I've been perusing the old topics related to this on HB and am curious what the Hive would say now. My situation:

I'm almost 9 weeks with our first after lengthy infertility and then IVF. My in-laws are out-of-this-world excited. My mom is also happy but not naturally as effusive. (Parenting wasn't her fav.) All live a full day's drive from us. I've known from before we were pregnant that my MIL wants to stay with us for some time after the birth. I've never had the guts to ask her how long (my friends and I tease that she'll never leave). Until yesterday, my mom had never spoken of coming for the birth.

With this in mind, I broached the subject with my mom. She said she assumed she'd be there for the birth (not sure if she means in the birthing room or waiting room; need to broach that topic too!) and would stay with me at my house for a few days after. I told her that DH's mom is also planning to stay with us for a while after, so FYI that there will be a number of people in our house during this time. She said this would be stressful and I agreed that it might, but that we didn't feel like we could deny either of our moms this experience and we'd come up with a plan to help it run smoothly beforehand. She didn't argue, but the moment we hung up, she texted DH and informed him that this is a special time between a daughter and mother and he needed to tell his mom that she couldn't be there until after my mom has her turn.

I feel like this was disrespectful on numerous levels and DH was really upset. I'm foreseeing all kinds of awkwardness and stress post-birth. What was your experience like? What did you do to make it easier and balance the desires of both sides of the family?