Hi, I'm wondering how others are negotiating work from home when both parents have demanding jobs. As it currently stands, DH and I check in every morning and discuss meeting schedules/how we think the day is going to go and decide who will care for the baby (4 months) at what times during the day. Usually it works out that I have her in the morning and he does for at least part of the afternoon, but for example, I had a call with the president of my organization at 10 today, so he agreed to take lead this morning and I took the afternoon. Inevitably, though, DH has trouble getting DD to sleep, complains to me about not being able to get work done, and hands her off after about 2-3 hours even though every morning the plan is to split 50/50.
This morning he had her from 8-11, and from 10-11 all she did is scream, which, incidentally, was through my important call. I'm sure that if I hadn't been on with the president when he came upstairs to rock her at 10:15 he would have asked me to take her, because she wasn't letting him get work done. When I went downstairs after my call he had her out of the carrier to hand off before I was all the way down the stairs, talking about how if I feel like I'm at a place where I can care for her it would be so helpful to him. I looked him in the eyes and said we're both in the same place and eventually you need to figure out how to make this work because I have to work, too, which was not well received. I do think DD falls asleep more easily with me, and I hate hearing her cry, but at some point he just needs to figure stuff out (especially since it looks like our state is in this for the long haul) and I feel like if I keep bailing him out it's doing us both a disservice.
How have others adapted? Has there been anything that's worked in terms of making a partner see that they aren't going to be as productive, but they still need to pull half the weight? Maybe I should just start complaining all the time like he does?