My in-laws are so, so generous. They've been sensible with money their whole life so they're in a good position now - but they're not rolling in it by any means. Yet they give us so, so much....
In the last year alone, they have:
- Given us a big lump of cash to help us to buy our first house
- Paid for our furniture to be stored when our house purchase was delayed.
- Paid for the suits and the flowers for the wedding - and gave us £1000 cash to help with "miscellaneous wedding stuff".
- Paid for us to go away for a few days for our birthdays
- Gave DH their second car because "they no longer needed it" and his car was about to give up.
- Paid DH's university fees for his part time course.
- Bought us a new laptop, just because we needed one.
- They are paying for our hotel for BIL's wedding - which is £800 (£1600 for them and us) because we are staying in Central London for 4 nights.
All this in addition to:
- Looking after our dogs whenever we need them to
- FIL helped DH to rebuild our conservatory and widen our loft hatch last summer
- They let us stay with them when our house purchase was delayed - and cooked us dinner every day!
- Have offered to look after our baby twice a week when I go back to work - for free.
Now they want to buy us a new tumble dryer and a dish washer for our birthdays this year (our birthdays are a week apart).
I'm so, so grateful. But it also makes me feel weird. It's just not what I've grown up with.....
.... My mum never had any money when I was growing up and used to go through the phone bill highlighting numbers she didn't recognise and adding VAT, producing a bill to be paid out of my pocket money! When I was 19 (and living in a virtually derelict flat share), my washing machine broke and, when I took my clothes to her house to wash, she told me she would be charging me for the electricity - and I wasn't allowed to use her soap powder!! It actually worked out cheaper to use the laundrette, which was a 3 mile walk away - a walk I did with bags of laundry for months, until I could afford a new washing machine! I'm not angry with her for any of that - she could barely feed herself, never mind bailing out a grown up daughter. Now she's 63, my mum thinks of herself as "elderly" and our roles have completely reversed - she comes to me for help and advice. I drive her places because she doesn't drive, I'm on hand to cover her bills if she can't (which is rare).... and she thinks of me as "rich" because I no longer live in poverty.
So, yeah, I struggle with how much my inlaws give us. I keep saying to DH that I don't know how to pay them back - and he says that we don't have to because this is what parents do. But it's not my understanding of what parents do...!
Are your parents or inlaws generous? Does it make you feel a bit guilty??