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I've boxed up a bunch of my son's toys before, the crime was not picking up those toys after repeated requests. He knew exactly what was being done, he cried about it, but I was clear and up front that if he didn't pick up the toys he was going to lose them. He eventually earned them back, they didn't represent his entire stock of toys, though. He was over 3 at the time.

I guess it depends whether that punishment is linked to the "crime"? Another words, IMO it doesn't make sense to take toys away for hittiing, for example, or for throwing food. Throwing toys, sure I would take them away for a bit--maybe even the rest of the day if it was already late afternoon/early evening (not all the toys, just the toy that he was throwing). Is she doing it in an angry way? Or very calm, like " I know you're sorry, but we don't throw cars at people, so this car is going to have to take a rest up here on the shelf for a while, and we can play with something else". I have said that to LO before.

@2PeasinaPod: sounds like the mom needed a time out!

I have been there - frustrated and exhausted and probably went a little overboard on the punishment but at 2 yrs old - I think that was a little extreme, ok a lot extreme!

@2PeasinaPod: that sounds very harsh. And I agree with you that he probably doesn't really understand why everything was taken away. It makes me sad to think about.

We do timeouts for hitting, throwing, spitting, etc and do take toys away if DS is using them as weapons or if he refuses to help pick them up, despite numerous requests. I don't expect him to pick everything up, but I do want him to help me clean up, and taking them away for the night/for a few hours, seems to resonate with him.

My daughter is 2.5 years and I absolutely take away toys that she throws or hits her sister with (for the rest of the day, or until nap if it's early in the morning). As far as cleaning up toys, I've only put a toy in time out as a punishment for refusing to help pick up on one occasion - that's all it took.

Personally, it's extra important to me to have some hard and fast "cause and effect" rules and to follow through on things I say I'm going to do because I'm aware that my 10 month (who is super super cheeky in her behavior) old also watches her sister's actions and my response to them like a hawk. I want them to take me seriously so that when I tell them more important rules (not running into the street, not touching the oven), they'll remember that the consequences Mommy mentions ARE true. If I say I'm going to take away toys for throwing, then don't do it, why should they believe me when I say the oven is hot - don't touch?

It sounds like your friend's reaction was in anger rather than something she'd planned out ahead of time, which is probably why it feels harsh. It's a bit on the extreme side for me...I feel for her, though. It doesn't happen often, but if my daughter is being put in her crib to calm down after several hours of misbehavior/not listening (just one of those days!), I don't believe she should get to play with mountain of toys, so I will remove everything but her lovey, since what her behavior says to me is that she needs quiet downtime.

@2PeasinaPod: I'll be honest, there's not a lot of toys in my son's room, so it wouldn't take me a lot of effort to sweep everything into a box and be done with it...it's that way by design though, we use the playroom for the majority of toys because the bedroom is a relaxing space.

We've never had to remove everything from my son's room, but the thought of doing it then having to find a place for the stash isn't exactly how I want to spend my free time, so I wonder your friend's son's room is very bare to begin with?

I guess i'm alone in thinking that's not harsh. don't think that's too young of an age for him to understand. When DD was 2.5, she kept putting her foot through the the dining chair. One time, the chair tipped over and i was able to break the fall. A few days later at lunch, she kept doing it, and i was really upset because it was a safety issue. I told her if she did that one more time (she had already done it repeatedly), i was taking away her Princess water cup (something new i had bought her, which she loved). She did it anyways, and i promptly took it and put it away. She cried and cried, and i told her she could have it after nap time. She never put her foot in the chair again, and when i tell her, "if you do this..." she knows there will be consequences. (ETA: i realize what i took away doesn't "fit" the crime, but i already tried other things before taking her cup away)

That being said, we don't do timeouts. We'll do "quiet chair" when she needs to calm down (we'll be there with her). It would make DD much more sad for her to be alone, than to take toys away.

Everyone has their own way of disciplining their kids. Whatever works for that family.

@2PeasinaPod: Ohh, i didn't realize that you guys were going to be there the entire day. So where was he going to be? Just sitting on a couch watching? I actually think that would be quite difficult to enforce!