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Do your parents ask you how much money you make/have? (either directly or indirectly)

  1. lamariniere

    pineapple / 12566 posts

    My dad knows how much I make, but he doesn't know DH's salary. But my dad and I are both self employed, so we have reasons to talk about money. My ILs have no idea where we stand financially.

  2. Rocker2014

    persimmon / 1367 posts

    I've spoken to my parents about it because they've got great boundaries when it comes to talking about finances and I trust them. Plus,my salary is public record, so it isn't a big secret!

  3. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    My parent's know how much I make because I work for the government, on a public pay scale. Also, my dad does my taxes. lol

  4. travellingbee

    hostess / papaya / 10219 posts

    @ValentineMommy: same- I'm a teacher on a public pay scale so that's no secret. They haven't asked about DH but they know we are comfortable. That's all they'd care about. That we aren't in need.

  5. chopsuey

    hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts

    our parents (both sides) have an idea of how much DH makes.
    I don't think it's a big deal!

  6. Modern Daisy

    grapefruit / 4187 posts

    They have never asked, but I told them how much i made once when i was considering being a sahm (and having them fill in the blanks financially). They know how much our house cost and that we can afford it on one income so they certainly have an idea. I think they are very proud of us for setting ourselves up this way financially when we easily could have bought a much more expensive house.

  7. yoursilverlining

    eggplant / 11824 posts

    I think my mom asked me what salary I was offered when I started with my new company, but neither she nor my dad have ever asked again, asked what DH makes, or asked about our financial situation. They are very mind your own business.

  8. lilyofthewest

    pear / 1697 posts

    My ILs have asked pointed questions about whether we can afford the things we do/own. I mostly just am silent and look awkward and uncomfortable.

    This was especially true when we bought our house -- perhaps because they did chip in for our downpayment. They expressed several times that we were spending an inappropriate amount. They didn't seem to get that we couldn't spend substantially less without dramatically increasing our commute time. And that we now pay about the same amount in mortgage for our 4 bedroom house as we were paying for a small 2 bedroom basement apartment.

  9. LuLu Mom

    GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts

    No, my parents don't know. They do know what I started out at but that was almost 9 years ago. I'm sure they have an idea but not an exact amount. They aren't ones to ask.

  10. meganmp

    persimmon / 1420 posts

    They've asked, I've told. I don't see a reason not to. Hell, my salary is available publicly.

  11. alphagam84

    persimmon / 1086 posts

    My parents know how much I make because I brought it up while talking to them about negotiating for a salary. They've never asked about how much I make or how much DH makes. My in-laws have asked several times and we shut them down.

  12. 2PeasinaPod

    pomelo / 5524 posts

    Nooooooooooo. My mom doesn't understand why I can't be a SAHM and thinks it's because we can't afford it. While we could probably make it work, I just don't have interest. My mom also doesn't understand the concept of inflation...so she thinks that because she survived with my dad making a certain salary with 3 kids that I should be able to make that work too, and we're living beyond our means if we can't. Money is a touchy subject with her, so I avoid it at all costs.

    DH's parents don't know and I don't think they care to know. They just want to know that we're not in need at all.

  13. ShootingStar

    coconut / 8472 posts

    I think my parents either know or have a really good idea how much we make. I don't really care that much about it. I wouldn't be surprised if DH told his mom too.

  14. namaste

    persimmon / 1313 posts

    My mom has never asked. I work for myself and she's asked to me to do work for her friends. She gave me a quote on how much another firm was charging them; they thought it was pricey and I told her I would charge much more than that. I'm sure she would LOVE to know.

  15. Pumpkin Pie

    persimmon / 1431 posts

    They dont directly ask how much we make, but they ask how much we paid for everything. I respond with something like "I don't remember" or " it's really none of your business ". We've had some conflict over it, but. Eh.

  16. Mrs.KMM

    grapefruit / 4355 posts

    They don't ask but we as a family are very open about financial things, so they know. My mother-in-law does our taxes, so she definitely knows!

  17. mediagirl

    hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts

    Our parents have an idea of what we make. I don't care. They were great with their money and were able to retire early so we talk with them to get tips on the best way to manage our money.

  18. WinterBee

    persimmon / 1071 posts

    @Cchoi4: I have talked finances with my mom before, but she has never asked and I don't give super specifics.

  19. babypugs

    persimmon / 1101 posts

    No idea if they've asked, but they definitely know, and I know what they make. It's not really a big, secret thing for us.

  20. mrsrain

    nectarine / 2115 posts

    No, but my dad is our financial advisor, so he does know the numbers.

  21. Greentea

    pomelo / 5678 posts

    I don't really have a problem sharing, but no one ever asks either. It isn't as if it is a big secret, the information could be researched...

  22. gingerbebe

    cantaloupe / 6131 posts

    My mom is Korean too, so talking openly about money and how much junk costs has never been weird in our family. But she's never full on asked how much money DH or I make. Mostly she wants to know how much things cost us so she can get an idea of how much we're working with. She knows how much we paid for our cars, our house, how much student loan debt we've paid off, etc.

    We have extremely different financial philosophies, however, so her assumptions about our lifestyle is often way off base. My parents are indigent and have always been notoriously terrible with money. They finance everything and consider debt to be a totally normal way of life and don't believe in living below a certain lifestyle.

    My brother and I, having been traumatized by that upbringing, are hyper vigilant about our finances, debt, and savings. So my mom looks at what I own and thinks I actually make like 2-3 times more than I do because she assumes we're financing everything, whereas DH and I prefer to pay cash for just about everything and live extremely frugally. She honestly doesn't understand why we don't own flashier cars or why we didn't buy a huge new construction house because "the payments aren't that much more." Which is why she thinks I'm being really cheap and stingy when I hesitate on certain expenditures that involve her or the family - because she thinks I have money just laying around.

  23. ms.line

    pear / 1770 posts

    My dad knows my and my husband's annual salaries, and roughly our mortgage, student loan, and car payments. He's never asked and I've never offered how much we have in savings or investments, though.

  24. Mrs. Lemon-Lime

    wonderful pea / 17279 posts

    No! One time my opened my W-2, I was living at home at the time, and she commented she made more than me. I replied "okay." I wasn't going to have a salary convo with her, but I thought she "should" make more than me.
    .she"s been working for 25 years longer than me!

    My parents balk at how we spend and waste, but they have no clue the overall picture.

  25. fussygal

    pomegranate / 3580 posts

    My family never asks about those type of things and while DH's family is the type to ask, they've never asked me how much I make. DH however, works for the family business so they definitely know how much he makes.

  26. DillonLion

    GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts

    Nope. Talking about money was really taboo in my family growing up. DH and I are really passionate about budgeting/finance so it comes up in conversation, but we don't get too much into the specific details.

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