Hellobee Boards

Not very true for either of us IMO. There have been very few times when either of us have been tasked with obligations for the other's family. Since we don't live terribly close to anyone we don't interact enough to build a relationship and create a sense of duty. We both have been comfortable doing things solo with our own families. We probably could have done a better job endearing ourselves, but we married each other and that's it.

I remember having to set expectations with my mom about DH. If you invite us over that doesn't mean you can give him a honey do list of house chores.

ETA: we see my dad a lot probably 2-3 month, but the relationship DH has with him is really on DH's terms.

Very true for my husband, we see my family at least once a month, spend all holidays with them, stay at their house for a few days a few times every summer. Not at all for me, half of his family lives in England and we see them once a year and the other half lives in the US and I've met them once.

I think it's true.

Even though we live far from our families, I think the way we were raised has made us enter marriage and parenthood with certain expectations/beliefs/coping mechanisms/traditions, etc. My husband is exceedingly patient and hands on with our kids, and I know he gets that from his parents. But also, he's not that demonstrative in terms of romantic affection by western standards, and I think that's cultural as well. I mean, he's WAY more demonstrative than his parents, who would never hold hands or hug publicly, for example. It's just different.

I know he feels the same way about me---sometimes when we have a disagreement and he doesn't know certain American traditions are a thing, it really causes me to examine why I care so much, and usually it's purely because that's what my parents did, not because it's something I really believe in.

It's eye opening.

Well, it wasn't until we moved in with my in-laws last year. Now there isn't a day that goes by without someone needing something. I know that if if was the other way around, DH would be going as crazy as I am.

Very true? Our families are all local... My parents actually moved closer just so my mom can help out with childcare more. I'm very close with my family, and my mom sees DH way more than me since they're the ones that handle childcare/drop offs/pick ups and I WOH FT.

His family is bigger and we don't see them as much, but we're close too b/c DD1's cousin is 2 weeks older so we do a lot of things together.

Not very true for us. We've almost always lived far away from both of our families. Even the 9 months we lived with my ILs, I didn't feel like we were that close. Of course, we would help one another out and had a mostly good relationship with them, but I didn't feel like they became my best friends. Luckily, we have maintained a pretty positive relationship with everyone despite the distance, but I wouldn't say we are super close.

This has been true for us, and I think we see it more and more as time goes by and our families go through hard times and big changes. Mostly fil's illness and death, but also our having children kind of flipped things because we went from being very flexible and accommodating to having new priorities/putting lo and her needs and schedule first.

I feel like I first became part of dh's family after fil was diagnosed with cancer before dh and I were even engaged--it was a really difficult diagnosis (he lived much longer than expected) and luckily we lived near them at the time, and so both ended up dropping things and being there for his parents. But, since fil passed away last year, we've been in a really transitional time with mil and sil and I think I'm also really learning more and more about their family dynamics and seeing things differently/more deeply. His family is very formal and emotionally distant with each other, and I don't think I really understood the depths of that distance (if that makes sense? haha) until recently as we're figuring out new boundaries. We don't live in the same city anymore, and with lo it's harder to drop everything to be there, which I feel like mil and sil expect.

My family is really different than dh's, and dh is definitely part of the family. We have an easier, more unconditional relationship with my parents, which is great although I think the comparison to mil is difficult. Dh has an independent relationship with my parents too, which is awesome--like he and my dad email back and forth and sometimes go to dinners together.

That has held so true for both me & H. Our parents genuinely enjoy spending time together and will do things without us once a month or so. I love H's sisters and their husbands as well. Our nieces & nephews are an absolute joy and consider my parents "bonus" grandparents. My brother passed away about a year after our wedding but he & H were fond of each other despite the difference in age. When my dad retired, my parents moved across the country to be near us so now on holidays, we are one big happy family. It's kinda weird in a way when I mention it to people but I feel very fortunate to have the love and support of H's family

Very true for both sides. Our families aren't bad but we can literally see his parents from our windows so the frequency in which we see them takes a toll. He doesn't like spending too much time with either side (or anyone for that matter, he's definitely an introvert!) but I adore seeing my family. I'm certain I'd enjoy seeing my in laws more if it wasn't something that happened daily. I do adore my BIL and SIL and niece but we see them once every 2 months or so.