Do you assume it's ok to also bring siblings? Does it depend on where the party is being held?
I'm planning my son's 3rd birthday at a gymnastics gym. We want to invite his whole daycare class. There are 24 kids in his class and we can only have 25 at the party, plus we have friends with kids we'd like to invite. I know not everybody will come but I don't want a bunch of older siblings instead of friends.
76 votes
squash / 13208 posts
I assume its just for the child that was invited and only ask if a sibling can come if I am solo parenting that weekend
eggplant / 11861 posts
I would just bring the invited child unless the sibling is under age
Ex: if DD was invited
I would bring DS but he is only 2 months old
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
I feel like most parents assume siblings are invited unless it's explicitly stated otherwise on the invite. I had a lot of ppl rsvp for multiple children and it was super stresssful trying to accommodate all the extra kids 
nectarine / 2964 posts
It is so sad that there is never a clear etiquette about it! Most people who are considerate and understanding would only bring the child who is invited, but so many of them also bring their entire family. It is frustrating especially when some of these places charge by the head count! Wish there were a "Parent Handbook" being distributed when people are giving birth at the hospital 
ETA: Thinking about it, we did a party at a children's museum when LO turned 3. They charge per head and it was 20 people max, kids and adults and birthday party included (!!!). On our invitation card, I made it look like a train ticket, and I wrote on the card that "this invitation is good for 1 child + 1 adult". Most people RSVP and I emailed them to double check, but there was definitely no confusion.
hostess / papaya / 10219 posts
I would assume its only the invited. But I've had people show up with siblings to our parties. Not a problem at a house party but at a venue, that's not cool.
pomegranate / 3350 posts
It totally depends for me. For our friends that we all have 2-3 kids all around the same age, yes I will assume the invitation is for all of us. School parties I only bring the one invited (plus non-mobile baby but I don't think that counts).
nectarine / 2085 posts
I feel like for non drop-off parties, it's kind of odd to not invite siblings. Both parents are invited, right?
pomegranate / 3768 posts
Class party just the child that is invited. Friends party I bring both my kids.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
We are talking daycare/ school friend invites? I would assume it's just the invited child. I think it's odd to think the entire family is invited to participate in a child's birthday if guest sibling is not friends/ does not know party child.Unless the parents know each other well, how would party mom even know that guest mom has additional LOs?
apricot / 370 posts
In that situation (school invite) I would assume just the invitee. If it was a child of one of my friends it would be different, I would assume the whole family was invited.
grapefruit / 4584 posts
What @dolphin: said. At my DDs' current ages (4.5, 2.5 - not counting the 7 week old), I assume school parties or friends we don't know as well are only for the child invited. When it's a mom I'm friends with who has other children, I assume the sibling is invited - but still double check when it's at a pay-per-head type of venue.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
If it's a personal / family friend then I would assume siblings are invited but if it was a daycare friend then I would assume it was just the invited child.
nectarine / 2085 posts
I guess I'll revise my opinion. It looks like there may be another protocol for parties where guests' families are not necessarily known to the parents of the birthday child and the party isn't a drop-off/elementary school party.
LO wasn't in daycare, so we never got invites for toddler birthdays from anyone who didn't know us. But at the preschool he went to, the party invitations he got were clearly for the entire family, and most of the time the siblings of the other invitees came. His class was small, so I assume the parents throwing the parties knew which children had siblings and expected them. Anyhow, in a situation where you want to invite children whose families you don't know, I guess it would be more like a drop-off party invite in that probably only the invited child should go. Although that still feels kind of strange to me when we're talking about really young children who have to have an adult accompany them.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
All the parties Xander has been invited to usually say something like "siblings welcome!" and when they don't, I ask. I never assume it's okay to bring extra people to a party!
pomelo / 5573 posts
Thanks, everybody - this makes me feel less stressed. If it wasn't at a place with a maximum head count I wouldn't mind siblings, but I just had visions of 18 classmates all showing up with an extra person.
@skipra: oh definitely, if it's a friend I would assume everybody was invited, but I don't know any of these parents (or actually even the kids, most of them I couldn't pick out of a lineup).
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
If I'm hosting at a place that can only hold a certain number of kids, I would mention it on the invite: "Due to space restrictions, invitee and parent(s) only, please".
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I only have one child, so it's not an issue in terms of who I am bringing, but unless the invite is clearly addressed either to the family or multiple children, I don't understand where the confusion lies.
pomelo / 5220 posts
I think this is a big "it depends" situation. For example, if it was at someone's house - I would assume all of us could go. If it was a structured activity, such as a gym class or a museum trip, I would assume it was just the LO who was invited. If it was a close friend, I would assume they were inviting all of us but if it was a daycare invite, I would only bring a sibling if it was noted that he could come.
The exception would be if sibling was like 5 months old and I would just be baby wearing him the whole time anyway/he wouldn't be participating in the gym class, etc.
persimmon / 1071 posts
@erinbaderin: I'm really surprised by a lot of these answers. I would never assume I could drop off multiple kids to a birthday party where only one was invited.
Granted, most of the birthday parties around here are casual house parties, but I still wouldn't assume everyone was invited if only one child's name was on the invite, I also would not call to ask if I could bring the entire family.
The only exception would be my friends kids/family parties... but even then the person having the party wouldn't just put one persons name on the invite...
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I'd assume it's for the invited child only but I'd ask if I need to bring another with me.
pomegranate / 3355 posts
@skipra: @AB810: @Kemma: same as these ladies.
If it was a family friend I would assume all kids, if it's school/daycare I'd assume just the invitee and I'd ask about addl kids if necessary (ie: it was a solo parenting weekend)
pineapple / 12566 posts
I assume it's for the invited child only. If we are friends with the parents and it's not a venue party, then I might ask.
pomegranate / 3272 posts
We just had DS1's birthday party and invited his whole daycare class (20 kids, yikes!) plus several of our friends' kids. We had it at a place where the fee included up to 20 and then you paid a fee for each extra. Everyone rsvp'd just for the intended invitee except my friend who asked if she could bring her younger daughter. She was concerned about cost. However, there were a few other people who ended up bring their other kids with them to the party. Most were younger so they didn't count and it was at a place where they could run around. One brought their older daughter but was just going to have her sit with the ipad. I told her to join in. Luckily 2 kids who rsvp'd yes didn't show up so I was fine either way.
All that said, I would never assume that a daycare party meant bring all of the kids. Usually DH stays home with DS2 since the baby is usually napping at that time. Plus, I'm more social with the other parents than DH.
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
If it is a friend of mine, they usually invite us as a family. For preschool friends, I assume just the invited child. I sometimes bring DS too because of childcare issues, but I wear him so he doesn't use the facilities or eat the food. When he is too old to be worn I would definitely not bring him along.
coconut / 8430 posts
For a daycare friend I would assume the invited child only. However if it's the child of my friend, I would assume all of us are all invited.
@looch: I haven't received any printed birthday invitations in the past 2 years. Only emailed ones and they are emailed to me.
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