not much fluctuation in our fields.
I knew how much my parents made, and DH's family is also very open with finances.
ETA: More high school age - definitely not a young kid, there's no reason a young child would need to know that information
nectarine / 2433 posts
@BandDmommy: It depends why they want to know and how old they are. All I knew growing up was that my parents both worked and that we were comfortable (nice house, yearly vacations). It wasn't until I was older, 16 or so, that my parents started to be more open about it because I was working and looking into what to take at University.
I think it can go very badly if you are just throwing around a number without the context, especially for younger children who don't necessarily understand salaries and the context.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
Maybe when they are older and have more of a concept of money. Like if they are trying to figure out careers and want to know of x amount of money is what they want for living.
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
Right now no, the don't even understand the difference between 10 and 100 or 1000. So knowing our income isn't that important. Eventually they will know like when filling out college apps and financial aid paperwork because it usually requires your parents w2.
Right now they know being a mommy doesn't make any money ( I told them they should get jobs and start paying me but they just laughed) and dad goes to work to provide for us. That's all they know.
pomelo / 5257 posts
At a young age probably not, because they won't understand it. When they get older? Sure. I actually think we're too secretive about salary info, to our own detriment. It seems like it would be easier to ensure people are getting paid fair/equal wages for their work if we were more open about it. That being said, I don't know what my parents made (they're retired now) but they know what I make.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I don't think it's important for kids to know how much their parents make. Like @looch said, kids don't know what's right or wrong to say so I could just see it getting to friends parents and our friends and our friends don't need to know what we make. I found out sometime after college what my parents made.
honeydew / 7230 posts
I think it's important to talk honestly and openly about finances, budgeting, estate planning, etc. as a family. My parents did not do that when I was growing up and were very secretive about financial things. As a result, I barely knew how to balance a checkbook before I got married. My husband's family talks a lot about finances and he has a much healthier view of money than I do/did. I want to raise our kids more like his family and talk about money in an educational way from a young age. I'm not sure how much detail we'd give about specific numbers right away, but when they are older? Sure.
kiwi / 557 posts
If they ask then I think we would tell them. Our situation is a little different because my exact salary is public record and DH is a state employee so the pay ranges are also public record, if you know his job title and years of service you could get a pretty good estimate.
nectarine / 2148 posts
I won't discuss how much money DH and I make with our kids. I grew up with very little money and was aware of it, and as a result, I felt poor. I don't think kids need to know how much or little money you have. You can teach your kids healthy money habits without telling your kids how much or little money you have. Mimicking others, maybe when they are older.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
No, I never knew how much my parent's made (still don't) and I don't feel like it was any of my business. I know we were pretty straight forward middle class and that they both worked hard for their money.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
We wouldn't hide it if they asked at an appropriate age, but probably not going to divulge it up front.
papaya / 10343 posts
I don't really fully understand the secrecy regarding wages. I'm not secretive at all about how much I/we make because I just don't see the point if it is relevant to the conversation.
That being said, I wouldn't tell our LO when she was too young to understand about being rude about money. Probably by middle school if she wanted to know-- sure.
eggplant / 11824 posts
No. Frankly, it’s none of their business and I can’t think of a good reason to tell them. Seems like a good excuse for arguing, since kids don’t have a full understanding of what everything costs and where we put our money (and why). Seems like telling them could easily lead to lots of needless “well you make enough $$ for X, Y, Z” when you say no to anything.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
No because I wouldn't want them sharing it with our friends.
pineapple / 12234 posts
Not numbers but I want them to know money doesn't grow on trees. We won't be paying for everything they want.
I never knew how much my parents made but I thought they were middle class so I tried not to ask for much. I babysat when I was 12-16 and got a job as soon as I turned 16 so I could pay for my own things. Now that I'm an adult, I realize I grew up in a very wealthy, entitled town and my parents were upper-middle class but in comparison to other families (who owned million dollar homes), money seemed tight.
pomelo / 5258 posts
I would tell my kids at 16 or so in the context of college tuition, budgeting, retirement and choosing a lucrative major (or not).
My parents shared with me at that age and explained why my dad's salary as a government employee wasn't the fortune it sounded like to 16 year old me. How my mom being a SAHM impacted their financial planning (with a positive spin). They also explained the savings plans they had for retirement would work with sending two kids to college. I really took it all to heart.
pear / 1955 posts
Probably when they're an appropriate age - I remember "helping" my dad do our taxes when I was probably 12 or 13 because it was a good practical math lesson. I can't imagine they'd really be interested enough to know before then.
pomegranate / 3643 posts
I think secrecy gives things undue power. People (generally) are secretive about their salary because they would either be embarrassed or worried it would make other people feel embarrassed. But I don't think that salary or wealth is a measure of your worth. Yes, it can be indicative of your level of education and how hard you've worked in life. But we obviously value some sectors of the economy more than others,'when often we shouldn't. So some people are underpaid through no fault of their own. I don't think it's necessarily anything to be embarrassed or proud of.
That being said, I would probably wait till middle school.
grapefruit / 4278 posts
I wouldn't tell younger kids, but maybe as teenagers. I think that it could be useful to go over the family finances with an older child to help them to understand fiscal responsibility. I wish my parents had taught me how to handle my money better.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Not until they are older, because I'm sure it would sound like a ton of money to my kids and they wouldn't understand why we couldn't give them X or Y. A hundred bucks is a lot of money to a child. Let alone getting into 5 and 6 figures. And they'd blab to their friends for sure.
Once they're older, I want them to understand where a salary of X goes--I want them to know that we started out making A and that after 20 years, we now make B. We make this, and this is what we spend on groceries, the mortgage, bills, etc...I think that's important. There are so many expenses I don't think they'd realize there are!
My parents were incredibly secretive with us. Because they were very well off. Money is/was power to them. They still brag about spending X on their vacations in a sort of gross way. But i didn't really have a good grasp on money until I started to have my own salary and have my own bills. I feel like there has to be an in-between.
grapefruit / 4187 posts
Not until we start talking about giving them $ for a down payment or handling our estate. My parents didn't tell us until this point in our lives and it worked really well.
pomegranate / 3577 posts
I wouldn't until they understand what it means to work and have debt. So maybe after college, ha! A middle-schooler or even a high school student would think our income is high, but it isn't when framed in the context of our debts.
eggplant / 11408 posts
@twodoghouse: I agree with all of this. I think it is important that they know.
eggplant / 11716 posts
Yes! I totally plan to be very open about finances. I just read an article about this that really cemented how I already felt. Basically, I think it's good for children to realize where your money goes and why--it's a good tool to help them realize financial responsibility.
On paper, it kind of looks like DH and I make a lot of money--but we could easily sit down with (older) children and show them how much we contribute to 401ks and RothIRAs and tell them why those are important (so they don't have to take care of us). Then we can show them how much we contribute to savings and college funds and explain the importance of that. Then we can show them our mortgage and bills, food expenses, general family expenses, savings for vacations for the whole family--and soon they will realize that after all those things are done, there's not much left!
I think it's a good tool to keep kids from being ungrateful or for requesting ridiculous things like a new iphone6 at the age of 12 before they would likely be able to take care of a $500 phone.
grapefruit / 4187 posts
@blackbird: my parents were also very secretive because they were well off! You would never know it though because they lived (and still live) very modestly. What you said about giving your kids practical financial knowledge makes a lot of sense though! I am now rethinking my approach.
honeydew / 7091 posts
@Anagram: I totally agree. While I knew how much my parents made, I didn't know ANY of that other stuff. I grew up with such bad money management problems (to be fair my parents had their own money management issues), and it's taken quite a while to shift my mindset about finances.
honeydew / 7303 posts
Maybe when they are teenagers and thinking about career choices. Otherwise I don't see it coming up in conversation naturally
eggplant / 11716 posts
Also because, my parents were very conservative financially and my dad always drove junker cars and was really tight with money, so I just always assumed we were on the poor side. When he got sick and I knew he was going to pass away, I worried for the whole 2 years how my mom and my little sister would survive financially. My mom never wanted to talk real financial details and I just assumed they would be destitute (since my dad was the major breadwinner).
When my dad actually passed, I finally got my mom to sit down and tell me the overall financial situation and I was blown away by how much money she would have--in cash savings, plus my dad's retirement accounts, plus an annuity from his company, plus her own retirement--and then I knew SS would kick in 5 years down the road.
All my worry for 2 years was completely unnecessary. Grr...why aren't parents more open with their kids? I just don't get it.
pineapple / 12802 posts
No. Absolutely not. It is an adult affair that they cannot fully wrap their heads around.
This is seriously one of my biggest pet peeves ever. My husbands ex tells their 2 boys EVERYTHING about her finances. How much her bills are, how she can't afford gas for her car (but can get an extra large coffee and have her nails done weekly).
The amount of stress it has put on my oldest step-son is insane. He's constantly worried about her finances and about her being able to afford cereal from the grocery store. It's also made them say things like "well, our mom told us that you have 2 people making money and that you own your own company so you make lots of money and our mom doesn't have much money so you should pay her more".
Absofuckinglutely not.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
@Modern Daisy: And i kinda see where they were coming from--my dad retired in his 40's so they were comfortable beyond what I could fathom, but talking about investing money in CDs or interest rates and making their money grow for them, investment properties, all those other things could have been valuable....I vaguely knew they were important when I graduated, but I didn't really have a tangible grasp on it. Even just the basics of "this is what it costs to feed a family. We have more money, but we choose to save it for these reasons" would have been a valuable lesson. I just think there could have been some middle ground so that I knew what sort of bills to expect. I was so clueless and I, embarrassingly, struggled with what should have been a comfortable salary. What if I hadn't had such a good degree under my belt? I mean, people feed a family of 4 on that kind of money. And I don't want my kids to think that money is power or a control item over them, so I want to lay it out relatively factually when they're at an age to understand that we have these bills, why they're important, what my 401K is, why we put extra money into an IRA account....But even now, I'm the sole inheritor of their trust and the most I can get out of them is "Call my accountant when we die. He knows everything". I feel terribly unprepared for what will inevitably happen. I'm the kind of person who would send my kids instructions But again, we are talking adult conversations with "kids" who are basically adults at this point!
nectarine / 2148 posts
@blackbird: I intend on using your approach to things. I only know how much my dad makes because of how we talk about how to handle finances and career goals. He only started discussing it with me though when I was in college and could better understand and apply it to my life. He discussed investments and if you make X amount, this is what your bills look like, you should put away Y amount. He would also discuss money from a career objective. When working for this job I made X amount and because I switched and was able to ask for more I now make Y amount, etc. Again though, I am sure if my dad talked about this to be pre-college I would be w/e about it.
pomelo / 5257 posts
This is really interesting -- money is always such a weird topic. And reading the responses, I feel like people are looking at it from different interpretations of what "kids" means. I took it as just generally meaning my (future) children, not necessarily when they're small, though. Would I tell a five-year-old what I make? No, because it's not relevant or important to them. But I also doubt a five-year-old would ask. But yeah, high school-age children, I would definitely tell. I think it's good preparation for the real world to know, "You're interested in xx type of job -- here's the kind of lifestyle you would have," so in that context I don't see why I would be secretive about it.
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
@clover: we are in the same boat my husband is a government employee on the GS pay scale so if they know his job anyone can know his salary.
@.twist.: that just sounds awful. I don't think things like that should be discussed with young kids. We do say things like that's too expensive for right now, or we are saving for that but a child should not have to worry about food
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