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@mrskm129: I also wanted to mention, that I know it seems difficult now, but there's a whole other level to things when you begin to have kids in school. I have a kid in kinder and it's been quite a shock to my routine. I used to just kind of go on autopilot, but now, there are things I need to make time for during the day and week that truly make it complex. I don't mean to minimize what you're going through AT ALL, but the truth is, it's going to get harder before it gets better.

As long as you're willing to make changes and tweaks as you go along, you'll be fine. You need to get into that headspace.

Some great things have been mentioned! We are going to try for a second child as well and i feel the same as you...how can we manage?! One thing that helps us especially with the dog and exercise part is that one of us walks the dog while the other does bath and bed. Every night, without fail. This kills two birds with one stone: exercise for us, dog doesn't go insane from lack of walks. We alternate walks in the mornings too so he always has two walks per day. DW takes him right away in the morning while I get DS and I ready. We did have a dog walker previously which was worth every penny but we are trying to save money now and it's been going well. Also, maybe not possible but we do staggered schedules two days a week. I go 11-7 pm and the things I can get done those two mornings are crazy! I usually vacuum and sweep one morning, bathrooms and laundry the other morning. We tidy each night and are relaxing by 8...our house is still not how I like it but good enough. I meal plan on weekends and grocery shop. Our son is nearly 2.5 and is in bed at 7:30. Dinner is 6 pm, I'm home at 5. Moving dinner and bed a half hour later has saved us so much, as well as moving closer to work so our commute is 20 mins versus the hour we used to have. Not all these things are possible but things to think about long term for work schedules and commutes, especially if you add a second.

@gotkimchi: Our PTO will put events on at night, during the week. We had an math event just last week, it was at 6:15 pm. I don't want my son to miss out, but at the same time, I don't want the routine to be so messed up that I can't recover! That night, for example, we weren't home until past bedtime.

I will also go to the PTO sponsored events once a month, to hear about what's going on in the school, plus hear about special programming. I also gave 4 tours to prospective parents between November and January.

Then there's showing up for mystery reader a couple times during the year and I'm also the room parent. So I get to coordinate special activities, collect money, etc.

Our school is brand new, so there are really no evening assemblies, like concerts and that sort of thing, but add that and sports in, and it gets hectic.

@looch: @gotkimchi: Agree! Having school age is another ball game!

1. How will you handle after school activities? Even things like sports/dance/etc or special programs at the school. Most of these things fall once a week in the evenings. We typically have been splitting up, so one of us goes to the event with DD or if its a parent/PTO event, I will go with the baby.

2. Homework and reading! I posted earlier about how to practice reading with kids with a hectic schedule and sadly a lot agreed its just hard and often gets dropped. 20 min of reading doesn't sound like a lot but when you only have from 5:30-7:30 to fit in dinner and baths and clean up, its hard to devote a parent to sit 1:1 with them for school help. We are finding some creative ways to fit it in. Like in the car pool line

3. Schedules. School age has different schedules typically. Luckily our school allows for 7:45 drop off and DH works only 10 minutes away. He usually gets in the office just a bit late. This allows for us not to have to pay for before school care but we do pay for after school care.

6:30 am DH gets up, showers. I get up, didn't shower
6:45 DD1 and DS get up, this was sleeping in for them, they are often up at like 6:15. They turn on TV and sit down with pancakes (pre-made) and yogurt.
7:00 we are done getting ready and go to the kitchen to start packing bags. 3 kid backpacks (the baby needs the most stuff with 5 diapers, pour her four bottles and any solids). 1 kindergarten lunch box (we try to pack the night before but doesn't always happen. We use the EasyLunch Box sets). My pump bag, DH and my lunch bags. One of us in the kitchen and the other starts getting big kids ready.
7:15 Carry bags to car, get kids shoes on, brush teeth, get baby up and dressed.
7:25 - I leave with baby and DS.
7:30 DH leaves with DD1 to get in drop off line so he can be in front of line for 7:45 drop off.
8:00 we both arrive at work.
5:00 We leave work
5:20 - DH arrives home with DD1. They have about 10 minutes to start dinner.
5:45 I arrive home with little kids. Lots of bags to unpack
We split up and one of us takes the kids to play, the other starts dinner.
6:15 diner
6:30 Done with dinner, clean up kitchen, play for a short bit.
7:00 Baby goes down, I nurse her. DH starts teeth with other two
7:15 - 2 books, prayers and lights out for big kids. Usually done by 7:45.
8:00 final clean up of house, pack stuff for tomorrow.
8:30 watch tv or I usually am ready to crawl into bed (baby still getting up twice a night).

@T.H.O.U.: It was kind of a rude awakening. I was used to just doing the same thing every day. I did a super early drop off for my son at my mom's and came home every day at the same time. Now it's a jumble and I can barely remember what day I am supposed to do what.

We made do with just one but with another one now and me going back to work in a month.. I'm so anxious about how we'll get everything done! I think #1 is that my expectations will have to be lowered once again haha.

We don't have money in the budget to hire cleaners, so I think I just have to be even more disciplined with how I do things now...

1) We don't bathe every night. That def cuts out 15 min to half an hour every night. In the winter we bathe even less; and in the summer we still may not always bathe nightly but give thorough wipe downs.

2) After they go to bed, I just have to get out (currently we each stay in the room with 1 kid till they are asleep). No slacking around looking at my phone. I do a super quick clean up of the living room (as much as we ask our 2 yr old to clean up, it's not perfect). DH cooks and will try to do dishes between dinner/bed time but whoever gets out first will finish dishes. I'll do a wipe down of dining room/kitchen. Pick up/tidy anything else that need to. Then it's prepping for the next day. THEN I try to spread out chores to do through out the week whether it be laundry, mopping or cleaning bathrooms. I try not to have chores on weekend nights to give myself a break

My lunch hour at work is usually spent paying bills, making appointments, or buying household stuff at Target, etc. So at least I'm productive in that manner when I WOH.

There really isn't a good balance... But I get really stressed out and can't enjoy myself if my house is dirty/messy and if my chores aren't done, so I guess I don't mind only having 30 min to myself at the end of night if it means sitting in a clean/organized house~

Im surprised how many of you can cook/clean after the kids go to bed. We have a 1 story house but too much banging around and they can hear us! So we have to keep it pretty quiet once they go to bed. Making lunches is hard enough sometimes

@T.H.O.U.: Yeah we live in a single story house but we run white noise machines and humidifiers in their rooms and they don't seem to hear much - at least in that initial stretch of deep sleep. Early morning is another issue - if one of us even pees we hear our toddler babbling in his bed.

Love reading everyone's suggestions!

I would love to hear what your favorite meals to "batch cook" are - things that can go straight into the freezer.

I love my crock pot but can't use it on work days - if I put something in at 7am, by the time we eat at 5:30 or 6 it would be mush.

@mrs. toad have considered that (or a programmable crock pot) but don't want meat sitting out for 4-5 hours on the counter in the crock pot at room temp

@MrsADS: they make new crockpots that are WiFi enabled so you can stop it from cooking remotely or start it a few hours after you leave! cool right?!

The meals I make ahead that will keep are: lasagna, shepherds pie, chili, and meat sauce.

@gingerbebe: does you roomba work? I want one to help us with cleaning but have heard mixed reviews

I second everything that everyone else has said. Mostly, I would drastically lower my expectations, and I would hire as much help as I could reasonably afford. Can you hire a dog walker (or a neighborhood teen) to come over in the evening or the afternoon and walk the dog? Can you get a housekeeper? Can you send your laundry out to be washed and folded? The dog walking I would especially do, unless the walk is good exercise for you.

I would also drastically lower my expectations for food. An avocado and an english muffin is a wonderful meal! Add some fruit and milk and you've got a great, complete meal. I'd be eating stuff like that myself, honestly. I would eat whatever the healthiest, cheapest, easiest food possible was. I would probably make a list of 10 very easy meals, pick 5 each week, and just rotate each week. Really simple protein/veg/starch stuff that you can set up in a crock pot or a rice cooker or on a roasting pan in 3 minutes each morning. Or maybe just a lot of really easy stuff from trader joe's. I would use a crock pot and a rice cooker every single day.

I would also find any way possible to get in 15 minutes of exercise in the morning, because I need that for my mental health. I love the NYT's 7 minute workout app, I just do it twice. Or 10 minutes of jumproping and 5 minutes of pushups. My mental health requires it, and for me, it would be well worth 15 minutes less sleep.

does anyone have specific recs for a wifi-enabled crock pot? this thread has inspired me to make better use of my morning time to tackle our dinnertime problems!

I havent read the whole thread but I think these threads are great for resources - so I'm adding my two cents then will go back and read all the responses over the day!

DH and I both have demanding jobs - fortunately we are both at points in our careers where we can be flexible. We have two girls, 3.5 and 1 year. I do drop offs M-F at 8am, I pick up 3 days and get home at 5:45pm those nights. DH picks up two days and I get home at 5:10pm those nights. My little one goes to bed at 7 (process starts) and my older one is right after. Here is what works for us:

1) I prep the crap out of food on Sunday. All my breakfasts, snacks and lunches. All the parts of dinners I can.

2) I plan at least 2 hands off meals, this can mean crock pot, casserole or DH BBQing. This way I have two nights where its basically done when I walk in the door. If I worry about the girls eating our meals that week I make a separate casserole for them (Mac, Spaghetti Bake, something easy I can have on the table for them quickly throughout the week).

3) The nights DH picks up I use my extra 35 mins to: 1) get a dinner going, 2) throw in some laundry, 3) pick up. Its amazing what I can get done with 35 mins alone in my house!

4) when the kids go to bed I try to stay productive. Some nights I have to work (half my team sits in Asia so 9pm conf calls work great) but others I use it to fold laundry, clean the kitchen, pick up, prep tomorrows dinner, workout, etc.

5) I go to bed early - DH and I are in bed at 10pm. This makes me getting up at 5/5:30am easier. My girls usually sleep til 6:30am so thats another 1-1.5hrs. Granted I am getting ready for some of it.

6) Dry Shampoo...gives me so much time back.

7) Meal services for busy weeks. If we have a busy weekend and grocery shopping is not an option we will use HomeChef to have meals delivered.

DH and I plan to hiring a cleaning lady this summer. And this will be the first year we hire a lawn service to mow our grass. We will likely hire a service for just 1 time a month and see how that goes.

As others have mentioned - this phase to me is about enjoying the ride - not trying to be perfect.

@nellywm: mine is a "WeMo" enabled Crock Pot brand. I love it.

You can also get a WeMo outlet. It plugs into your regular outlet and you plug an appliance into it. Then you can control the power to the appliance remotely. So, if you had a crock pot that was not digital, but had a knob to turn, you could plug that into the WeMo outlet, turn the crock pot on low (or whatever) then wait until noon before you turned on the outlet. So the crockpot wouldn't start until you turned on the outlet.

@looch: just looking at this thread now and agree agree...And my older isn't even in kinder! Just pre k. But there are theme days and parties and sports etc. I blew up at my husband a few times this year for forgetting to check the cubby and missing a key communication on his pickup day. I think the trick is just having a family culture that prioritizes what matters (this is individual of course) Dress up day at school may have to be just the basic ears and a hat vs. Pinterest. Our kid does pull out soccer instead of after school soccer. Etc etc.

@looch: Yes and my wonderful mom was a SAHM who did pinterest style things before pinterest was a thing. She always tells me, "You dont want your daughter to be the kid that is missing out or left out because you weren't prepared".