Hellobee Boards

@foodiebee: I have read the responses and just wanted to add a few things fwiw. The first time we didn’t even tell anyone I was in labor- I didn’t want anyone to know because it felt like more pressure I didn’t need. Both my mom and my MIL were awesome at being helpful- cooking, doing dishes, going along with whatever worked for me. I didn’t have to entertain them, they went to the grocery store and kept us fed and the house from falling into disrepair. I personally didn’t care if people saw me breastfeeding, so my rule was anyone who wanted to visit had to be ok with seeing my boobs. If you feel differently, definitely give yourself some space! Also, I wouldn’t want anyone around that I didn’t feel comfortable being totally raw with who would also be really helpful. My mom was willing to take the 3-5 am shift when the baby was fed but not sleeping/ wanted to be held, for example. Huge! Anyway, just some additional stream of consciousness thoughts as I nursed baby #2

@foodiebee: When my daughter was born, we informed our family that only grandparents were welcome to visit us at the hospital. I had a 40 hour labor, finally went to the hospital at 11pm. By the time baby was born the next day at 2pm, both sets of grandparents were pacing the waiting room. While I was getting stitched up, I saw my in-laws' feet under the curtain and I said (through gritted teeth) "Get them out of here." {like seriously...most vulnerable moment ever}. My mom texted me 2 different times while I was trying to nurse for the first time (did not go well) and then while I was trying to shower/get cleaned up. For our next child I will request no visitors, period. DD won't be allowed in anyways, so that makes it easy--she gets to meet baby first, and grandparents will be taking care of her anyway.

Once we were home, it was just DH and I for a week, figuring our new life out. My mom came 2-3 days after DH went back to work and she stayed for 3 days or so. She cooked, did laundry and held the baby while I rested. She also called me out for attempting to be super woman and made me rest. I don't really remember my in-laws presence a whole lot. They did come over with DH's siblings and brought pizza one night, so the siblings could meet baby.

With a future baby, if grandparents want to know how they can help I will request meals, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, muffins and also for them to take DD outside and run her around (very specific! ). Also, for them to hold baby while DD, DH and I play a game or something.

Think about what you want and be very direct when you ask for it. This is up to you and DH and it does not matter what anyone else thinks or feels. This is only the beginning of you setting boundaries for your new family!