Did having your sticky baby after a loss make up for the mc? I know a mc is such a terrible thing, but I can't help thinking I wouldn't have my LO if I hadn't lost the baby a few months before getting pregnant with her. I'm still so sad for my mc, it was awful at the time. However, when I stop to think about not having my daughter, it hurts way more. Does anyone else think like this? Like if you didn't have your mc, you wouldn't have LO?
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Ya I def feel like this. If I didn't miscarry I wouldn't have my son and that thought is just unbearable to think about.that..but I will always miss my first baby. But as time goes on I don't think about my miscarriage as much anymore.
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Not a MC, but I had a loss...and if I hadn't had the loss, I wouldn't have had the baby I'm carrying now. I don't feel it "makes up" for losing my daughter, but I think it will help to not feel empty handed.
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I agree. Miscarrying was the hardest thing I've ever gone through and I still wonder what would've been BUT I'm so in love with my lo that I can't imagine not having him in our lives.
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Yeah, the miscarriage was definitely so, so hard BUT if I hadn't lost my first one, I wouldn't have my son and I'm already so in love with him. It's kinda silly, but I think of it this way- I conceived my son 3 days before my original due date, so I like to think it was the first baby's way of letting me feel happiness again.
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I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way.
@Dandelion: I was thinking of you actually when I wrote this post and wondered if you would respond. It is so awful that you lost S but I know this new little baby will bring so much joy to your life.
@Ash: I wonder what would have been, or who would have been as well.
@lilteacherbee: that's a nice way of looking at it! I try to think about my mc at times in a positive light too when I am sad about it and think that it was my body preparing me to carry my LO.
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It makes me more sad to think about NOT having E in my life (if i hadn't had mcs) than to think about if those mcs hadn't happened. If that makes sense? She just kind of healed the scabs from that experience.
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I'm struggling with this right now actually. I'm 15 weeks pregnant and delivered still born twin boys last year (triplet pregnancy with one surviving baby girl). We have recently started spreading the news of our pregnancy, and I'm feeling a lot of pressure from friends and some family that this "makes up" for the losses. Of course I chalk most of the comments up to people not knowing what to say in most situations, but it does make me think. I think about my angel babies everyday and I'm actually quite nervous for this new baby to join our little family. I hate to admit it but I've actually wondered what I will think if the baby turns out to be a boy (were team green). Will I look at him and see what could have been with our other two or will I feel relief that we finally have a living son. I have already had a few comments of "oh maybe now you'll finally get your son!", I'm sure it's a boy!", etc. I am a nervous wreck about it as you can see
Oh and sorry, that was probably a little too deep/detailed, but ts something that's been on my kind and your post was very timely!
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@beachbee: I've had that comment to me, too...that this baby must make up for losing S. It doesn't, and I tell them so. This is a different person than S and it doesn't make me miss her any less.
ETA: When I found out this LO was a boy, it made it way more obvious to me that I lost S, if that makes any sense. All the girl clothes I had are now stored away for a potential future LO and I'm having to get all new stuff for this LO. It wasn't a gender disappointment, but it was just official that I wasn't having a baby girl any time soon.
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For me, it did. But I had a very early miscarriage, so that pregnany never really had a chance to develop. I think for me the biggest reason that my mc was so hard was because I was terrified that I would never be able to sustain a pregnancy and have a baby. If I had lost a baby much later, having another baby would help bring some joy back to my life, but it wouldn't "replace" the child I lost.
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