My dad doesn't, but my mom is super anxious about these things (partially because she lives very frugally). Inevitably, 1/3 conversations covers the topic of money. She directly asked me how much money my husband and I have and when I wouldn't tell her, she started throwing out numbers and then asking if she was right....
Now, she is a korean mom so...those things are somewhat on par with what korean moms do...but it still bothers me..
Have your parents ever asked about your finances? How do you respond?
pomelo / 5469 posts
Not directly, but they did recently ask me what price range of houses we are looking at, which made me feel a bit uneasy.
pomegranate / 3577 posts
Yes, and I told her it was none of her business.
@illumina: Same. And then I told her it was none of her business.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
my mom did my taxes until I got married so she knows how much I made up til 2010. She doesn't ask about DH's salary.
pomelo / 5469 posts
@Espion: Haha! I told them what it was...I couldn't think of a reason not to. Oh well.
grapefruit / 4006 posts
she has asked before, but i am open about that kind of stuff with her and i usually tell her before she asks anyway.
kiwi / 729 posts
This comment has been deleted by the original poster.
pomegranate / 3577 posts
@illumina: The problem is that my mom has no filter and she would blab to the checkout person in the grocery store. If I tell my mom, I might as well post my W-2 here!
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
Nope, luckily, my parents haven't. Though they ask other things like car payments and rent/mortgage.
My sister and I had a discussion about how much we roughly make. I think we were both trying to figure out if the amount of schooling we had affected how much we make. One has a extra degree than the other. Though one of us works in the private and the other works in the public industry.
coconut / 8430 posts
My dad has asked in a roundabout way and I told him not to worry about it.
On the other hand, I've straight up asked my brother and he's told me. He was asking for financial/career advice, so it was a relevant part of the conversation.
pineapple / 12793 posts
My dad noses around. I'm straight forward about my income, but DH owns his company and has amazing years and bad years. I know it drives my dad nuts to not know. Not for bad reasons, I just think he's really curious.
pomegranate / 3658 posts
Nope, and I am adamant about keeping that mystery alive. I've been firm with DH about not sharing that info with his parents, too. We are much more comfortable than either of our parents were when they were our age - and much better off than our siblings - and I don't anybody to feel any weirdness about that.
eggplant / 11716 posts
I think all of our parents know how much we each make. They also know how much out house costs.... This goes both ways though--DH knows the ins and pits of his parents finances and my mom always asks us (both of us$ financial advice.
honeydew / 7622 posts
My side of the family runs a multi generational business, so finances have always been an open subject. When M hits sales goals sometimes they take us out to dinner. His Mom has a general idea but does not know as much about our finances as my parents.
bananas / 9899 posts
My mom asked me over Facebook how much we paid for our new house and I ignored it. I don't think it's any of her business. So far she has never asked our income, but I know she knows roughly what we make.
pear / 1657 posts
My mom never asked, but I have discussed it with her. I have a lot of anxiety about money and she is often a good source of reason. She also has a lot more experience dealing with mortgages, investments, etc, so I look to her for advice.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
My dad handled my taxes until I got married 7 years ago, so he knew up until that point. Now he has no idea what our combined income is and it will stay that way. The reason is I don't want to tell my parents and have my husband feel the same and tell his parents because his mom is a little too liberal with that information.
pineapple / 12053 posts
my dad does our taxes and now DH's salary is public record if you want to look. DH made so little before (and his family didn't know the real amount) that when he made an off handed comment to his sister about the salary of one of his jobs, she got super sad. i don't know that his parents have ever asked out right.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
My parents have asked and I have told them it's none of their business
nectarine / 2173 posts
Mine don't ask although it wouldn't bother me. They're very proud of how successful we both are and I also know they would keep it private.
pomelo / 5093 posts
No, thankfully. I know my mother doesn't approve of how much my husband makes, so I'm glad she hadn't asked.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I don't think so? It's not a big deal to me whether they know or not so I can't even remember of they have asked!
pomegranate / 3809 posts
My dad did my taxes until I got married so he knew. I don't think he told my mom though. No one has ever asked us though. DH is open with his family and tell them how much our house is, how much we spent on our cars, that we decided to pay cash on them, etc.. but not details on savings and stuff. We figure cost of house is public record, and once you know what car someone has, you know it's general cost so there's nothing to hide for cost of those items.
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
My dad has looked over our taxes for us before so he knows. I know how much he makes, and about how much my mom makes, too. It's not really a big deal to us to discuss, there's no judging
grapefruit / 4085 posts
No but I've told my parents how much we make. It's something I'm comfortable sharing with them. I don't know if my husband ever discussed his salary with his mom.
GOLD / watermelon / 14076 posts
My parents have never asked.
coconut / 8079 posts
My parents don't talk to us about finances unless we bring it up. DH's parents talk about money constantly and are always asking how much we paid for things. It makes me uncomfortable.
grapefruit / 4400 posts
Both of our parents have asked, and we've told both of them. It's not a big mystery for us... they're proud of us and are happy that we can live (moderately and) comfortably. DH will tell his parents each time he gets a raise or bonus.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
@SleepyMonkey: same! I usually tell my mom anyway! She doesn't really ever ask though! And especially about DH's salary.
We support them financially and have no problems doing so, she knows we're comfortable.
Inlaws know too! Ballpark! Doesn't bother us! If anything we feel supported because they're so proud of us and happy that we are secure.
honeydew / 7303 posts
They've never asked, but if they did I would probably tell them. I would also remind them how much student loans i have though
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
We talk about money with our families so they have an idea of what we make. We talk about savings, retirement, and stuff like that.
clementine / 812 posts
Neither of our parents would ever ask. My parents know ballpark what I make just because I got a new job 2 years ago and ran the pros/cons of accepting past them, which happened to include my salary.
apricot / 490 posts
I tell my mom what I make because we are extremely open. I wouldn't tell my ILs and I would be upset if my husband told my ILs. They nose around in their own way and it would make things uncomfortable during interactions.
cantaloupe / 6164 posts
Yes, they know. I don't remember how it came up. We're close, so we have nothing to hide. I know how much they make as well.
honeydew / 7091 posts
In both our families everyone knows what everyone makes - parents, siblings, etc. I don't think my parents ever specifically asked me 'What does B make', but they know what I make and I've volunteered our combined income to them. Vice versa with DH's family.
I don't know if it makes a difference that we all have similar enough combined salaries, but I can't see why I ever would withhold that info
papaya / 10343 posts
I don't think they've ever asked but they knew how much I was making when I worked. I asked my dad's advice on negotiating for my starting salary and I told my mom when I got a raise. I talk to my parents every day so it's sort of casual conversation for us. I don't know if they know how much my DH makes but they could probably guess.
nectarine / 2220 posts
We're pretty open about finances in our families. I know how much my parents, his parents, our siblings and their spouses make, and how much they paid for their houses. No big deal.
Many of us work for the government so about 15 people in our extended family have their name and annual salary printed in the newspaper each year, including myself and DH.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I don't really think its a big deal, I'd probably tell them if they asked. I have a good idea what my dad makes, and DH knows what his parents bring in.
Today, my mom and I were talking freely about filing taxes and it never even occurred to me that it would be out of the ordinary.
grapefruit / 4028 posts
Absolutely not. DHs family talke way to open about it and openly judges; which makes me uncomfortable. There is no reason for my parents to know, so we don't share.
Though I just realized both my and DHs salary is easily available online, so I wonder if they've ever looked us up?
DHs family acts as though we are very rich, and although we are comfortable, we are by no means rich.
pomegranate / 3329 posts
My parents know, I'm really open with them. Nobody on his side does that I know of.