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@simplyfelicity:
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@FliegepilzHut: @SimpyFelicity: We're all ok to dream.
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Hey all! I'm finally back from vacation and missed you all! How is everyone doing?
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@ValentineMommy: Hey! How was your trip?
No AF here yet, but if my chart is correct, I'm at 7dpo now.
(random Clomid cycle, no FET yet.)
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@ValentineMommy: I hope you had an awesome trip and break from it all.
@jaguar: I would just LOVE if this random clomid cycle works for you. I love those stories
As for me, just hanging out. We prevented this month and I'm somewhere in the TWW. Next month is full fledged TTC and the timing works out that it is over our first and probably last trip without LO!! We also have appts for full panel RPL testing and an appt to go over all of the results and make a plan for conception on 10/20. -
@Tidybee: Wouldn't that be a surprise?
Ooooh, next month will be exciting for you guys! xx
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@jaguar: @Tidybee: Thank you! It was a great trip - definitely much needed and over too soon!! Now back to reality
AF is 2 days late (I'm normally very regular) and 3 BFN's. Poo. I hate all this waiting. Waiting to m/c. Waiting to stop bleeding...then AF. Waiting to TTC. TWW. Waiting for next period. UGH. I was never impatient before, but I definitely am now. Sigh. It was nice to be away (and off the internet) and pretend like life was perfect. It was so great!
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And AF has started a bit. Waiting is over. Onto next month, although, honestly, ttc is messing with my head. I knew I wasn't going to get a bfp this month, I knew it....I mean......with DS we got preg on the first try. With m/c we got pregnant on the first try. Soooo, with my recent luck, there was no chance of getting pregnant on the first try again! Ugh...I'm just feeling so down and I can't get myself out of it. I can't stand it.
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So I'm waiting to get what will hopefully be my last beta of this pregnancy drawn... Wish me luck!
@Tidybee: I hope you get good info from your RPL testing!
@ValentineMommy:
I'm sorry you're feeling so down... I know it's hard, but even "normal" sometimes takes a few months. Hang in there! -
@FliegepilzHut: FX!!! I know how much that sucks. I pray it's your last draw.
I just finished talking to DH about how badly I've been feeling. I think next month we're just going to keep taking our vitamins and BDing, but focus more on the house and other things going on so ttc isn't the #1 thing on my mind all the time. It's probably impossible, but I'm going to give it a shot.
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Hi ladies. First I am sorry that all of you ladies are even on this board and sadly I am joining your company.
This morning I went in for what should have been my 12 week OB appointment, We had a US because at my 8 week appointment the Dr got 2 different measurements (5 days apart) but we saw the heartbeat and she said that all was well and we would confirm this time. When we had the US, the baby had not grown anymore and there was no heartbeat.
I'm sure I don't need to tell anyone on this board how that felt and its just been a devastating day for myself and DH. To make matters worse, I feel like our doctor was not very sympathetic to our situation. I'm sure she sees this often but she said things like "it is what it is" and "its ok". I know that one day things will be ok and I know I couldn't do anything to stop the miscarriage from happening (I think thats what she was trying to tell me by saying those two things) but right now its hard to think that its gonna be ok or that I didn't do something wrong. I feel very guilty and just extremely tired and run down from this morning.
I'm very sorry for the long entrance and again I'm very sorry that everyone here has found this board because of such a sad situation. I'm hoping that in joining you ladies I can start to come to an understanding of what happened with people who know how I might be feeling.
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@HappyBluebird: I'm sorry to even have to welcome you. This group of ladies are so supportive, so I hope you will experience here the kindness and compassion that was lacking from the doctor. I had a similar experience - saw heartbeat but then went to next ultrasound to see none. That image is one that will never leave my head. That happened about 2 months ago, and I can now think about it without crying and I think the big difference is that i don't try to push it aside. That image was my only glimpse at my little one, so I do want to remember it forever.
The pain sucks...and it will take your breath away. We're here for you whenever you need to vent and you feel like you can't do it elsewhere. Be kind to yourself. No amount of asking "why" will change the fact that it happened. We can assure you that it was nothing you did. You did nothing but love that tiny one since the moment you saw that line. How lovely is that. -
@FliegepilzHut:
@ValentineMommy: That first day of AF is like a kick in the gut. Let yourself be sad...but you'll just try again and be hopeful! -
@Tidybee: Thank you so much for the warm welcome! I'm so sorry you had a similar experience. Your message made me cry, but not sad tears for the first time today. You are right that we loved our tiny baby from when we found out and it is a good thing to keep in my mind when I get sad again.
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@HappyBluebird: I am so sorry that you are going through this.
And you would think that OBs would know better... 
I'm sure we've all racked our brains to try and find an explanation or assign some fault...but in all likelihood, there is nothing any of us could have possibly done to cause our losses. I know that doesn't help much, but we've all been there. Please allow yourself all the time and space you need to grieve... -
@ValentineMommy: @Tidybee: Thank you both! It's gotta be, right?
@ValentineMommy: You're very wise. Distraction can be a wonderful thing!
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@ValentineMommy: The waiting is so hard. It's definitely by far the worst part about the entire process.
@FliegepilzHut: Here's hoping this is the last...
@HappyBluebird: I'm so sorry that you're here, but welcome. Please accept my condolences for your loss. It's never easy, and a flippant OB makes it that much harder. After our 3rd, my OB still continued to tell us that we were just having bad luck. Once I had my 4th, I marched into his office and told him he could take his "bad luck" BS and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. If you have any questions about what's next, I've had 2 experiences that were similar to yours and might be able to help.
I just got off the phone with my RE a few minutes ago. Seems that my blood work mostly came back normal except that some clotting factors came back as abnormal. She would like me to repeat those blood tests to confirm. If they come back abnormal again, she'd like me to see a hematologist. Should I get pregnant again, she wants to be sure that the specialist doesn't want me on a blood thinner during the pregnancy.
She thinks this is a secondary issue to the scar tissue. She also got my uterine biopsy back and there's inflammation there from the scar tissue. I'm tentatively scheduled for 10/24 for my surgery to remove it. Then, we'll go from there.
In the meantime, I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster which I know is the BCP. One minute I'm great and the next I'm a sobbing mess or filled with anxiety. I'll be happy when I'm off of the pill.
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@FliegepilzHut: @2PeasinaPod: Thank you for the welcome, I'm sorry we all have to be in this thread but I'm sure I can find the support I'm looking for from you all.
I'm a little apprehensive of the D&C. I wasn't 100% present as we were talking about options since I was upset and I felt like the OB made it worse. Its on Thursday and I took off on Friday as well. So I'll have 3 days of relaxing. By Monday, do you think I should be fine to go back to work? I don't really do anything besides sit at a computer.
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@2PeasinaPod: I hate the bad luck speech. I just got that 2 weeks ago but it was accompanied by a referral to an RE so I couldn't complain too much. At least you're starting to get some answers....
@HappyBluebird: I've had 2 D&Cs now. I think some other girls on here have had different experiences, but I had very easy recoveries from both. I think it's definitely wise to take Friday off...just to give yourself time to grieve still and sleep off the anesthesia. Monday you should be fine. I could have done anything in my normal routine (including exercise) within 24 hours of the procedure, but was encouraged to basically just rest in bed/on the couch and let my body heal for 48 hours. My doctor said the easier I take it, the less bleeding and recovery I would have, and it was definitely true both times. -
@HappyBluebird: I had a bit of cramping after each of my D&Cs, but had both of them on a Friday. I took the weekend to recover and was completely fine by Monday. I had a lot of prolonged bleeding afterwards, but cramp-wise I was fine.
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@Tidybee: @2PeasinaPod: that makes me feel better about it. Think I will take Friday and the weekend to rest and heal. Thanks again for the support. It's nice knowing people understand
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@HappyBluebird: I've had 2 D+C's which were somewhat different experiences (the missed m/c experience was not as bad, physically) post-op. I'd say play it by ear. If you're still feeling having bad cramping on Monday, I would take a(nother?) sick day.
@2PeasinaPod: Did they say which test was abnormal? I'm still waiting to get my lupus anticoagulant labs drawn...
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@Tidybee: The bad luck speech is absolutely the worst. I absolutely does not make me feel any better, so just stop! I kept asking for testing and he just kept patronizing me. Blah.
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@FliegepilzHut: She mentioned anticardiolite antibodies. No idea what those are!
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@FliegepilzHut: I'd like to know about different experiences people had so I know the possibilities. I tend to want a lot of information about things, especially medical things. Usually I would have asked more questions but I wasn't totally all there when we were talking about it in the office.
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@2PeasinaPod: Anticardiolipin antibodies are one of the things I'm having drawn, I think. I'm glad they're having you re-draw, just in case. I don't know much about them, except that it's an autoimmune antibody...
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@FliegepilzHut: Hmmm....well, that doesn't sound good. One thing that my mom neglected to tell me until just now was that she was on a blood thinner with both of my brothers b/c she had blood clots with both of them. That would have been so helpful to know SO LONG AGO!!!
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@2PeasinaPod: Ugh...that's totally the sort of thing that would have been nice to know.
Make sure your doctors know, too! I hope that you get a plan (and a take-home baby) very soon!!! @HappyBluebird: Here's a post from a while back b/c I was wondering the same thing...
http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/post-dc-experiences -
@FliegepilzHut: And same with you...is your doctor waiting to send you for your blood work to see what your beta comes back with today?
This is all the more reason why I'm so glad I didn't schedule this surgery for Friday on LO's birthday. Going through this process is convincing me more and more that he's a darn miracle.
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@2PeasinaPod: Thanks! Yeah...my RE wants me EXTRA not pregnant before I have those labs drawn (since maybe pregnancy can interfere somehow?)... It sounds like your little guy definitely is a miracle!
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Hey ladies- Sorry for being mostly MIA. Work has been nuts and we also just got back from a weekend hot springs trip to celebrate my husband's 30th birthday. It was just what we needed! We took the little one and my parents to watch him, and had both great family time and some one-on-one time (when we got started on our BD schedule...) I can only reply to this page, so if I don't respond, just know that I was keeping up with you all!
@ValentineMommy: I was so pulling for you this cycle. I actually was just thinking about you yesterday and hoping you'd get to announce your BFP. I'm sorry you are out this cycle, but I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
@jaguar: Hoping for a miracle for you!
@Tidybee: Sounds like a busy next month for you! Fingers crossed.
@HappyBluebird: I'm so, so sorry you are here, but I hope you'll find this group as wonderful and supportive as the rest of us have.
@2PeasinaPod: I hope you get some answers soon!
@FliegepilzHut: Hope your draws go well.Thinking of you all!
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I just got the letter to say that my insurance will not cover my chromosomal testing (tissue). Maybe I paid for it up-front? (Haven't received a bill yet...). Insurance is such an incredible racket...
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@HappyBluebird: I am so so sorry!!! Like you and tidybee- I had a heartbeat on the first u/s but was measuring small. Also with my 6 week u/s I had a large bleed near the sac; I was doomed from the beginning I think!!!
Please feel free to ask anything here or just vent
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@Jess1483: I'm glad you and DH were able to get away for a bit!
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@FliegepilzHut: my insurance didn't cover the testing either- I called the office I had it done and they gave me 20% off bill if I paid in full ?
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@mrs bunchy: Hmmm.... If I get a bill I may fight it (or ask for a discount). Otherwise, I guess I'll just eat it...but I feel badly for the folks for whom that's a harder decision.
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@ValentineMommy: I'm sorry it was a negative, but at least AF is here. xx Big hugs.
@FliegepilzHut: I hope you're at zero and can move forward, beautiful lady. I just got a partial bill for our chromosome testing ($100) and am waiting for the full one. Urgh.
@HappyBluebird: I'm so sorry you're joining us, and so sorry for your loss. We lost our little one at 11 weeks, (baby was 9.5 weeks) after seeing the heartbeat three times. It's absolutely devastating. We're here if you need us. Anytime. @Tidybee said it so well. x
@2PeasinaPod: The bloody pill! Always makes you so up/down. Hopefully they can sort out this blood clotting issue so you can tackle it after the surgery & when you're TTC again.
@Jess1483: Hope hubby had a great b'day. xx
Sorry if I've missed anyone. I have a sad toddler with a cold on top of me today, poor Georgia. 8dpo today.
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@jaguar: Thank you, sweetheart!
I hate how this drags out in the little things... Insult to injury! I hope that your bill's not too steep...and maybe, just maybe, I've paid mine already. ETA: I hope your sweet little girl feels better soon!
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@FliegepilzHut: Thanks! I hope so too. Hate seeing her sick, snotty little thing that can't blow her nose. It's awful!
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@FliegepilzHut: Thank you for the link. I read through the comments. It helped me feel better knowing the information.
@Jess1483: @mrs bunchy: @jaguar: Thank you very much for the warm welcome. It helps tremendously. I hope I didn't miss anyone who welcomed me, if I did I am very sorry!
Its 245am here and I can't sleep....Which I expected so I'm not surprised. DH finally is asleep so I don't want to wake him. I go from feeling so unbelievably sad to almost accepting what happened and being "ok" (Ok isn't the right word but I can't find the right word for it). I know its all part of the grieving process but its only been one day and I'm ready for this to be over. I know it will never be completely over, the emotional roller coaster of the last 18 hours is exhausting.
Thanks for letting me come here and vent in my sleep deprived state. And again thanks for the very warm welcome, it was very much needed today!
(random Clomid cycle, no FET yet.)
I'm sure we've all racked our brains to try and find an explanation or assign some fault...but in all likelihood, there is nothing any of us could have possibly done to cause our losses. I know that doesn't help much, but we've all been there. Please allow yourself all the time and space you need to grieve... 
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