So far I think everyone we have told has asked if it was planned or an accident!
My brother is young and said "was that supposed to happen?!"
So far I think it's funny.. but if it keeps happening I might get a bit annoyed. I mean, we've been married over a year, together almost 10 years, living together for 3 years.. etc.
Did this happen to you?
eggplant / 11408 posts
It has a few times, and I know that some others have thought it, because I'm still in school and due in April. My new answer is that one thing I've learned is that nothing about TTC is actually planned; miscarriages teach you that. It usually gets people to back up REALLY fast.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
Yes. Such an awkward question!! Doesn't help that I was 22 when I had my son 
honeydew / 7283 posts
Two people asked me. One was my sister! I guess maybe she thought I would have told her we were TTC. The other was a coworker. I was 29 and married, I don't know why anyone was surprised.
coconut / 8483 posts
@MrsF: haha my sister asked too! i told her over the phone and then after we hung up she texts saying "was this planned or an accident?" haha.
coconut / 8483 posts
......... and just told my other BFF and she asked if it was planned!!! lol yeesh
clementine / 984 posts
@Mrs. Champagne: Yep! And we're in nearly the same situation as you (dated almost a decade, married over a year, etc). My standard polite answer is "oh yes, and we're very excited." If it's someone I know well/don't feel bad calling out a bit, I respond "well, we do know how these things happen, and here we are, so draw your own conclusions...." 
But I'm a bit of a sasspot sometimes.
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts
Only once I've read about it on here so much I actually expected it more
clementine / 943 posts
Such a weird question. I was 31 and married for over two years when I got pregnant, so no one asked me.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22276 posts
Yes several times. It doesn't usually bother me though. It's just kinda nosy lol
kiwi / 673 posts
@Mrs. Champagne: I was pregnant with multiples so I didn't get the "was it planned" questions too often, instead I got "did that happen naturally" and "does that run in your family" ALOT. To the point where I was super annoyed and would respond with all sorts of things that would throw them off. To me, asking someone if their pregnancy was planned or if they had to use interventions is so rude, but I've come to realize most people have no filter 
pineapple / 12566 posts
With our first, yes. DH and I had only been together, ahem, a few months when I got pregnant. But I knew from day 1 that he was it.
watermelon / 14206 posts
It didn't happen when I was pregnant with S. I haven't announced this one, yet, so we'll see how it goes.
cherry / 150 posts
I think a good answer is 'well you can never really plan these things' Lol! My friend once told me she was asked by a co worker in a not nice work place and that's the answer she gave! Thought it was a very clever answer.. doesn't give much away!
grapefruit / 4923 posts
one person did, but it didn't bother me too much. if everyone was asking i would probably get a bit offended--that can be very personal.
grapefruit / 4712 posts
When I was pregnant with N people asked because I was in college if he was planned. Most people don't know that we are expecting number 2 yet so I am sure people will be asking a lot.
grapefruit / 4823 posts
For both yes! I got pregnant 3 months after our wedding and them again at 6 months pp. so you know for the second one I was asked it a lot more!
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
@Mrs. Champagne: LOL - I started a thread for the same thing a few weeks ago. I'm still stunned that people will ask that question, like it's any of their business!
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
Yes, often. When I was having a teeth cleaning, even the dentist said, "uh, is this a good thing?"...
next time, my stock response is going to be, "that is really none of your business and shame on you for asking"
pomelo / 5132 posts
Yes, including by my teenage students!!!! I got "when did that happen" and "was it planned" from the same kid!
watermelon / 14467 posts
Maybe a few times? Never by anyone I actually know. More often than not, I heard, "We thought you guys were never having kids!" since we waited five and a half years after getting married to get pregnant.
grapefruit / 4817 posts
Pretty much by everyone we knew. I think we were so private about the concept of us even having kids, that people were genuinely shocked when we announced.
eggplant / 11716 posts
@Mrs. Champagne: nope. Prolly cause we are old and had just gotten married. People probably assumed the opposite, that we were desperate to start trying because of our age! Lol
persimmon / 1436 posts
I got it so much! From people who were virtually strangers! Um, hello, I'm 30 years old and have been married for nearly four years! And what the heck do people expect you to say, "nope, it was an accident"?! Yeesh, this really surprised and annoyed me...
pomegranate / 3113 posts
No, but we've been married a few years and were open about the fact that we wanted kids at some point. I think people tend to assume we were trying because the question I've gotten most often is whether it took us very long to get pregnant!
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
No, but I think because I was 32 and DH and I had been together for a long time, no one was surprised.
pomegranate / 3411 posts
yes, we got asked by every single person we told except for 2 people. lol, but i am sure those 2 people were thinking it, it's just not in personality to ask such a question and i had fun never telling them. and we were also together 6 years, married over 1, living together for about 2...
pomegranate / 3411 posts
@littlek: we were also in our early 30s.
i was taken aback by the question. partly because our pregnancy wasn't planned perhaps? we ended up telling alot of people it was "semi planned" how else do you explain NTNP
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
Not yet, but we haven't told many people yet and most of the ones we have told knew we were trying. Dh's family didnt know we were ttc but we've been married 3 years so they were wondering if it would happen soon, and mil had a feeling i was pregnant before we told her!
grapefruit / 4400 posts
Yes, by my MIL after we told them about LO#2! We're in our early 30s, LO#1 is almost 14 months old... I mean, it doesn't seem like it was an accident to me! LOL.
squash / 13199 posts
@Mrs. Champagne: a few people asked me and i found it to be a bit off putting that they would ask that. Why does it matter to anyone if my baby was planned or not.
pomegranate / 3658 posts
I'd say "Are you kidding? I'm still trying to figure out who the father is."
(We've been married over 3 years.)
coffee bean / 41 posts
I didn't get asked this with my first. I did with my 2nd but I got pregnant at 9 mo postpartum so I guess I didn't think it was rude. I mean that isn't much time between kids, and does seem a little crazy He wasn't exactly planned either, my period hadn't come back so I didn't really think I could get pregnant. Maybe that's why I didn't think it was rude. I am pregnant again now with #3 and my other kids are 3 and 1.5, and I have got the question a few times. But again I think having kids close together like that causes people to wonder if you really wanted to have that many little kids at once, haha.
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