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I donno some people are really awkward about that stuff. My MIL had met my grandmother many times and always would say what a great lady she was. She never said anything about it after she died unexpectedly. I saw her maybe 2 weeks later, never said a word. Actually it was really surprising, my grandmother was one of those ladies who was just great to talk to and I'd have friends who would sit alone and spill their guts to her and then rave about how wonderful she was, because she was. Pretty much none of my friends acknowledged when she died except for a brief text that was completely un personal. I never it brought up, wasn't sure how and would have been too emotional anyways. So I just didn't talk to them for awhile , not a great method. But in the end I decided people are just awkward about sickness and death.

I'm very sorry your mom is sick, I hope you get some support during tough times.

Some people are incredibly uncomfortable talking about illness, or anything that isn't cheery. It's not necessarily that they don't care, but just aren't sure how to bring it up and may avoid bringing it up for fear of saying something insensitive. I'm not sure if that describes your situation or not, but it's definitely something I've seen in some friends. I think they do care, but just are worried it will be upsetting or awkward to bring up potentially painful topics...

It wouldn't bother me - I would assume that my brothers were keeping them up to date on everything and talking to them

@hb3233: I agree with this too. I myself have lost a parent so I definitely know what the other side feels like. Even close friends with whom I was in contact regularly didn't really know what to say or do.

When my dad was ill, and eventually passed, I didn't really like talking about it with people. I talked about it with my boyfriend at the time, and my siblings and my mom, but that was it. I would have found it odd to have a SIL or BIL (I have 2 BILS and 2 SILS) would have called me personally to ask how I was doing. I mean, because I assume they know that it sucks to lose a parent, and I didn't like falling to pieces in every conversation, so I just preferred to not talk about it outside my inner circle (of which they are not a part, I understand that depends on the family).

So...maybe they are like me and are operating on the assumption that you are similar. I often do that--treat others how I would want to be treated in that situation--even though clearly, everyone needs something different from these tough life situations.

I would try to not take it personally. Or, if you'd like for them to be in the loop and start asking--bring them into your inner circle. Tell them you've been down recently because of your mom. Tell them you need extra support.

I have a SIL who lives in another state but we do text regularly (mostly about my kids bc they don't have any yet). Her mom has had severe pain in her arm and had to have surgery. I had no idea until my brother told our family months after the surgery actually happened. We had heard of the pain but didn't know it was needing of surgery. Point is: the SIL might not know the details or severity of the situation with your mom. Even if I had known about the surgery, I don't think I would have called her to talk about it esp bc she has never mentioned it specifically to me.

I'd just keep it quiet. It will likely not result in anything positive if you do bring it up. As in, whats the upside? You make them uncomfortable and they withdraw more.
My SIL (actually my ex-SIL now), was terrible at reaching out. I'd send birthday gifts, no acknowledgement. She didn't even reach out when I gave birth (her first niece or nephew BTW). When we hung out she was super nice, personable, and we got along great. But once we were out of sight, its like we didn't exist on her radar. Thankfully my BIL is da bomb and amazing and thank goodness he walked away from that hot mess.

I'm sorry about your mom. Given this seems par for the course when it comes to your SILs I would not say anything about it. Feel free to share any news you care with them about your mom if it helps talking about her situation. I just wouldn't expect a whole lot of empathy in return.

I'm really sorry about your mom. I lost my mom a few years back after a long battle with cancer. I don't think my SIL ever really reached out, and that was ok with me. We are friendly in person but we aren't friends, if you know what I mean. We don't text (except occasionally to share photos of our LOs) or call or email. So it didn't seem odd to me that she didn't check in. When I saw her in person, she would ask about my mom, and that was enough for me. Her husband is going through something similar right now (his father has terminal cancer) and my DH and I do the same thing. We ask about him when we see them in person but we don't really text or call to check in. Part of it is, for me, that I know what terminal cancer is like. He is not going to get better. So I don't want to ask how he is doing because I know the answer will always be a sad one.

Anyway, not sure where I am going with this except maybe it's just the nature of your relationship. If you are actually close to them but they have just been silent about this one thing, I think it's worth bringing up to them. Maybe just to say that it would help you to talk about it every so often. But if not, they probably feel awkward or like they don't know you well enough to check in about such a personal thing. Or they may have no idea how serious it is. Either way, I'd probably let it go unless you are close to them and think it is worth it.