My 5 week old seems to really prefer DH over me and it's breaking my heart. I'm her mommy and it tears me up that it takes me twice as long to get her to relax than it takes him. It really makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, I should be able to soothe my baby. I'm trying not to burst into ridiculous, over-dramatic tears over this.
I just needed to put that out there because I'm feeling really crappy about it tonight. At least DD1 still prefers me, right?
pomelo / 5298 posts
Sorry! I can only say that I know how it feels. #2 is much more comfortable with DH. He's got too Daddy's girls. Sometimes I try to appreciate the freedom while he's stuck with both of them wanting his attention 
pomelo / 5228 posts
You smell like milk! Take it easy on yourself, you're doing a great job mama.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
My first is having hardcore daddy preference. Babies and toddlers are such fickle creatures. There may be something about his voice or the way he carries her that your LO likes. It's nothing personal! And I'm sure it'll flip flop soon! Also, I think they can sense your anxiety and your DH may be a little calmer. Your smell may rile the baby up! I know T pokes his nose around more on my chest than DH's
pomelo / 5678 posts
@Mrs. Sunshine: aw honey I am sorry you are feeling bad. DD was the same way! I was always like "phew, you can take her then," 
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
@MamaG: @Greentea: I'm so glad to know it's not just my baby! I need a lot of personal space so you'd think I'd be happy that he makes her so calm but I guess my hormones say otherwise!
pomegranate / 3314 posts
@Mrs. Sunshine: I f the same way about my 5 week old. It seems he settled so much better for my husband and I'm not even nursing, so no milk smell! I have been pretty emotional over it lately. I seriously hate pp hormones.
clementine / 878 posts
For me it also felt like my DH was much better at soothing dd than I was and it was true! But I don't think it had anything to do with what baby preferred, I was just too anxious and hormonal to calm her down let alone myself. Now she is a total mommys girl!
papaya / 10570 posts
My DD was exactly like this, too! She would cry all day with me and then as soon as DH got home and took over she would calm down. I remember one night, when she was three weeks old, DH was working in the evening/night and she screamed and screamed and screamed until he got in at 2am. By the time he got in, I was having some seriously dark thoughts (I had PPD) about how she would be happier if I was no longer around. Now she's almost 2 and she is a total mummy's girl. She runs away from DH, refuses to give him kisses and cries for mummy whenever I leave the room. I'm certain that this will flip again many, many times before she finally becomes a teenager and hates us both!!
kiwi / 567 posts
I don't have any advice on parent preference. But just a note that my pp hormones/ baby blues hit the absolute peak at 5 weeks. It manifested in really profound feelings of anxiety and inadequacy. By 6-7 weeks I started to feel more like myself and looking back I can see the things that felt so upsetting were really just symptoms of that. So if you are feeling really upset, it might be more about that than anything else. Hang in there!
grapefruit / 4649 posts
I went through this too, it was so hard! For me it was partially linked to the fact that I had a separated pelvis and I couldn't really bounce or rock her (which also broke my heart). I can say it ended pretty quickly and she is pretty much attached to my hip these days! Big hugs to you!
nectarine / 2834 posts
I hated hearing it when I couldn't calm my newborn down, but my mom kept insisting that they pick up on mama's anxiety as the minutes tick by without being able to calm baby down. She always told me the story that it was almost 2 hours of inconsolable crying from me when her neighbor offered to try to console me, and I was quiet within seconds.
I always found that to be true with DD1 too. She'd cry for an hour, I'd call DH at my breaking point and he'd walk in and she would basically start smiling the instant she saw him. It was a kick in the gut -- but try not to take it personally! Baby still prefers mama over anyone!
honeydew / 7622 posts
M is just better at calming T than I am. She's 12 weeks. Please don't feel bad, it's great you have a hands on partner. I agree with the nervous energy, when I get stressed I can feel her get upset.
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
Thanks everyone. I'm feel a bit better about it this morning 
pomegranate / 3706 posts
Aw honey, your baby is still so little. I know it's painful to think she prefers your DH, but she'll go back and forth a lot-- as I'm sure your first baby did. Your sweet babe *loves* you unlike anyone else-- your body is the only home she ever knew until now, and even if she isn't showing it at the moment, your smell, sound, touch, and your heartbeat will soothe her more than anyone else's possibly could. Hang in there-- you're doing a great job!
kiwi / 643 posts
@Mrs. Sunshine: Sorry 
unfortunately I know now you feel but it's totally normal! At least your first DD is a momma's girl!
DS has been a daddy's boy since birth, went through the separation anxiety stage 10 times worse with him, would choose him over me for comfort, etc, etc. But now that he's almost 2, he's definitely been team mommy for a lot of stuff lately, and I love it. So there's always hope! I honestly thought he would always prefer DH over me, now it's more 50/50.
I'm pregnant with another boy and hoping this one is team mommy from birth
apricot / 347 posts
I felt the same way about DD when she was that small but really that was all in my head. He happened to have good timing or was just a good change of scenery. I'm certain cause within a few months she didn't want anything to do with him! :'(
grapefruit / 4455 posts
Sending hugs your way, I remember that all too well with my daughter. She would cry for hours and I tried everything. Of course by the time DH got home she was exhausted and passed out within a few hours and so DH didn't even realize how difficult she was. It will get better. (and my daughter has since had periods of a serious mommy preference!)
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