Have you heard about the parents in Canada who are raising their child without telling anybody the gender? I've seen the story a few times, and while I appreciate the idea of letting kids choose their own activities, hairstyles, clothes, I still think that gender exists for a reason. How will you reinforce gender roles or will you completely let your kiddos choose for themselves?
-
i will most definitely enforce gender roles. boys will play with trucks, girls with dolls but i don't mind tomboys. i don't like girlie men. i think god created men and women for a reason. i don't think we should let girls be boys and boys be girls and vice versa. but that's just my opinion. i'm proud to be a woman!
-
Wow, I'm from Canada and did not hear this story. It's rather interesting. As much as I wanted a girl I would never dress Mavrick up in girl clothes, but at the same time I would not stop him if he wants to play with dolls.
I understand the concept of tomboys, but why not tomgirls. I played with trucks, gi joes and cars... and my male cousin with my barbies. He's definitely not gay and the idea of having a boy play with girl toys is no indication of that either. People stress about it too much. I think .
So ya, I let my son do what he wants... but he likes trucks and all boy stuff, but we plan on getting him a baby (before i give birth) so he can understand the concept and if he plays with the doll... then that doesn't matter to me.
Plus, there are boy dolls
-
I think that gender exists in societies for a reason. It's not a modern concept that they're rebelling against, gender roles go back to the beginning of time because men and women are inherently and biologically different. While I agree that too many stereotypes exist relating to gender roles, I feel like teaching your children to completely go against social norms is probably not a good idea in the long run.
In the case of this couple, I feel like them turning their child into an international news story is far more damaging than putting "it" in pink or blue clothing.
@Tequiero: I really think that it's interesting that gender roles for girls have loosened tremendously over the past 20 years or so, but they're still pretty rigid for boys. Tomboys are commonplace, but boys who are girly are considered sissy. Since you're having one of each, I think it will be neat to watch how they grow up and develop their own personalities and preferences and whether or not they will be heavily influenced by their genders. I have a set of twin cousins, one boy and one girl, and the girl is definitely a tomboy.
-
Gender definitely exists for a reason: it allows individuals within a species to biologically specialize, and it allows for reproduction where genetic material between individuals is combined into a new individual (as opposed to say, asexual reproduction).
So far, Charlie has shown a lot of traditionally male preferences just on his own. But if he ever wants to express a feminine side, I would definitely be actively supportive!
-
I used to work at a (now-defunct) chain of kids furniture/bedding/accessories store. It drove me crazy that EVERY SINGLE option for girls' bedding featured pink. So many parents came in and said "I'd love to shop here, but my daughter doesn't like pink".
I think that sex and gender are important and should be recognized by parents because that is the reality of society, but I hate when things are so rigid that there's no room for kids to explore their own preferences. Why can't a girl have blue bedding? Why shouldn't a boy enjoy nurturing a baby doll? It doesn't make them anything they aren't already, it just allows them to express something they are interested in. -
Weird that I'm seeing this, because I just ran across this interesting blog post on xanga. It's unsettling..
http://www.lovelyish.com/756114770/andrej-pejic-redefines-gender-in-high-fashion/
-
Although I agree that gender exists for a reason, does it actively need to be reinforced? i.e. Does a boy necessarily have to play with trucks if he wants to play with dolls or stuffed animals? This discussion comes up a lot in our household because when I was a kid, I resented that my brothers got to play with Legos and I did not because I was told Legos were for boys! I plan to buy trucks, trains, and Legos for my daughter and I don't think it will affect her perception or development of gender.
-
@megwag - i agree with you. i don't think girls should be all pink and boys should be all blue. i think you can pick and choose what that "line" is. i don't mind if my girls wear blue. i'll probably dress my boy more in red than pink though just because i'm not the biggest fan of pink (for girls or boys), but i'm not against pink for boys. my husband has a few pink shirts and wears them proudly haha (even though he can be such a guy's guy sometimes - i would never have guessed that he'd ever wear pink). i think it does help a bit when your baby girl looks a lil more boyish and your boy a lil girlish....although, people will still make mistakes!
@meladoriem - i played with my brother's transformers and he-man, gi joes, etc. i don't think there's anything wrong with that. i don't mind that boys play with dolls or house or what not when they're young. but after a certain age (don't have a particular age in mind), i think that if my son wants to dress like a princess or play with barbies, i'd do something about it.
-
my son wears a pink polo but he's very boyish. (he wears red more than pink) And yes, I agree toys are interchangeable (until a certain age)
But if he's much older and wants to wear a dress... I don't know how i would react.
-
I read this story awhile ago, it was also discussed on another board I frequent. To me, gender is the human interpretation of male and female characteristics, sex is genitalia and reproduction. So, if the parents want to raise a child to be genderless, that's fine, as long as they stop the experiment when and if the child decides it would like to adopt a gender. Maybe the child never will, who knows. Further down in the article they say they aren't keeping the sex a secret, the mother changes the baby's diaper in public.
-
This is such an intriguing topic. When I read about it at first, I thought it was wildly unfair to the child as there are certain societal expectations wrapped up in gender and to not be equipped with them can ultimately be a detriment to success.
That said, the over abundance of pink or "I'm too cute for math" T-shirts, drive me INSANE. We can promote gender norms, but don't push girls into thinking their role is to rely on good looks and coy smiles for success.
-
I think it's very important to listen to our chilren and pick up on their preferences instead of simply dumping our own prefences on them. I'm trying to register for mostly gender neutral items because I want to be able to use them for multiple kids, but if we have a girl, there will be some pink and some frills. However, if one day my little boy shows that he identifies more are a girl (I'm thinking of an episode of Our America with Lisa Ling about transexuals and there was a little boy on it who changed his name and wanted to be a girl), I would be supportive. I think it is much more damaging for a child to not have their parents' support than to cross gender lines.
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
12 comments