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@mrscobee: I would NOT ask if she's tested, or what happened, or anything like that. To me, that is the equivilent of the very annoying "Did he call? Did he call?" Lol. I went through IUI and 2 people knew we were doing it. I think a simple "thinking of you!" would be great a time or two during the TWW. Then rely on her to tell you good news if there is some.

I think a simple "thinking of you" is perfect. It shows that you care without expecting anything back. It leaves the ball in her court. Even if it is successful, she might not feel comfortable sharing with anyone until after an ultrasound.

@mrscobee: NP! Good luck to your friend!

I'm in a similar situation, and I'm planning to say something to the effect of, "I wanted to ask, but I wasn't sure if I should" once I hear from her. So she'll know I was thinking about her, and maybe she'll say what I should do in the future if she would want me to ask.

I hated being asked, especially after the first two didn't work and ended up not telling people about any subsequent ones because I was so, so tired of having to relive the disappointment of a failed cycle each time someone asked.

Definitely a "thinking of you" text would be great. I think I also would've appreciated some total transparency: "I want to follow up with you to find out how it went, but I also want to give you your space. Feel free to tell me as much or as little as you like - just know I'll be thinking of you in two weeks and wishing you the best thoughts!"

I think a simple 'I just want you to know I'm thinking of you' is perfect.

If is unsuccessful, I wouldn't want people constantly asking if it worked.

If it is successful, I may not be ready to tell anyone until I'm further along.

I think it's great that she told you she was having an IUI, but just because she told you doesn't mean she is ready to spill the beans on the results. I know I still want to be a normal mom who gets to wait til i'm 8-12 weeks to announce. But having IF for so long, you kinda still need to support which is probably why she told you about it.

I've been through this six times (4 IUI, 2 IVF) and the one friend who has known all along has handled it really well, by basically doing what everyone above is suggesting. Just a "thinking of you!" every now and then, not pushing for details, but being excited/supportive when I did share details.

@travellingbee: I like that!