My DD is 11 weeks old and up until last week would only sleep in bed with me. I tried her in various other places and she might stay asleep for a few minutes to up to 30 minutes but never longer. Last week we started trying to put her in her crib for naps to varying degrees of success - sometimes she wouldn't sleep at all, other times she'd do 20 minutes, a few times she did an hour.

Then we started trying her in the crib for at least a stretch at night and the first night she slept 5 hours - her longest stretch ever, anywhere! She repeated it the next 2 nights. But then she started doing a shorter and shorter stretch each night, until tonight she woke 45 minutes after going down.

The thing is, she doesn't cry when she wakes up. She just kind of turns her head from side to side repeatedly and sucks on her fist. Sometimes I've waited to see if she'll fall back asleep, and sometimes she has. Other times she hasn't and then I go in and either nurse or rock her back to sleep or bring her into bed with me if she's too fussy or wide awake.

The thing is my husband and I disagree about when I should go in to her. He thinks as long as she isn't crying I should just leave her. But if it's been 15 to 20 minutes and she isn't resettling, she's so young I feel like I should help her back to sleep so that she DOES sleep and doesn't get overtired. She isn't crying, but leaving her alone to try to settle herself feels akin to "crying it out" to me.

Tonight when she woke after 45 minutes and didn't seem to be settling back down I asked DH to go pat her back or rock her and he said no. That we should leave her to work it out. An argument ensued when I went to settle her shortly after.

What do you think? Is it still like crying it out if there's no crying? Is 11 weeks too young to let her try to soothe herself?