What would you prefer from someone trying to help you out- a check just to you for a set amount, or an offer to pay for something specific? I said in another thread that my mom is probably coming up on time to make end of life decisions for her cat, and she doesn't have a ton of money to pay vet bills. DH and I would like to help with that. If we can make it possible for the cat to be comfortable for even an extra week together we want to do it. But my mom isn't going to be big on accepting anything from us. I can barely keep her from paying me for my gas to take the cat to the vet for her, much less pay for the vet itself. If you were in her shoes, would you prefer a straight check, or for us to just take over the vet bills? I'm inclined to go with a check (or possibly cash, so she can't just not deposit it), so that she doesn't feel like she needs to run any treatment plans by us, or worry that she's going over whatever amount we plan to pay. But I'd appreciate any input!
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If I were you, I would pre-pay whatever amount you are comfortable with straight to the vet. If your mom needs that $$, it will be there and if she doesn't end up needing to use that fund, the vet can refund you.
I recently have had to help my parents financially with some larger items purchases, and my parents are not the type to ever ask for help or allow me to help, so this sort of indirect method has worked best for me.
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@yoursilverlining: Ooh, I didn't even think of that as an option. That might be a really good idea.
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I agree with @yoursilverlining: Iused to work at a vet and we would have people prepay towards other peoples accounts, or sometimes their own account. That way your mom cant argue or refuse.
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I agree with others to pay the vet directly. One of those it's already done she can't say no now type things.
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Yeap, we've done that for people in other situations (legal advice) and just pre-paid a set amount and told them to go see the attorney. Once they got there, the attorney told them how much service they were entitled to and they really couldn't refuse at that point - the money's already been paid.
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Agree with others and prepay the vet. Also, I would ask them to factor in whatever amount you have already prepaid when they discuss it with your mom. This way she only has to make a decision about the treatment plans based on her out of pocket expenses.
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Another thing that might be really meaningful to her (or not!) but that she might feel awkward or inappropriate budgeting for would be cremation. That usually has a set price and could just be paid in advance.
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Agree with above to pre-pay... They can prob just take your card info and charge whatever it ends up being right?
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I'd either just offer to cover expenses at the vet's office and tell mom it was paid, or give her cash and tell her you aren't taking no for an answer
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Just a follow up, I did pre-pay with the vet (and had them put a note in the file to call me when the amount we put down is gone). My mom's first reaction was "you can't do that!" But I can, and I did, and she's very grateful. Thank you all for the help!
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@Torchwood:
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@Torchwood: That is awesome that you did that for her.
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12 comments