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I would - if my family needed me and I felt I was financially/emotionally prepared to give the baby a healthy and happy home I definitley would - but I can see how it would be a tricky decision to make (especially with the level of involvement that others would have in wanting to make decisions etc)

I would do everything I could to take care of my family. However, I still would still spend some time with a lawyer to understand what rights, influences, etc belong to all of the different parties. There would also be a long conversation with all family members involved about boundaries. As long as the child is my foster, I am their mother. Not their bio mom, dad, grandma, etc.

It's family. I would for sure take that child under my wing or anything else necessary to protect.

I would. When I was about 4, my parents took in my two year old cousin, even though we were already struggling financially. That meant they had 4 kids in the house, 3 of us under the age of 4 while both worked full time. I'm sure it was really hard, but I look back and think how awesome it was that they stepped up to do that.

I would. It's family. I would just want to know our legal rights and make sure the birth family is in an understanding.

I've had this recurring dream that for whatever reason DH and I are bringing up SIL's 2 kids. I know in that situation I'd do it in an instant and figure out any issues along the way.

I think the benefits of a stable family placement far outweigh the draw-backs. I agree though that you shouldn't do an informal placement. You need the full backing of the system.

I would, because family is family and because we and other family members could provide a stable and loving home; but, I would go into it expecting there would be major drama and probably some heartache on your end. Kids are not taken away willy nilly and at the same time most places want to reunite kids with bio parents if possible; so I would always keep in mind that there is a very good chance that you will have to give the baby back after bonding with it; and you might have to give the baby back to a mother whose life choices and situation you might not agree with.

So, id do it, but I wouldn't really want to; since I think there is a good chance that you'll end up hurt. Hope this makes sense. Tough call to make.

My brothers are foster to adoption siblings. Their birth mom is my cousin. When my mom decided to do it I told her she was crazy for getting mixed up in that part of our family's drama. Now that I'm a little older and wiser I realize I would do the same thing. The children didn't ask for their situation and they're innocent victims in the situation.

It did cause strain on some family relationships but when I think of what my brothers lives would have been like I know that it's all worth it.

Absolutely, but only with a good lawyer and all paperwork handled properly. You can get/give a wealth of love from giving this baby a good start, but also remember the stressors that will no doubt be involved and that you may have to eventually give the baby back.

@hellocupcake: First, I'm sorry your family is going through this! My SIL had a lot of problems with her first 3 kids, and DH and his brother wanted to adopt them. Unfortunately, SIL changed her mind, went on to have a 4th kid, and shuttles all of them over to her parents (my IL's) pretty frequently; they lived there full-time for a few years. It has been really hard for us to watch, because if she had just agreed to let DH and his brother take the kids, I know they could have provided a better/happier life. It has gotten better for them, and she seems to be trying, but it sucks that she couldn't do what was best for her kids.

I think it's admirable that you are willing to do this for your SIL's kids, and I definitely agree with the other posters that you should ensure all legalities are in order, because from experience, verbal agreements mean jack. HUGS and good luck to you!!

@Weagle: I agree.

We are currently in the position with my ILs as guardians for 2 immediate family members (children). Because they weren't removed by the court they are not in foster so we were not willing to deal with the mom back and forth drama.

@hellocupcake: it sounds like you have come to a good conclusion. I would love to follow along with your story and ear how its goes.