So I was spoiled with DS, he is very cautious as a rule and very sensitive to approval. DD is a little wild thing though. Leave the door open a crack while you take the trash out? Expect her running down the street (not the sidewalk, the street) within seconds. Try to checkout without holding her? Expect her to be pulling all the items in the display out and dropping them on the floor.
I was working with customer service at Kohl's to return some shoes without the receipt (also her fault incidentally) for about 20 minutes, she kept running to the back admin offices. As I sign it all and turn to go, she is nowhere in sight. Not in the restroom area, not in the toy section, not in the admin offices. I look down some other aisles and see her at least 20 aisles away over halfway across the store. She didn't seem to care at all as I scolded her and told her no and all that stuff. She cared when I physically hauled her out and wouldn't put her down, but she's too young to really understand consequences I think.
DS would break down and cry if you told him no, DD just ignores you. Don't eat the dirt for the upmteenth time? How about a rock? I'm flying with the kids solo soon and she will be spending the vast majority of her time in a baby carrier because I'm terrified she'll just take off through the crowd!
She's only 15 months, but I need to address it now. Any one else deal with a runner? What about wild toddlers?
pomegranate / 3965 posts
Sounds a lot like DD, who is almost 17 months. She will climb up onto anything (just the other day was climbing up the oven by stepping on the bottom drawer and holding the door handle!). She loves to run. She is a little trouble maker but also the sweetest most affectionate little girl.
If we go out we just have to watch her like a hawk. There is no setting her down unless I'm walking right behind her. Yesterday at a flea market she'd walk off and I'd yell 'bye' like we were leaving her, and then she's start running for me. She hates the stroller most of the time so I get stuck carrying her often. Shopping with out a cart is not enjoyable!
I'm not sure there is a way to teach her otherwise right now? I'll be following to see what others say!
pear / 1622 posts
My runner is still going strong at 2 plus years. He now lets me hold his hand and carry him more than he did when he first started walking and he is OK with riding in carts in stores. I try to let him walk on his own but that usually ends in a safety issue. I am hoping he will outgrow this soon. When we went blueberry picking this weekend he couldn't stick with us and pick the berries and went running off - it was not good. Honestly because I have 2 so close in age and one being wild, I find there are certain places I will not go with 2 alone because I am worried for my youngest's safety and I can't just focus on him and not the older one. I had a backpack harness for awhile and that helped.
grapefruit / 4492 posts
My 2y3m son is feral. He listens great to his nanny thank god, but me... nope. He looks at me and does whatever it is again while watching me for my reaction. He won't stay seated in the cart, can unclip himself, hates the stroller sometimes, wants to pull everything off of the shelf, wants to walk by himself, doesn't want to hold hands (except in the parking lot thank god), he unlocks and opens doors... The list is never ending.
I had a backpack leash and he snapped the eyelet off of the backpack the first time we used it trying to pull and run away.
I haven't wore him since he was little bitty, but if I was flying with him he would have to be strapped to me and I would have to have ear plugs until he screamed himself into a nap.
I'm sorry I have no advice, but I definitely know the feeling.
coconut / 8483 posts
This is my daughter. She just turned 2. My son was a handful but not like she is. He would sit in the cart and generally wouldn’t run away. My daughter runs away constantly. I’m having baby 3 on Saturday and I can’t take her places alone because I’m not fast enough to chase her. I think I need a backpack with a leash! She seriously doesn’t listen ever. At all! It’s exhausting taking her places. She also has a fit if I try to strap her down when her brother gets to walk. Gah.
persimmon / 1390 posts
DD1 was a runner (I was too). I was on maternity leave with DD2 during the worst of it when she was 2.5 and I just didn’t take the kids anywhere alone. She even broke through the childproof locks on the doors. I would only take her outside when the baby was sleeping or if I brought something out to safely put the baby in because she was so fast that I couldn’t catch her while babywearing without the baby almost flying out. Neither of my kids would be able to sit still for 20 minutes in a store like Kohl’s though—I don’t think that’s weird at all and I totally get their desire to run wild (I don’t know about you but I remember how fun it was to hide in the clothes racks). My strategy was to 1. Not take them shopping ever, and 2. Always buckle the stroller. I would trap DD1 upstairs while I fed DD2, or barricade the door with one of the storage benches we had. DD2 is a bit more trustworthy but like any kid thinks it’s hilarious to run into the street. Again, totally normal. I’m much harsher on her and don’t care what the neighbors think so just pick her up and carry her inside while she screams bloody murder and thrashes. Honestly it seems to work. I’ve only had to do it a few times and she seems to get that if she runs into the street, she has to go inside and playtime is done and she’ll stop for weeks after that. I have heard countless stories of teeny toddlers running away and they all seemed to have grown out of it by age 4.
grapefruit / 4361 posts
Same here and this thread is making me feel so much better bc the only other toddlers I know (3) are so well behaved....
eggplant / 11861 posts
DS is this way also, DD was EASY as can be compared to him!
I try to go out a lot if that even makes sense, the more we go the better he is.
I also try to give him freedom, but take it away calmly the minute he runs or what have you
He is 20 months
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
@josina: @FaithFertility: DD2 is also the way more wild one. Same thing! Runs off, climbs stuff, wants to do everything big sis does which means everything is dangerous, lol.
I basically always have "restraining options". Stroller, carrier, etc for when she is just not listening and I still have to keep an eye on my 3.5 year old. I also bring a plethora of snacks haha.
persimmon / 1345 posts
My 2.5 year old is also like this. His older sister was a rule follower but he isn't and even though we scold him, he doesn't care. He refuses the stroller and he will kick and scream if we try to put him in. Last week, I had to put him in it bc I was baby wearing younger sister and we were on vacation in a new location while I was also holding his older sister's hand. He kicked and screamed so hard the stroller fell over backwards
Even today, he refuses to hold hands while crossing parking lot and such. I have to forcibly hold his hand and he kept yelling that his hand was hurting. I was dead against the baby leash but these days I'm contemplating it.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
You described my daughter. She’s a wild child and always has been! She’s almost 3 now and it has gotten so much better over the last six months. We started implementing time outs and taking things away for not listening and it helps. We started time out right before she turned two. For a year though I couldn’t go anywhere without being able to restrain her. So stroller, carrier, buggy at the store, etc. I couldn’t run errands without her in the stroller with a snack. Oh, bribes work really well too! I’ve had to football carry her kicking and screaming to the car more than once.
ETA: I’m also pretty good about ignoring her throwing a tantrum if she’s restrained and I need to finish up what I’m doing. I don’t care about dirty looks. I won’t let her scream in a library or a restaurant, but if I’m checking out at the grocery store 🤷♀️ Also I offer a lot of praise when she does a good job of listening and holding my hand without fussing.
nectarine / 2987 posts
I know 15 months is young, but my DD understood simple consequences at that age. I would target one behavior. Like maybe you want her to come when you call her. Practice it in little 2 minute sessions a few times a day. Praise praise praise when she does it and do something fun like toss her in the air. At the same time, teach a strong no. So if you say no and the behavior doesn't stop, straight to the time out spot and stand in front of her keeping her there without giving her attention for one minute. Then a simple "when mama says no you have to stop. Let's go play now " and move on. Rinse and repeat.
I would say though that most kids that age would need toys in a stroller to deal with a 20 minute customer service errand so that doesn't sound too wild to me.
pomegranate / 3127 posts
Toddler leash? I know that doesn't look great, but do what you've got to do to keep her safe without losing your sanity.
DD was like that at that age. DH once dislocated her elbow because she randomly stopped in a crossing and was being all honey badger don't care, while a car was rushing at her, and he had to pull her away It was "only" a ten-minute trip to the ER but still... not good. She still didn't start sorta kinda listening until she was maybe 2.5.
The good thing is, she absolutely hates skinning her knees, so now that she's more reasonable, I've convinced her to hold my hand so she doesn't trip and get all scratched up.
persimmon / 1390 posts
@Mama Bird: Just had to share my mom dislocated both my shoulders when I was 4 and being a runner! She wasn’t being aggressive it’s just easy to do.
pear / 1547 posts
@codeitall: I don't have a lot of advice but my 15 mo old is the same way and I just flew solo with her and big sister (3.5 yo, a good rule follower) and buying her a seat on the plane and installing her car seat was worth its weight in gold. We've never bought a seat for a lap infant in our many, many flights to date, but for this solo trip it was amazing! I think she would have jumped out of the plane somehow otherwise