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We each have serious conversations with our own parents. My folks overstep a bit because we lived with them when DD was born- I have given them a couple gentle reminders to reign it in and they are quite responsive. We also share a similar parenting style to my parents so they don't tend to do things that enrage us... My ILs parent very differently than we do (DH deliberately does NOT want to raise his kids the same as he was brought up and we are 100% on the same page) and they love to totally disregard the rules we lay out that they don't think are necessary. DH has had to give them the smackdown several times about healthy eating, safe sleeping practices, etc. They take DH more seriously than me which is annoying but at least they listen when he talks to them.

It helps that we don't live close to either set of parents, but since DS was the first grandkid on both sides, it has been a learning experience.

We powwow after the fact and come up with a response that won't damage relationships, but gets the point across. Then give it to our own parents.

Like my MIL giving my 1 year old sips of her Diet Coke. Not OK in my book and I had to convince DH to tell her that it wasn't good for him and she couldn't do it. He was all 'What's the harm?' but I convinced him why it was bad and then he had to talk to MIL.

I don't know if it is a mother-son thing; my MIL is just super sensitive about any criticism and is obese, so any health topic seems super-charged, even if it is really about my toddler.

Talking to my parents seems a lot easier, but then again, I haven't had to tell them to stop doing anything. I've told my siblings, but they don't have kids, so I paint it that way and it goes just fine.

I think I'm better at this than DH, so it's a good thing neither of our parents oversteps too much or does really terrible things with our kids.

One time ever, my MIL, while well intentioned, overstepped seriously and I was extremely angry and then DH talked to her about it the next day. But it was wayyyyy overstepping, so he really had to. Thankfully that was like, over 2 years ago and nothing has ever happened since.

My mom is very good at listening and watching how we parent and also I have a huge amount of respect for her way with kids. I would say something if it came up, but nothing has.

IL are another story, it's going to be a long time before we leave the kids with them for any amount of time. They just aren't up to it. We have already had a few conversations about guns in the house and I continue to worry about then all actually getting locked up. Lo1 is a very curious guy and will get his hands on things you never thought he could/would. This will continue to be a hard topic.

I have no problems telling my parents if they mess up, they haven't besides one or two minor things, but I know they'd be responsive to anything. They've never once questioned what we're doing and just act interested in what we're doing. My husband isn't great about confronting his parents so I'd probably have to do it but they don't get to watch DD so nothing has really come up.