Wondering what is common and socially appropriate in different circles. I see it (and participate) on social media a lot. One girl at work constantly brags though and it drives me nuts. She repeats herself if I sometimes ignore her. Then I feel sorry for the situation. She has very rarely ever, if ever, been happy for my good news. Maybe I am bugging her too. With my close friends, I am genuinely happy for them but I only bring stuff up if the occasion arises and only briefly.
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Hmm I'm not sure if I brag (my children are 1 and almost 3 so I'm not sure what I have to brag about) but I definitely tell cute little stories about them. Some of my friends without kids definitely look at me like I tell the most boring stories ever, but I can't help it.
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Friends, family, coworkers are very interested in LO and I feel a little weird about it. Was I suppose to be like this all this time? Anyway, he's so little there isn't much to brag about per se, but I try to keep my responses very short. I share more details with his grandparents. Who knows if he is really superbaby with his development at this point, but they sure think he is a star.
I don't plan on volunteering info and bragging on him when he gets older. IRL I am not that interested in "parent talk." Once you share about your own, you must listen to someone else share about theirs.
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Yes, definitely! Although I'm more likely to tell a story if its funny than to simply brag about them.
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Really only to close friends/families that don't mind or to other mommies that will brag about their kids too and it's all mutual.
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@Cherrybee: @snowjewelz: @Mrs. Lemon-Lime: @JCCovi: lol! Yes, I don't want to bore people so that's why I avoid talking on and on or bringing it up. If I look at it as otherwise mutual then I guess it is ok. I just want to thank you for responding. It was one of those things bugging me and it was helpful to bounce it out there and get different perspectives so I'm not so irked by a friend.
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This always seems obnoxious! I have one friend who goes on and on and on about how amazing her child is
Eta: dd is 3 months. I try really hard not to do this bc it annoys me when others do it.
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Only to my mom because she also thinks they are the smartest, funniest, cutest human beings ever.
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I "brag" a ton to her grandparents, my siblings, and my best friend because they love to hear about her accomplishments, even if they are small or silly. With other people, I try to only mention something if it is relevant to the conversation or if they ask about what DD has been up to lately. I feel awkward about going on and on about how amazing my kid is, even if she is pretty great!
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My sister brags about her daughters nonstop when we see each other. It is annoying, and she talks down on my own kids, who are similar in age. She likes to play the "oh it must be a girl thing" or "boys just don't catch on as quickly." I think our oldest are similar academically, but she makes her daughter sound like a pure genius.
I don't brag because it's not really in my nature to show off, especially my child. Sure, I'm proud of him, and I let him know that. I just don't need to justify it to the rest of the world.
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I don't like bragging because it almost always backfires on me. For example, if I catch DD2 singing a song perfectly word for word and ask her to sing it again in front of other people, she will refuse. She's very unpredictable in everything, food, likes, dislikes, etc... I'd rather avoid tantrum city right now. We are in the midst of "threenager" so life has been more challenging lately, still lots of fun though! LOL
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I don't like bragging, but I'll tell a funny story about DD's recent antics.
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I don't like listening to other people brag about their kids, and I don't like bragging, so I don't do it.
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I'm very proud of my kids and I think all parents speak from a proud parent perspective--and that's OK! I'd be worried if parents didn't sound proud at least sometimes. My kids often do things that aren't things neurotypical age-mates do or understand, and it can be misconstrued as bragging if I talk about it. Even saying the G-word, though it's a medical descriptor for brain wiring that was actually diagnosed and explains a lot about my kids and their quirks, is taken as a brag. For that reason, I pull waaaaay back on what I do say about them. Sometimes it makes me mad I can't just say factual things about them, so I occasionally do it anyway, just around close people, if the subject comes up. The people who love my kids don't mind at all. I definitely have my hackles up though and keep very quiet a lot of the time, and it's sad, because we all think our kids are cool, and it's nice to be able to celebrate their milestones, no matter when they happen, without negativity.
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I think that children's greatness should speak for themselves. No need for parents to brag about it. Even worse is a child bragging about him/herself. I do, however, think that there can be a few confidants in your life - family or whatever - who love your child as much as you do in that situation its okay to brag. But in general, ugh. Usually if someone is bragging about a kid, I tend to think the exact opposite about the kid.
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I have a small group of mommy friends and we all 'brag' to each other. I love hearing about their LO's accomplishments and they seem to love hearing about mine so its fun to share. They're all about the same age so its fun to chat about it and share pics/videos especially since we are all far away from each other.
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@Portboston: Would love to have a couple mommy friends who are at the similar stages to text each other cute, funny stories, things we are proud of and 'new tricks/milestones' LO can do without feeling like bragging bc it would be mutual. I hate when it's not mutual and one-sided. I usually avoid saying positives because I don't want to perceived as 'that mom' by people who don't get it.
I get it though! I just don't want the precious moment lost on the busyness of the day and so fun to share and celebrate with others who are up for it!
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I think the only people I really "brag" to are my parents, and I'm not really sure I'd consider it true bragging. To me, bragging has an element of "my kid is better than other kids". But I just basically share where he is in certain milestones he's working on.
So for example, lately we've been all about potty training. I am so proud of him that he hasn't had a potty accident in weeks and now he's finally pooping consistently in the potty and not his overnight diaper. So that's the kind of thing I'll tell my parents. I feel like it would cross over into bragging territory if I framed it as "Can you believe he's only 2.8 and he's already pretty much potty trained?! We have friends who's 3 year old is way behind D!" That to me would be a more obnoxious/braggy way to talk about it.
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I def brag to her grandparents and dh, and to my bff who doesn't have kids but loves lo like a niece. And if it comes up: this sounds like bragging as well, but people (friends/acquaintances, random people on our building's elevator, etc) always comment on lo's vocabulary/verboseness, and if they say something I will as well. I wouldn't bring it up with another parent or say it in a one-up kind of way, but I am proud of lo so I def do gush when I talk about her!
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LO did several things earlier than most kids her age but I don't think I project a 'my kid is better than yours' attitude and I definitely focus on my friends' kids' strengths when the opportunity arises. I think I need to stop worrying about what other people think when I share about LO. There are going to be some that are happier that I shared and some that are not. I just don't want to cross the line into annoying, one upping and one-sided like my coworker. I also come to realize the most appreciative and interested audience of LOs stories are my husband and those that don't compare.
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Only to our parents. Don't people consider it rude to brag to other parents about their kids' accomplishments? I don't know that I would ever feel comfortable doing that - it feels like if you're bragging to someone else who has a kid, then you're implicitly putting down the other kid. When I gush about my daughter, I'm talking about stuff she does that is hilarious or that I find exciting, like that someone else might find interesting.
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@PawPrints: Exactly, talking about the exciting stuff can still come off as bragging to some people. Sometimes the 'might be interesting' is the tricky part.
I can tell navigating that line is super subjective. -
Of course I brag, but I also temper it with the ridiculous things that he does, such as calling me a POS and when he banged up his RC car and told my husband he didn't care.
It's a wash, basically. And the people I talk about it are happy to tell me the stuff their kids do. I feel like we all learn something, it's so awesome to exchange stories.
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@looch: Yes, I add in the ridiculous stuff too so there is a balanced view.
Great point and I totally agree!
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@808love: don't worry about it, only a rude person would tell you they reached their limit on hearing about your LO. People understand parents are proud. DH and I laugh about this all the time it took us having a kid for all the parents we know to start talking (alot) about their own kids LOL. And don't let their cell phone be close by then you're in for a story with pictures! It's all good though.
@Looch: I'm loving your little guy's vocabulary!
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: he speaks like a 67 year old man I know, aka my father. It makes me smirk a lot but man, I am reprimanding my father and son these days.
I get it though! I just don't want the precious moment lost on the busyness of the day and so fun to share and celebrate with others who are up for it!
Great point and I totally agree!
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