My MIL and FIL both smoke marijuana, my MIL most heavily. It's not for medical reasons and while I don't care how they live their lives, I care how it relates to my children. It's partly because of their lifestyle choices that we've never allowed them to babysit or left the kids alone with them. Their idea of child proofing their house was to put a chair in front of the stairs. We finally decided enough was enough and bought a gate and some other items for their house.

We don't visit often anymore because they live 2 hrs away And everyone is always busy. They visited a month ago to go to a concert in our city, but only spent 3-4 hours with us, including supper and breakfast. During that time MIL held LO2 a lot, as it was only the second time they'd seen him since he was born (aside from a brief hospital visit). Well, long story short, she'd been smoking pot shortly before and when I got him back HE smelled like pot, too! And the entire time, she was congratulating herself for quitting smoking cigarettes. Ugh!

On Saturday we are going down to visit for her birthday, and I want to tell her in advance that I don't want her smoking up if she is going to be holding the baby, but I am dreading it. How would you approach this conversation? It's useless to suggest that DH do it. He is even less confrontational than I am.