I don't have any family that are able to watch my kids due to age or location, so we rely on my husband's parents who live nearby to babysit for us. My husband and I love to travel, and he would like for us to go away without the kids one week a year to explore new places together. This sounds great to me, but I also don't want to put too much pressure on the in-laws to babysit. They are in their early 50s and in good physical health, but they say that our kids tire them out, so I'm not sure how much they want to babysit. If your parents/in-laws watch your kids for overnight trips, how often do they do it? I know everyone's circumstances are different, but I'm curious what the average is.
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Our parents (my mom is 70 and inlaws are 69 and 67) have each watched our older daughter for 4 nights.
And inlaws are watching SILs baby girl for a month this summer when they go overseas.
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I'd say my parents (71 and 68) and MIl (70) have watched M for overnights at least every other month since she was about 6 mo. The longest stretch was 4 nights at my parents.
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DD is 3.5 and my parents watched her for two nights when DH and I went to Vegas for a weekend getaway. That was the best! I probably wouldn't ask my parents to watch any more than a weekend though just because I'd feel bad.
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My mom is 62 and she watches my son 4-5 nights every couple of months when it is my busy time at work and my husband has to travel. She will also watch him for a night or two in between. She lives about 90 minutes from us so it just depends on our schedule and where my husband is travelling (he usually does drop off then I will go pick him up on the weekend).
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DD is almost three and both my parents (68 and 65) and ILs (roughly the same ages) have watched her for 3 nights max, maybe 6 times total. We started with 1 night and then as she has gotten older extended the number. I could see leaving her with each set for up to a week if we had a big trip planned. But with LO2 on the way, I don't see that happening any time soon!
ETA: They all LOVE having her and she LOVES being with all of them, so I don't really worry about her missing us or it being too much for them.
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My parents and my in-laws have never watched both kids over night. My DS, who is 3, has slept over at my MIL's for a night even now and then, but that's it. DD is 1.5 and I don't think she will do well sleeping in an unfamiliar place.
ETA: My mom lives with us so she constantly watches the LOs during the day, but never over-night by herself. She is on the older side though.
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Rarely, and only for a couple of days max, but we don't live near anyone and just as our toddler got old enough for it to be really doable, we had a new baby. My mom came up and watched our 2 year old for a long weekend while we went away for our anniversary/ baby moon, and that's the most we have done. Once the baby is closer to two I could see leaving them longer. I know my nephews, who live closer to my parents, have both stayed with my parents (66 and 65) for longer stretches. My brother sometimes makes arrangements for my parents to take his son for 4 days and his inlaws to take 4 days so they can take a long trip without their son, but he's almost 5.
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We haven't done this since no local family (yet) but your DH's idea sounds amazing. Maybe try it out once and see how it goes before you decide how often you might repeat it.
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My parents and mil (all mid 69s) would be more than willing to watch lo overnight but we've never asked-- and lo is just over 2 now. Partly bc I still nursed until 22 months, and I was never away from her overnight until 21 months. I think we're due soon to try this though! Maaaybe if I get pregnant again soon we'll take a short babymoon (which we didn't do w lo1 but sounds nice now!)
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My in laws are in their mid 60s and will watch DD whenever we want. So far we have only asked them to 10 nights I think (longest has been 3 nights). They watch DD 3 days a week already so they're used to it. My parents are mid 50s and not very helpful with their grandchildren despite being active and in great health.
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Our parents would do it a few times a year. Especially my in laws because they don't have any other grandchildren. We're currently on the third night of a trip and I'm ready to be home. It's amazing but it's also hard for me to be away from my baby, as demanding as he is! I think this is about th max is stay away but we could arrange child care longer. My in laws were willing to do this whole trip but my parents wanted to do one night.
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My ILs have offered but we haven't taken them up on it yet. My youngest sister did a weekend a month ago, and my other sister is doing 10 days (!) while we go to Europe in June. Luckily they both love kids and especially DS - and neither of them have kids so they are game!
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4 nights total in 3.5 years. Two one nighters, one two nighter.
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My in laws would never watch our kids for that long. They watched DD1 for one night when I had DD2. We stayed overnight at a local hotel for our anni last summer and asked my BIL and his gf to watch both girls for one night.
ETA: all grandparents are early 60s.
One week, yearly, is a lot of ask imo. But it depends. My mom has done it before for my nephews/niece.
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My parents have kept our son two times, 2 nights each time, starting at 2 years old. They weren't a big fan of thethe idea of doing it before then until he was more independent. My IL's would never and don't keep their other grandkids that are older overnight (ages 8 &5).
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My mom (54), MIL (69), and aunt (42) have eached watched LO for one nighters for a total of 8 times and he's a year old. We are taking a trip in October that will be gone for 4 nights and we are splitting the babysitting in half between my mom and MIL. I don't think I would leave him with my MIL for more than 2 nights. My mom and dad (49 and if he lived close) could easily watch him for a week.
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My daughter is 2 and we've never spent a night away from her. My parents are local and in their 50s/good health. They do watch her for date nights every month or two and my mom will often stay home with her if she is sick or daycare is closed, but my mom always says she's exhausted by the end of the day. And she's never really offered to watch her overnight, which I think she'd do if she wanted to. I think she's nervous about doing overnights, even though my LO generally sleeps just fine, because she just doesn't know what she'd do if she woke up.
I am considering maaaaaaaybe asking my mom to watch LO for 2 or 3 nights some time next fall but I definitely wouldn't ask for a week at this point.
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Oh gosh. My parents are amazing . They live 2 minutes away and my dd1 sleeps over all the time, probably once a week. She loves it there.
They're actually keeping DD2 for us this weekend from Thurs-Mon while we go OOT for a wedding.
My Ils are also awesome and have watched the girls overnights/weekends - but they live 4 hours away so it's usually just easier to have my parents. But we are really lucky to have so much support !
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One night in four years (for a vacation) and they live in the same small town. They also watched DD1 overnight for the two nights I was in the hospital post CS. DH insisted on staying with me.
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My parents and ILs are older than yours and they love taking our LO! She spends the night with grandparents probably every 6 weeks. She is 14 mo and we've done two 2 night away trips so far as well. We definitely plan for longer amounts of time in the future. If your LO is in school or daycare one idea is to keep them there when you are away - grandparents get a break during the day but still get lots of extra time with the kids.
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We've never gone on an overnight trip. My parents had DD1 for 3 nights when I had DD2 and they will have them both over for a sleepover occasionally. I'd say the one night sleepovers are maybe 4 to 6 times a year? We're hoping to go on a fee night vacation in October but not sure if we will make it a yearly thing. My parents are very young (early 40's) so my kids male them tired but they never ever complain. They love it. My husband's parents are considerably older than my parents and they never watch our kids.
I don't think you're asking a lot but if really just depends on your in laws level of involment/desire.
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My ILs and my dad all live in different countries from us so we have to either go to them or they come to us and then we leave again, so it's a logistics nightmare. That said, my ILs, have watched my kids a few times, but the longest we've ever been away is 2 nights. I think they would be able to watch them for a week, but my FIL is pretty hands off, so it would mainly be my MIL and she still works PT, so I would feel bad asking her to take off a week of her work to watch my kids.
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You all are lucky..
Never for us. My mom would want to but they've been in a financially bad place for a long time so.. Maybeeee when they're out..
My mil/Fil never.. We would be being selfish in their eyes haha.. Ok they probably would in an emergency but not so that we can go on a trip
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Would you believe my son doesn't want to spend the night away from home? My dad keeps offering but then my husband feels guilty!
So once or twice, for a night here and there.
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I think we've done twice with my mom and once with my IL's.
My parents live far away so a couple of times they came to stay with LO while we went away.
We went away for a weekend once and MIL watched LO. We plan on going away for a week or so for our anniversary at the end of the summer. She'll probably do it then too.
She would literally do it every weekend if we asked her to. She is obsessed. I probably should take more advantage. -
I guess my parents watched B overnight for 2 nights when I was in the hospital having W, but my husband went home to do dinner/bath/bed both nights. Other than that they've never been away from me overnight, but that's mostly my choice.
How long have they watched the kids so far? Maybe you could try 3 or 4 nights first and see how it goes?
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@mrs.kiwi: could you pay them if you wanted your parents to watch your LO? All of our parents are retired and on fixed incomes, so we pay for them to come visit us (buy the plane ticket or pay their parking while they are here--plus obviously we buy extra groceries for them and if we all go out for dinner, we pay).
My mom is currently visiting, because my husband had to go out of the country for work--we offered to pay her flight, but she decided to drive the 15 hour drive--so instead, we're paying for a parking garage for her car for two weeks. And we gave her spending money for anything she does with the girls.
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We've only been gone for a total of 3 days and my in laws watched, they are in good health and my MIL loves it. My parents have watched for 2 nights, and are also in good health, ect. if we were going to begone for a week I think I would have our parents split it since that is a long time for one set, they would tire out i think.
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DD is 1.5 years old and we've never left her overnight yet! A big reason is that we cosleep so it's a little complicated to have someone else put her to bed and to have to sleep in our bed the whole night and my mom prob won't sleep well b/c she's not used to co-sleeping!
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Our 2 yr old has gone to my ILs for 2 nights at a time about 6x. We also went on a 4 night trip last year and they kept him. They want any time we give them though so they are more than willing. They are the only ones I trust with him though.
We have a 4 night trip planned for October (it will be our first trip completely solo - not with other people - since LO #1 was born), and this will be the first time they keep #1, plus #2 who will be 4 months. I'm nervous to see how they feel about keeping 2 overnight.
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My parents have watched our almost 4 year old overnight one time. His parents never have.
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