Hellobee Boards

I don't know if it's a phase but we have that bad over here. She's 3.5 and it's beengoing on a while.

This morning we were of course running late. She had put one sock on and I asked her to do the other while I packed up. She came down with both socks in her hands asking for help- so less dressed than when I left her.

@MrsSRS: yes, we do "look at mommy/daddy" and wait for eye contact and then say what we need in a soft firm voice. Then we ask for a response, like "okay mama" and send him off. It's not perfect obviously but it helps.

@gingerbebe: exactly this. It's not perfect but its pretty effective.
If it's a really bad day I will also threaten loss of something - usually bedtime or naptime books. "LO, I asked you to brush your teeth. If I count to 3 and you aren't waking over here you won't get any stories tonight." It's highly effective but you HAVE to follow through if they don't comply by 3. I followed through the first couple times and he figured out real quick that I mean it.

If he's being outright defiant (not just tuning me out/distracted) I do a timeout.

I feel like we've been doing this for a while, I'm starting to think it's not as much of a phase.

I repeat myself so much too! I teach middle school and have to repeat myself a lot to that age group as well (my directions are written on the smartboard and I say them multiple times orally). I often feel like my middle schoolers listen as poorly as my almost 4-year-old!

But I agree with @hummusgirl: making anything into a race or a competition really motivates my older son (and middle schoolers for that matter)!

@Meso: He hasn't done it in a while because now the threat works! But you have to follow through and do it the first 1-2 times you say it in order for the threat alone to work. Know what I mean?
So yeah, one bedtime was awful. I still sang and rocked him. But he couldn't have a bedtime story. He's a good sleeper in general though so he wasn't up for hours or anything.

Can all of this advice be used on a husband? Asking for a friend.

We've had to be super direct (eye contact and ensuring she isn't distracted), but we still have to ask SO MANY TIMES.

One thing that helps is to let her know x can't happen without y. "It's time to go outside. First, I need you to put your shoes on." ...

Also, before we're ready for that transition, I'll give a little, "Hey, in 2 minutes, we're going to be going outside and I'll be asking you to get those shoes on."

I still have to ask her most things at least 3 times. She's nearly 3.5, and this is a "phase" I'm ready to see go away.

@Littlebit7: lol

My question is sort of related...lately dd is driving me crazy with multiple requests for something even after I've told her "sure I'll get that for you in a minute". Any ideas on how to get her to stop repeating the request? Right now I usually say"if you keep asking I won't get it" or I ignore her but either way I just want her to ask once and trust I'll follow through. Too much for a 2.5 yo?

@Mrs. Pajamas: @ShootingStar: my 2.5 year old does this too! The thing we have found most effective is to stop doing whatever he asks for if he asks repeatedly. He will say he needs his water bottle and I will say okay and start going to get it and he repeats over and over and escalates his volume and I just stop. I turn around and hold my hand up and say "Excuse me. No sir. I told you I would get your bottle but you have to be patient and wait (hold up hand again) for mommy, okay? Yelling at mommy is not nice. Can you say 'water bottle please?'" (He says it). "Okay, I will get you the water bottle now but you have to sit nicely on your chair and wait for mommy, ok?" (Okay). And then he says thank you when I get it. It's really annoying especially when I'm frazzled trying to deal with the screaming 1 year old or the pasta water is boiling over or whatever but that repeating demanding sh!t is not okay. We have seen a lot of improvement by DH and I both reinforcing the stopping thing.