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DH is 1/4 Japanese, his dad was born in Japan, but his grandfather is white. DH is close with his grandmother who keeps us all in close contact with family in Japan, and DH speaks Japanese, but even so, I believe he still usually checks the "white" box if there is no "other" option. I have asked him before if he identifies more as Asian or white, and he didn't really have a full answer for me. Maybe it's because he looks sort of racially-ambiguous: a lot of people think he's white and Latino or Italian. It was interesting when our daughters were born, my ILs made lots of comments about how Asian they look. I think they look like a mixture, and it's cool to see which features they have from each of us. My oldest has more almond-shaped eyes than my youngest, and my youngest has darker coloring.
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@Raindrop: That was me as a child. My mom was so worried about it for years. I eventually got the 2nd lid though its not as big but my childhood photos look just like that except my one eye was really big and the other really small so it was ever a starker contrast.
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My son is half Indonesian (DH, well he's Indonesian and an eighth Irish)/half white (I'm a mix of Greek Portuguese English & German).
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: I have a personal family friend who is half white, half black. She has blonde hair, pale skin, and green eyes. She has many of her dads physical characteristics, but totally received her mom's coloring. I've always found it very interesting. Both of their kids identify as mixed race, but I assume society thinks they are white.
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@plantains: that makes no sense to me either. At least braid it up before you actually change the texture of the hair if you truly are at a loss as to what to do with it.
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I am half white / half Cuban. I identify more as white because of how I was raised but I do feel like a "person of color" because of how others perceive me. I don't feel very Hispanic because I don't speak Spanish & was not raised with a strong connection to the culture.
My husband is black & our daughter is black. Technically she is 1/4 white 1/4 Cuban 1/2 black... But she looks black & I hope she is proud to be black. I will be more than fine if she only identifies as black. I don't think it takes away from her connection to all of her family. What if she were adopted? I don't think it's much different. Her family is her family... But the fact is that in America, she will be categorized as black & I think that's a-okay even though I'm not.
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@littlejoy: is the father of the children bi-racial too?
back to celebs Zoe Kravitz is half black & half white. Both her parents are bi-racial.
Tamera Mowry is bi-racial and her son is a quarter black because her husband is white. The baby looks mixed race to me. Paula Patton & Robin Thicke's son has the same make up and their son looks white to me.
It's amazing how race can really be about perception.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: No, the father is black. Mother is white. Neither are bi-racial.
Our neighbor (she's asian) told me that her husband constantly gets asked if their girls are adopted (he's white), because they look very Asian. The nerve of some people!!!
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@Mrs. Chocolate: Aww your mom was worried!? That's cute. I think since LO is a boy... I don't really think much of it. Good to hear another story that they will eventually even out though. Thanks!
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@daniellemybelle: is your Cuban family white Cuban or black Cuban? Celia Cruz would be a black Cuban? Gloria Estefan would be a white Cuban? Or does the constructs of race not apply in this case. I'm so confused when it comes to Hispanics. Some people look like what I consider a Latino, but those folks may actually identify as white?
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My kids are half Chinese/half white. Most people think they are full Chinese. I am guessing that they'll probably identify more with their Chinese side because of their looks and because we've chosen for them to learn the language, Mandarin.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: We are like a Gloria Estefan & Celia Cruz love child family
The term often used is "mulatto." Cuba is a melting pot with many races & skin tones! My family does not identify as black at all although we have African ancestry for sure. There are some Cubans who do identify as black, or white, though, because of their skin tone.
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@Raindrop: Yes my mom is a typical Asian mom with some weird hang ups so it comes to no surprise to me she was worried about this kind of thing. She use to call me something in Chinese that implied it was kind of like those dogs with one large patch around their eye and not the other making them look disproportionate? Not sure if Im making sense now lol Its typical Asian stuff so I know she wasnt being mean just blunt honest in that Asian way
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BTW Sorry for highjacking this thread a bit OP!
@Mrs. Chocolate: LOL so asian... I was kind of a chubby kid... and my mom use to call me pork bun in Chinese... not in an adorable cute nick name way but in a you are fat way! Such is the Asian way.
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For GOMI readers:
1) this thread was not inspired by Mike Brown, who afterall was not even bi-racial. It was like I stated inspired a real & recent convo with my friend. The convo just so happened to coincide within days of Officer Darren Wilson's indictment decision.
2) yes, I have bought into the "one drop rule" hook, line and sinker. A new episode of PBS "Finding Your Roots" aired last night and challenged much of how race was conceived in the US. The program was fascinating as well as my friend's concern for her son's sense of racial identity.
3) thank you for knowing my writing style well enough that "baby mamas" is a bit out of character for me. That was my attempt at being playful. I did think twice about it because originally that phrase is often used to characterize unmarried women with children. My actual thread question was a bit heavy, so I was aiming for a lighthearted thread title. -
i don't have a mixed race baby (yet) but my husband is half japanese. he 100% identifies exclusively as white because of how he is raised. he literally forgets he is japanese and barely acknowledges it. i think it's such a shame because his family has been through so much and japanese canadian culture is so beautiful. i really hope we can infuse some Japanese pride into our little one, even if it's just me doing it!
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where I'm from, people who are half black half white identify (and are identified) as coloured - a word that I know is offensive in the UK (where I live) but isn't at home. And that mix of race (coloured) is a race - on our forms you'd tick black, coloured, white, indian, asian, other. So weird cos those are usually the only options, and here in the UK you can tick one or more of about twenty different racial groups. so interesting
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: My mom is black and my dad is white, and my sister and I look more white. Most people think I'm Hispanic or Spanish, and my sister is much paler than I am, but she has coarse hair like my mom. We definitely identified more as white. But we have friends who have a white mother and black father, and they look more black and identified as black. So at least in these instances, the skin color of the father is more dominant in the children, and I realize that this is highly unscientific, but it's just my experience.
H is 1/4 black and 3/4 white, but she has my darker skin and curly hair with all of her dad's features (seriously, their baby pictures are identical except H is really tan). I think it's so interesting to see how different ethnicities play out in people's features.
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@plantains: my daughter is black, Asian and Native American. People can't always identify her since she has the most interesting straight hair, Asian eyes and mocha skin. Everyone guesses wrong, but as soon as I tell people what she is, they identify her as black...
We are giving her a good foundation in all her cultures but making sure she's really plugged into the African American community. Because she "passes", it's all the more important!
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DS is half Korean, half Caucasian (Polish/German).
He very much looks like an Asian baby with some Caucasian features. We surround him equally in both cultures, whether it's language, food, etc. I have a strong feeling that he'll be among many mixed race kids as he is growing up (common around our area). I hope that he strongly identifies with both sides of his ethnicity/culture.
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@imbali: what, wait coloured is offensive in the UK?! I was insulted to my face recently. A colleague of mine is British and she was describing a customer of hers as a "coloured man". I thought it was weird to say, but chalked it up as a norm in the UK. Guess not.
@avivoca: one of my SILs is half black (MIL) and half white (SFIL) she reminds me of Alicia Keys- skin tone, curly hair, ethnic looking, but not necessarily Latina. Most of my bi-racial friends picked up their black parent's color either fair, but not white or light skinned to brown skinned. However, the hair texture for the most part followed the father except for one I distinctly remember. One girl with a black mom and white dad permed her hair in elementary school and swore I'd have to get one too b/c I was 100% black.
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DS is a 1/4 Japanese (I am half and DH is white). I look mix and people sometimes think I'm Hispanic, Middle Eastern or Chinese. The awesome questions, "what are you/where you from?" always gets asked. I have always identified as being Asian than white. DS will undoubtedly have strong ties to his Japanese culture thanks to my mom, who is from Japan. In terms of looks, DS does not look Asian at all (there are some traits here or there like his nose) - but overall he is a blonde haired, blue-eyed baby just like DH. I think he will grow up identifying himself with both cultures.
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: maybe one of the born and bred UK bees can chime in and let us know - i was just told on arrival by all the safas i know that it was offensive (cos it's normal for us to say) and that i shouldn't use it here!
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@imbali: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Not English myself, but lived in the UK for a few years and my husband is English. I have heard the term "coloured" used in the UK, albeit very, very rarely - and usually by an older person.
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@imbali: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: YES! It's a horrible, derogatory word! It basically lumps everyone who isn't white into one "non-white" category. Coloured. Never mind that the 20% of people in this country who are not white belong to a whole host of communities and more; they have varied and beautiful cultures, rich histories and their own, self-defined identities. Never mind all that, though, because they can be lumped into one group and catagorised by one fairly meaningless marker: their skin and it's indiscriminate lack of whiteness.
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@meredithNYC: Yeah, you do still hear it from much older people sometimes..... mind, my Grandma used to refer to black people as "darkies". Just coz she was old, it didn't make it okay!
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@plantains: Now I must see a pic of your LO, or figure out which LO is yours!
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: wth? Did this thread get called out on GOMI?
Sad. Honestly, I feel like a major part of how mixed children grow to identify themselves with is how the mother does. Where we live, there are tons of mixed Asian/Caucasian babies. Usually if the mom is the Asian one, I feel like they really stay connected to their culture and expose the children to the food, language, customs, etc. I've known a couple of mixed African-American girls who had non-AA mothers and didn't stay with their dads. They both clearly identified more with their mothers' cultures. I know moms who have mixed kids, but don't really stay connected to their own backgrounds (don't speak the language, eat the food, etc.) and the LOs will/did basically grow up being "American" or identifying more with Caucasians.
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@Cherrybee: @meredithNYC: @imbali: the woman is no older than 60. I don't think she meant anything rude when she said it, but if it's not a nice word even over the pond she's young enough to know not to use IMO.
@shopaholic: lol, yeah. I'm unoriginal, brainwashed, and offensive
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@daniellemybelle: I've been following this but haven't chimed in because our situation doesn't really fit, but I agree with your point. My son is going to identify 100% black (because he is) and that doesn't change the connection with us or his birth family. Your family is your family.
@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: recently I had an older man stop me in a restaurant and before he even got into his story I knew it was going to be about Zay being black. He was so excited though and burst out and said "we have a brand new grandbaby who is colored too!". I was horrified because he didn't mean to be offensive and he was clearly so in love with his grandbaby. I had no idea how to handle it and decided to be polite and say "congratulations!" and walk away. I still don't know how to handle this. I was so stunned.
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@Mrs. Polish: awe he was excited! In the US, at least, colored was the politically correct, polite term. But, people need to get with the program. Lol
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@shopaholic: I should post pics more often, if has been a while haha.
The term often used is "mulatto." Cuba is a melting pot with many races & skin tones! My family does not identify as black at all although we have African ancestry for sure. There are some Cubans who do identify as black, or white, though, because of their skin tone.
Sad. 
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