Lately DD has been having full blown meltdowns more frequently. The past two nights have ended in her screaming and kicking on the floor, crying and saying "no! no!" over and over. It's impossible to calm her or talk to her. My first instinct is to just ignore her and let her calm herself. DH usually tries to hold her or talk to her. Neither method really works. Just wondering how you handle your toddler's tantrums and what works for you.
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I don't handle them well. I'm inclined to ignore her, but that's hard in the middle of the night.
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Depends what they're over. Sometimes, i just have to walk into another room. And then i notice her scootch her flailing butt to follow me and she's watching me to see if i'm watching her...then i realize it's just for attention. It really depends why she's throwing a fit. I realize that sometimes she's just frustrated or upset if i had to take away a toy or something....but when they last 30 min? Mama ain't standing there and watching, LOL
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@blackbird: I agree --- totally depends on the situation and why.
Most of the time, I sit on the ground silently with her while she tantrums and cries. I find that when I don't try to reason with her and quiet her down, they actually don't last that long She gets it all out and then wants to be held so I hold her and hug her and tell her I know she's mad/sad. -
@blackbird: I agree, it depends for me.
Sometimes I just need to move her to a safe spot and let her go for it. Other times, if she is tired or it's her teeth then I try to soothe her- rubbing her feet works great, she either relaxes or laughs
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I make sure he's in a safe place, tell him I'm here if he needs me and we can talk when he calms down. For so long if the tantrum happened while we were trying to do something like get pj's on, I'd muscle through it with him screaming and it would last forever. Now I just ignore.
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I'm still trying to figure this out. I've been trying to snuggle and soothe him, but he usually just fights me. I've tried to ignore it but it goes on FOREVER. Last night, I picked him up from the dinner table (where he was tantruming because I wouldn't let him have another piece of buttered bread), took him up to his room, and just kept saying we'd go back downstairs when he calmed down. He calmed down more quickly than normal, so perhaps removing him from the offending scene works? I dont kow. It was just that one time, but I'm going to try it again.
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I used to try to snuggle him but he is not interested so I mostly ignore. And I will see him side-eyeing me to see if I'm paying attention.
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If it's an over-nothing tantrum, I have found the most effective solution has been to find something I know he likes to do (lately that's reading) and I do it. I don't pay much attention to him, but I will sit and flip through one of his favourite books, silently. Once he notices what I'm doing he will usually stop, sniffle, and come over to listen to the story.
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If we are out in public and she starts to misbehave, I tell her I am leaving since she is misbehaving and say “bye E!” and start to walk away. I never get more than 2 steps away before she’s running after me. So far, just that is enough to break the tension of the meltdown and she is fine.
At home, I mostly ignore. The thing I say most often to her when she’s beginning the meltdown is “you need to take a deep belly breath. Take a deep breath” and I just keep repeating it over her tantrum until she does it, and calms down. Usually only takes a minute or two. If she is resistant to that method, then I’ll say to her “I can’t understand you when you whine” or “you are not going to get what you want if you whine” and then just turn my attention to something else. Usually she snaps out of it pretty quickly.
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we walk away and come back when she is quiet. When she is quiet we say to her we cannot talk to you when you're acting like that. I do not speak monster. Then if she continues her tantrum we leave again.
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Usually I walk away. Once she calms down I talk to her. Or if she is still full on screaming after 5 mins, then I try and calm her down. Sometimes DH just lays next to her on the ground and it seems to make her stop.
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Thanks ladies. Just trying to get an idea of how other parents handle it. I'm sure she's acting out because baby brother is due any day now.
Lately when she tantrums, if I try to get near her she screams "no!" and runs away. So I try to ignore it but she's not good at calming herself down and just keeps tantruming. Last night it was because she wanted to eat dinner at the coffee table. The night before it was because I suggested sitting on the potty before bath. Distracting her has worked at getting the tantrum to stop - the first night playing a music toy got her to stop, and last night I took her outside.
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