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@simplyfelicity: That's good. Waiting until 12 weeks...even with both of my pregnancies being m/c...would have been awful!
@ValentineMommy: I'm excited that you're excited this cycle. I would be "preventing" at this point...except that the odds are totally against us conceiving on our own.
@jaguar: I very much know the feeling. At this point, I'm not monitoring...just waiting.
I still don't have the chromosome results back from my D+C, still waiting for that. Tomorrow (I think) I'm going to go have my HCG level drawn again, to document for my RE that it fell to "0". In other news, I joined a yoga studio yesterday (1-month trial membership) and did a Flow class yesterday. It was fun...and I'm a little stiff and sore now, but not too bad. Overall, I'm having a much better week than last week.
BTW-- look out! There are actually 2 Ms Badger(s)... On with a period after "Ms", one without. Their avatars are also different colors (green vs. red)...
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@FliegepilzHut: I'm very excited - and scared. We'll see what happens! That's great you joined a yoga studio - I think it will definitely help you destress a bit! Good luck with your chromosomal tests - I hope they give you some answers.
WTF? 2 Ms Badgers??!
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@2PeasinaPod: Good Luck with your procedure!
@simplyfelicity: HUGS!
@Jess1483: Good luck on staying relaxed!
@ValentineMommy: Yay for vacation! You haven't been living under a rock, I've been pretty low profile.
@FliegepilzHut: I miss yoga, good for you for starting!Thanks everyone. I wasn't planning on bringing my announcement here because I know it can be hard to hear. Now I feel bad posting over here because I don't want to make any of you feel bad. Please wall me if it's too hard to see me.
There are two Ms.Badgers, I feel bad because the other one probably didn't sign on for being mistaken for a women who lost her child.
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@Ms.Badger: It's been fun so far (1 class)...I hope I can keep it up!
It doesn't bother me--I'm very happy for you! I was just worried that there could be a case of mistaken identity (with regards to a pregnancy)...and how awful that could be. 
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@Ms.Badger: It doesn't bother me either. You have been through so much and deserve some happiness. I wish you all the best and a h&h 9 months and beyond.
I hope I'm not far behind you!
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@Ms.Badger: I wouldn't dare to speak for anyone, but I'm thrilled to have you. As hard as it might be, I also think each of us will be genuinely happy when women here get BFPs. Otherwise, what are we supposed to do? Just all of a sudden disappear from the thread?? I was so happy to see that you are pregnant, and wish you all the best!
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@FliegepilzHut: Glad you are having a better week. And enjoying yoga! I took a yoga class in grad school for a term and spent the whole time making to-do lists in my head. I'm not sure that was the point...
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@FliegepilzHut: @ValentineMommy: @Jess1483: Ok, I'll stay. For me, it's different when I know the baby is very wanted and will be very loved. One of my best friends from way back told me she was pregnant like 2 weeks after I lost Lucas. She and her husband had been trying for nearly 2 years, about to start IVF. I thought it would be hard to hear, but I was SO, SO happy for them. Now our little ones will hopefully grow up together!
On a different note - does anybody go to a support group? Is it helpful? I've been considering starting. I'm getting to a point where I feel silly talking to friends, like I should be able to cope myself, but still need support. But maybe I'm not grieving enough for a support group... I'm wavering.
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@Ms.Badger: I haven't, though DH has suggested it numerous times. Instead, you all are my support group
If you feel like you need help, I wouldn't hesitate to go. There is no right or wrong level of grieving for that kind of thing - everyone is different. Hugs!
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@Ms.Badger: I think, if there's a chance that it might be of benefit to you, there's no reason not to go, even just once or twice.
Everyone copes a little bit differently..but if life throws me any more curveballs, I think I'll definitely seek out a support group and/or some therapy. 
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@Ms.Badger: I would go in a second if I found one. My friends and family are over it (I mean, they're sad, but they don't talk to me about it, and seem uncomfortable if I bring it up), and while my husband is a great support, I feel like I'm just dumping on the poor guy. This group has been incredible for me, but I think talking to others with similar experiences in person would be a great support. And I agree--no right or wrong amount of grieving. You feel what you feel!
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@Ms.Badger: I'm not in therapy now, but I was when my father passed away. And I think it was major and has had a continued impact on how I function and how I cope with things.
If you think a support group would benefit you, there's no harm in trying!
And I don't think anyone should ever place judgements on the right or wrong amount a person should grieve.
In everyone's own experience, things that happen to them are relative. And if you need support for something, you need support. Period.
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@Ms.Badger: I certainly don't mind you here. I couldn't be happier for you after all you've been through. I think a support group would be really helpful for you.
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I think anyone who's pregnant again after a loss is welcome.
I'm just really struggling to contain my sadness at dealing with both IF AND loss. As if losing a baby wasn't bad enough, not being able to 'just try again' is what's killing me right now.
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@jaguar: I don't have anything helpful to add, but I want you to know that you are in my thoughts.
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@jaguar: I have totally been there with you. And it sucks. I'm sorry that there are so many awful variations on loss that we are all dealing with.
We'll try again...and with any luck we'll have our BFPs soon! 
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@Ms.Badger: Good! I am glad you decided to stay. Even with a bfp, you have experienced an absolutely monumental loss and deserve all the support you can get. Have you thought about therapy? I have been going for a couple of years for various things and find it is do healthy to just have that "tune up" even when I am not going through anything at the moment. I think a great therapist would be a wonderful step for you.
@Jess1483: You have pretty accurately described my experience with others. It sucks but I am so glad I came back here... I totally needed the support.
@FliegepilzHut: @jaguar: Looking forward to the time when we can cheer you both on. -
AFM, I have been having ovulation like cramps today even though my OPK yesterday was negative. I hope hope hope it's AF.
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@FliegepilzHut: *hugs* It's nice to know I'm not alone. Thank you for reminding me! x
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@simplyfelicity: Hopefully it's a sign of something happening!
My lady parts have tumbleweeds blowing through them right now.
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@jaguar: Lol - I don't know if that should be funny, but it is
@FliegepilzHut: and @jaguar: While I myself have not struggled with IF, I totally understand where you are both coming from. My mom and dad struggled with IF for many years (I was adopted), and I know how hard their journey was to getting their family. Hugs to both of you
You'll have your family one day, and I hope that day is soon. I can't wait to cheer you both on when it's time!!@simplyfelicity: FX for AF!
I'm officially in this TWW and am already painfully anxious. That's definitely not good lol DH and I have been getting into stupid arguments (over nothing) the past couple of nights - he's super tired and I'm super anxious...it's just not a good combo for us! Vacation can't come soon enough!
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@jaguar: That was by no means meant to diminish your frustration...it's just that I can very much empathize.
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@ValentineMommy: Thanks! I'm definitely cheering you on, too!
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So I just received a call from my doctor's office...my m/c was apparently a genetically "normal" male. I don't know what to make of this just yet, especially since it was a "blighted ovum" (last imaged just prior to my D+C @ almost 9 weeks)... Hopefully my RE can help shed some light on this...
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@FliegepilzHut: I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. I hope your doctor has some better answers. How do you feel knowing all this? I wonder all the time if my blighted ovum was a girl or boy. I hope you get some answers soon
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@ValentineMommy: Thanks! I'm mostly just perplexed, in problem-solving mode now. Trying not to dwell on the thought of an actual male infant, who will never exist. What a downer...
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@FliegepilzHut: Just because the one test they ran (probably karyotyping or microarray) was normal that doesn't mean there wasn't a genetic issue. Those tests both look for large genetic changes (large duplications, insertions, and translocations). Many, many single genes could still have had problems and led to your baby not making it. I think it's so easy for us to blame ourselves for our losses, but really, this is all out of our control. If we had any control, we would all have our babies with us. (I work in clinical genetic testing and have a doctorate in developmental biology so I'm not just making stuff up, I promise.)
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@FliegepilzHut: Agreed. I'm completely perplexed for you, as well. We didn't have any testing done, and I go back and forth on wishing that I did and being glad that I didn't. I think I mentioned before, but I named our baby (a unisex name). Maybe that would help you grieve? It did for me.
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@Ms.Badger: Yeah, it was karyotyping. Got a good look at the lab report. I may wall you later! Thanks!
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@ValentineMommy: I understand how that could help...but I think that would almost make things harder for me. Looking forward to figuring out our next steps, though. Just putting one foot in front of the other...
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@FliegepilzHut: All the hugs!!!
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@MaryM: Thank you!
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@jaguar: I know that shouldn't be funny but I definitely chuckled. My cramps has turned into nada so I have no idea now...
@FliegepilzHut: Wow. To honest, I haven't really thought much of it being male or female because all that was on the sonogram screen was an irregularly shaped sac (probably due to the fact that a natural miscarriage was closely approaching.) I can imagine grappling with that information and I think it's commendable that you are using this knowledge to set you up for better success. Still, it must be difficult to hear. As always, I am pulling for you.
@ValentineMommy: I am sure you have told me, but how long did your OB tell you to wait to TTC after your D & C? I really want to NTNP, next cycle without being nervous about a surprise. -
@FliegepilzHut: Whatever works for you!
Hugs!!!@simplyfelicity: My doctor suggested waiting until the second cycle, but told me it was really for dating purposes should you get pregnant again quickly. He also said people generally don't take his advice, and physically it's not a problem to start sooner. After my 7.5 weeks of post d&e bleeding I had a period (without a break in between)....then a full cycle (with another period)....and now we are trying. So, I guess that's two full cycles? Either way....too late!
I hope I hope I hope
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@ValentineMommy: Okay, so the second cycle as in the first one after your natural AF? Thanks so much for the help!
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@simplyfelicity: I really wasn't sure about that either. I think as long as you have one normal period, you should be good to go as far as dating goes, as well as your lining having time to build back up. Keep in mind, I've read a lot of people's first cycle is anovulatory, although I've read of several people getting pregnant right away too. Just something to know. Everyone is different
I'm rooting for you!!!
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@simplyfelicity: Thanks! I had really expected something to be "wrong"...or the results to be imconclusive. Wasn't really prepared for this..but I feel like I'm bouncing back pretty well. Luckily, I've got a phone consult with my RE tomorrow. I'm pulling for you, too. I hope your cycle starts soon!
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Well, today sucked. I took my toddler to his Kindermusik class, and one of my friends announced. I knew she was pregnant (and she doesn't know about the miscarriage), but the ensuing conversation was apparently too much. I pretty much lost it. I had to keep leaving, which was super awkward (once tears start, it's hard to stop them). Luckily, a friend who does know was there and could hang out with my guy, but all these people I've barely met could obviously tell something was wrong. Ugh. I'm trying to see the silver lining and hoping that I'm over-emotional because AF is on her way. Ha!
@FliegepilzHut: I'm thinking of you.
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@Jess1483: Thank you. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Trying to gain back composure after you've properly lost it is so miserably hard. Be extra kind to yourself tonight!
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duplicate post
It doesn't bother me--I'm very happy for you! I was just worried that there could be a case of mistaken identity (with regards to a pregnancy)...and how awful that could be. 
We'll try again...and with any luck we'll have our BFPs soon! 
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