Over the last few days, 2 semi-friends from college have announced their pregnancy news, and both are due around the time I would've been if I didn't m/c. Also, another friend posts several pregnancy things daily. So yesterday I set them all to "only important" updates showing up in my feed. I feel a little selfish about this, but I feel that its better if I limit the baby stuff I see on FB to keep myself in good spirits.
What do you do, if anything to limit baby stuff on FB?
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
I'm sorry. I think its nice that FB allows you to filter to "only important updates" so that you don't have to see every last update from them. I do this with several of my friends. Hopefully it helps.
pomelo / 5228 posts
Emotionally I'm actually OK now, this was more of a preventative measure really. And I agree, its nice that FB allows this! I probably should just unfriend the 2 due around my m/c, since I haven't talked to them in many many years, but can't pull the trigger quite yet.
pear / 1769 posts
Aww, that is rough and I completely get where you are coming from. I wouldn't want those reminders either!
kiwi / 545 posts
I try to bypass their posts but sometimes when I go onto FB they had just posted their news which is hard, especially now that people who are due around the time I would have been are announcing their pregnancies now. Filtering is a good idea. I try to limit the amount of times I go onto FB so that there's a less chance of seeing their news. Happy for them but the reminder for me of what could have been just hurts.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I think it's completely reasonable. I understand why you think it seems selfish, but sometimes we have to do what's best for ourselves even if it seems selfish. You have to take care of yourself and it's only Facebook. I did then same thing.
nectarine / 2600 posts
I did the same exact thing. I "unsubscribed" from so many people in the last year. You have to do what you have to do!
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I was unfriended by a few people when I was pregnant, at least that is what I think caused it. I am fine with it, if that's what they need to do to get through, then that is understandable. I try not to feel badly.
cantaloupe / 6791 posts
I deleted my Facebook for a few months after my m/c. I just ignored the stuff right after, but when my due date was getting close and I still wasn't pregnant again, it was just too much. The day I deleted it, I had seen one girl who was a few weeks ahead of me have her baby and 2 more announced pregnancies. I had a bit of a meltdown and decided Facebook wasn't worth it.
pomelo / 5628 posts
I hid all pregnant people and new moms from my feed while ttc. It was so much easier once I did. After I had the baby, I almost forgot that there were all these other people I was friends with!
Not bad or weird at all...you have to do what you need to survive.
Good luck!
kiwi / 526 posts
I have a LOT of people on hide, and I deactivated my account altogether for about 2 months when I really couldn't deal with it anymore. I've reactivated it since, but I only log in every now and then, and I still have the majority of my "friends" on hide.
bananas / 9899 posts
I think many can say they've been there. I don't think it makes you selfish at all. It's rough to hear about everyone else's pregnancy and babies when you are trying to have one yourself.
I recently hid updates from my ex-boyfriend who just had his first kid and I set one of my closer friends to "important updates only" because she also just had a baby and it's all she posts about.
You don't NEED to have to hear about this stuff constantly just because you use Facebook! Don't feel guilty at all.
bananas / 9118 posts
When we were having trouble, it felt like everyone on earth was pregnant but me. I hid anyone who updated frequently that was pregnant or had a new baby, I just couldn't handle it.
It definitely put things in perspective for me once I did get pregnant, I made sure not to complain about pregnancy or baby on Facebook and kept my updates to a minimum as I have a few friends who have trouble trouble getting/staying pregnant and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt them. I also made sure to approach them first before word got out and told them I understand if they don't want to be in contact for a while.
kiwi / 640 posts
I agree, I don't think it's selfish at all. It's Facebook. After 2 m/c, I initially hid a few people but it was still really painful, so I stopped checking it all together. It was liberating after the first week or so and made me feel SO much better not to have all those baby and pregnancy updates in my face.
Maybe try giving yourself a 1 or 2 week hiatus?
pomelo / 5228 posts
@lemondrop: This has definitely taught me how I want to treat FB when I do finally get pregnant. I'll for sure remember to keep it to a minimum, if I say anything at all!
@buffalove: Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm actually fine emotionally right now. This was more preventative really. Since I've been on HB, I'm not nearly as addicted to FB as I used to be 
bananas / 9118 posts
@Mrs.Someone: It's hard, because I use FB to stay in touch with friends and family far away, I love the convenience. I liked to share some things, just not every ache, pain, and reflux. Of course one can do whatever they want on their page, it is everyone else's choice to see it or not 
Now that my little guy is a toddler, I feel better sharing the crazy things he gets into with my friends and family. I know it wouldn't have bothered me as much 3 years ago to see a toddler than a baby or a baby bump, and laughing at what he gets into would have made me feel better.
Thinking of you ladies, wishing you only the best!
cherry / 132 posts
I have definitely felt the need to ditch FB. It has felt like almost once a week a new friend post a bump pick or writes a pregnancy announcement. Don't even get me started on the constant baby pictures. I have a friend who posts a minimum of 4 pictures a day. As you have all said I am very happy for all of my friends who are expecting and or are new mamas but it does get hard and I have had to hide people.
One positive experience was a not so close friend posted an ultrasound of her baby who she is having via surrogate and wrote the most touching post about her struggle with IF and the surrogacy process. I was crying as I read this post, because I think the hardest part about seeing all these people posting there new baby pictures or pregnancy announcements is that it makes you feel like it is so easy for everyone else. Having my friend post about her infertility reminded me that once again that its not easy for everyone and that most people aren't as open to sharing their struggles on FB.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
FB doesn't bother me. Well, I don't use FB as much now so maybe that's why.
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