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@Cole: can you MIL bring the grandfather to your house for a visit?

Why can't you guys just get a hotel room and stay for the weekend?

I would get a hotel room! But also, 4 hours isn't too bad (I mean, in the hotel room/overnight scenario). My LO has always been a car seat hater, but she is surprisingly fine as long as one of us is in the back, so on longer trips one of us is always back with her.

We used to always drive NYC-Toronto (8 hours) in one go to see DHs family, but since LO is a car seat hater, we have always split the trip into two days and stayed overnight in a cheap hotel on the way. We usually drive 4 hours after work on a Friday and another 4 hours Saturday morning and it's much better that way. Same thing coming back.

Now that LO is older, we could probably do the 8 hours in one go.

Don't have any suggestions, but you are most definitely not crazy! I think grandparents often forget how difficult it is to travel with an infant. My in-laws always want us to go to their house which is an hour and a half away so round-trip three hours. It's just not something I want to do every single weekend with the baby. Let alone for hours each way! I think grandparents often forget how difficult it is to travel with an infant. My in-laws always want us to go to their house which is an hour and a half away so round-trip three hours. It's just not something I want to do every single weekend with the baby. Let alone four hours each way!
I think your husband is probably letting his desire for his grandfather to meet his great granddaughter cloud his judgment. I'm not really sure how to get around that because we have the same kind of issues in our house as well. Maybe before you take the trip you can go against your instinct and take a shorter trip maybe an hour each way so that your husband can see what the reaction is like. Don't time it with naps like you normally do, because there's no way you could time in eight hour round-trip with naps anyway! Let him see what it would be like and then ask if he would really want to do that for eight hours in one day.

@Cole: I would just go and stay for a few hours and leave then - get a hotel if its too much time to spend in the car in 1 day

My husbands grandma is like that - we drive 4 hours to see her for 15 mins and then she is like "Ok well I have to go to church, bye"

@Cole: another thought would be to leave at naptime - have your visit - then head home at bedtime - long day but maybe you can get her to sleep most of the time

I think that meeting the great grandfather is super important. I would attempt it, but with a back up plan. Best case scenario you do a there and back. If it goes terribly, you have a caveat saying that you will stop and get a hotel room if things get really bad. I would leave early in the morning and try to tire out the LO throughout the day, and try to leave close to bedtime. Its not ideal, but better than something happening then LO not getting to meet him.

Are there any attractions that is close to your grandfather that you guys could go see? It will be a dual purpose trip. You can take the whole weekend to do it and stay at a hotel.

NOPE! This is why my grandparents didn't get to meet Xander until he was 16 months (and still haven't met Logan at 6 months). There's absolutely no way I was driving anywhere that would take longer to get there than his nursing schedule. And when we did go, we did it over a long weekend - so timed the drive with Xander's morning nap, spent the night, the next day, and then timed the drive home with his nap the following day.

If you go, definitely spend the night somewhere. Do not spend 8 hours in the car on one day! That will be torturous for everyone involved. And if you can, meet somewhere in the middle instead of having to drive 4 hours.

I wouldn't make that a daytrip without kids, let alone with a baby. I would definitely stay in a hotel before driving back!

I would drive the 4 hours but stay the night in a hotel. That is way too much driving for me for one day....even without a baby!

@Cole: Ya, I would get a room too. Good luck!

You might hate my advice and that's fine, but I would try to wing it on a day trip! Elderly involved. I actually think an overnight with an infant is harder!

Not unreasonable! But maybe I say that because I'm in the same position. DH (and his whole family) want us to go on the annual family vacation to the beach (10 hours away). And hold over my head that it could be the last year for it(even though they've said that for the last 3). But with 6 month old twins and a 2 1/2 year old, I'm not really on board. It's like they scream in a round. It's torture for 1 hour so I can't even fathom 2 -5 hour days. Oh and then do it all again 4 days later.

Sit in the back with him for sure and get a hotel room. Even if you don't spend more then a few hours with him, I'm sure you can find something fun to do in the area.

My family and ILs live 2-2.5 hours away and I wouldn't even do that in one day, let alone two four hour trips. I would definitely get a hotel room.

I have done it. It wasn't fun and I had to sit in the back of the car the entire way and I wouldn't recommend it. If you can, I would definitely split it up and stay overnight.

I would make a weekend out of it. get a hotel and plan some activities the next day that you can do around the area.