Hellobee Boards

I actually think that it's better for older kids, because a lot of the exercises and examples are with conversations between parent and child, that a 2 year old is not really capable of. I do think it's still a good read though!

@daniellemybelle: I really love this book! It's up there in my top 3. I think it depends on what you're looking for. I think the philosophy is applicable and some modified concepts, like teaching feeling words, giving them feeling words during tantrums, treating them with respect and thinking about what's motivating to them, but the actual role played type techniques in the book would be advanced at least for my two year old. I think that if you're looking for a 2 year old ready technique 1, 2, 3 Magic has that type of thing. I guess the other question is philosophical - like what type of approach do you want to take? "How to Talk" and "Love and Logic" are pretty much the opposite ends of the spectrum.

@daniellemybelle: I definitely think 1, 2, 3 Magic is worth the effort - it's really simple and easy to apply if you want something concrete. It's also easy to do consistently between you two, so you can see pretty quickly whether it's something that works. for you.

As far as the differences go, 1, 2, 3 Magic is basically just telling the behaviour you expect, counting to 3 and if you don't get it then you use time out or consequence.

How to Talk so Kids will Listen advocates treating children like autonomous human beings, making sure they feel heard and understood through active listening, and working towards cooperative and respectful solutions.

Love and Logic is a couple of techniques but basically it's set unbendable limits, offer no-choice choices, offer "empathy" (I put it in quotes because some of the empathic statements are things like "bummer"), and when kids screw things then cook up some type of consequence that is fitting but drag it out for awhile. Essentially I guess a good summary is that you're teaching your kids your word is "golden" or unchanging. So that's why I would put I at the opposite end of the spectrum as How to Talk, which advocates talking about behaviour, gaining understanding, and working cooperatively and flexibly with your kids. But that said, I don't like Love and Logic for a number or reasons (such as tone, I think many of the techniques are manipulative, and I read the original edition which advocated starving the family dog and then giving it away without warning) so I might not be doing the technique justice!

@daniellemybelle: I don't think anyone has pointed this out yet but a problem I see with listening to how to talk is that there are cartoons and "homework" that you can't do or relate to in audiobook. I downloaded it as an audiobook from the library and realized it wasn't going to be a good "listen" because of this. I did really enjoy their other book siblings without rivalry though so I'm going to get the actual copy of the book!

@daniellemybelle: my husband and I found the "empathy" statements so hilarious that probably once a day we make something up and use an L and L "empathy" statement from the book. "Honey, we have to put the dog down". Response: "how sad". "Honey, I have been diagnosed with an incurable disease". Response: "bummer". "Honey I got fired". Response: "ohhhhhh".

Another technique in the book that made me lol was where you cook up some harsh response to a problem that as a parent you could actually help with but are choosing not too (because, logic?) like "oh your bike got stolen. Bummer. I am sure you'll enjoy riding your new bike that you bought with your allowance money". Then when your kid is like "what the hell mom?" you shut them down completely with a one liner that you say repeatedly like "I love you too much to argue". Not only is the parent's response totally illogical (how about "let's learn how to file a police report/post an add/check craigslist/check pawnshops") but also one would assume that a book that had logic in the title wouldn't caution against having a logical conversation with you kids if they question your decision making.