I would love some resources/advice to help with my 5Y0 daughter. She is super smart and is a model student at her pre-K full-day daycare (where she has been since 4months old). She is helpful, friendly and is very focused on good behavior there (maybe too much??).

It's the issues at home that have me concerned. She has always been fairly "fragile" emotionally and we had tantrums starting before she was a year old. She's never been an easy kid and struggles to self-soothe. I thought things had turned a corner at age 4, she became more reasonable and tantrums nearly stopped. Recently, things have gotten so much worse, namely in her whining and trying to control everything in our family life. We fight over clothes, food and what to listen to in the car and her whinning and complaining is so out of control. I lose my patience which I know is a terrible cycle but ignoring her doesn't work and giving into her also seems like a bad pattern. She has a 2YO brother and I do think there is some jealousy there (he is very happy kid), but overall we have a very happy and stable home life so her behavior has me wondering if I'm missing something!!

Basically, I think I need new ways of helping her pull herself out of these moods when she is in them, but I honestly don't know how. Books or tricks that have worked for you are very much welcomed. I am very worried about her transition to kindergarten next year if we don't have better coping mechansims in place. Thank you!!