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That is a long day. Question - why would a babysitter/nanny at home with the kids disrupt your husband anymore than you and the kids would if you quit your job? If anything, I would think that you being at home would be more disruptive bc a babysitter would naturally keep her distance whereas one spouse would have not problem bothering the other spouse. I wfh 2 days a week and we have a nanny and no one bothers me (not never, but not a lot). By contrast, when my husband is home, he is constantly in my office asking about random nonsense.

@Corduroy: so if he took a break and picked up your daughter, she’d be home alone with him working for a few hours anyway? I can’t imagine he would be able to get the same amount of work done that way. It seems like the perfect solution would be a local babysitter of some sort that would take your daughter back to their house, so she gets chill out time but is away from your DH working.

Are there things he can do at home to make the evenings easier- like put dinner in the oven so it’s ready as soon as you get home? You could prep the night before but it would save time, yet not take up too much of his work time to preheat the oven and stick it in.

@Corduroy: I would get a before school or after school sitter. I know it seems impossible to find, but you may be surprised at the amount of people who need extra cash but can't work full time (a student in a local community college, for example).

We have a sitter that works 7:30-8:45 am, and again 2:30-4:30 pm (and until 5 pm on Mondays because I work a bit later). I leave for work at 6:45 am and the kids are usually just waking up/brushing teeth at that point. So my husband is responsible for brushing their teeth and feeding them breakfast before 7:30. At 7:30, the sitter comes and she dresses the girls and does their hair and gets their backpacks together (I pack all lunches and snacks the night before). At 8,, they leave for the very short walk to DD1s school for drop off, then she hangs out outside with DD2 until she can drop her at 8:30 am. THen our sitter has college classes 9-12 am 3 days a week. So she does that, then comes back to our house by 2pm or so to drop her stuff and get snacks for the kids, then she's back out for after school pickup for DD2 at 2:30 and DD1 at 3:00. Then they usually play at the park or have play dates with neighborhood friends. They only come back home if it's super bad weather. My husband occasionally works from home, and our sitter makes every attempt to keep them out for a while after school, so the girls don't bother him. She also takes them to dance 1x a week--but could that be an option for you too? Having a sitter and signing them up for some classes or having them do free stuff like the public library, parks, etc?

For us, paying for a sitter for 18 hours a week is almost the exact same price as paying for before-and-after care for 2 kids in our school district. But it's so much more convenient. It really outsources a good amount of "mental load", because our sitter will text me reminders that she hears from the teacher like, "Don't forget it's picture day tomorrow." or "the book fair money is due tomorrow". Even little stuff like "You are almost out of toilet paper". Because seriously, my husband never notices that stuff.

It's really helpful.

I would get an after school sitter. Seems like a no brainer to me! Someone that can let your daughter chill for a bit, help her with reading/homework and get started on a simple dinner so the kids can eat earlier. Also it won’t disturb DH as much having someone to look after DD.

My son just started K and it’s been a real transition. He used to go to bed at 8 (or even 8:30 in the summer) but now he has to go to bed at 7 or he’s a total disaster.

I work shift work so my schedule is all over the place, but I find our evenings are a lot smoother if I’m home to make dinner earlier. The kids aren’t as hungry/tired and everything works out better. I try to start at 5pm if I can!! Good luck. This transition has been tough and I was used to my son going to daycare for the past 4 years!

Yeah, I think a nanny and a good lock on your husband's office door are the best answer. He does have an office with a door, I hope?

Never mind that if you don't have a nanny, there has to be some way to deal with school holidays, early dismissal days and snow days. Not sure how much of this you've dealt with so far, but it's pretty bad in our school system. I never realized how easy we had it with day care. Last year it's been one half-baked pathetic care arrangement after another, and we're planning to either do something with my work hours or find a nanny down the road.