Hello, I'm sorry this a longgg post. I know everyone time is precious, so please skip it if you don't have the time to spare. Thank you very very much, and I really appreciated for your help give me advice. Please tell me if my husband is controlling or not. And what would you do if you in my situation.

A bit of my background, I feel that perhaps this is the roots of my problem.. I didn't have a good childhood. I grow up hearing my mother belittle me, verbally/emotionally abusive to me, and taking out her anger on me. It is the daily verbally abuse and belittle that strip down all my self-worth. To her, I worth less than a dog on the street.
I left my mother house more than a decade ago, and started my life over from scratch. It was really hard being a girl and alone out there in life, but it was all worth it because of freedom. I'm not a fish in a bowl, I'm not a bird in a cage, I'm not a remote control for my mother to control.

All my life, I work at miminum wage jobs. It not alot of money, but I was able to survived on my own without anyone help. I don't need my controlling mother at all.
To me the minimum wage jobs help give me self-worth. It help me know that I at least worth something, that I'm not worth less than a dog on the street like how my mother belittle me.

I was able to make my own choice for my own life, this was what I always goes after. Freedom and independence is the most important thing to me, to me it is like breathing.

Fortunately, I'm married to a very patience and understanding guy. My husband know all about my emotional childhood baggage and he accept it all. He accept me for who I am.
I make it very clear that after marriage and when we have kids. I will always continue to work minimum wage job. And he okay with it, because he knows how much this minimum wage job help give me with my self-worth.
NEVER once he went back on his words on me.. But now seem like he change his mind, regarding let me work when pregnant and after have kids.

Right now I work in Retail (Shoe department), pay hourly and commission. In Retail you have to be on your feet, running back and forth cashier register, get shoe for customers to try on, etc...
It not always busy. But it will definately get busy when the Thanksgiving/Christmas holiday season come.

My husband have baby fever. And I promise him that we TTC in 2016, and it approaching up.
He is the type of husband that always let me have things my way so I can be happy. He doesn't argue with me, he doesn't disagree with me. So far there no fighting or arguemnts in our marriage.. It been a smooth and peaceful marriage. So peaceful that ugh.. sometimes I ask myself, if me and him are normal or not.

Well, now he no longer let me have things my way. He now voice his opinion and said his needs. He said that I should quit my Shoe Retail job, and get an office job instead.
An Office job like receptionist, any office/desk type of job. As long as I be sitting instead of running around on my feet. And his reasons are below:

---An Office job will be better for me during pregnancy and post-pregnancy. Since we will TTC in 2016, he said I should start looking for an Office job now.
He doesn't want me to carried my pregnant stomach be on my feet getting shoe for people to try on, like how my Retail job is right now.. He make it very clear that he doesn't want me to be pregnant, and work in Retail, at all.

---He said because I know how to use well Microsoft Office: Microsoft Excel, Powerpoint and Word.
And I type over 120 word per minute. And I speak fluently 3 languages. He thinsk I should use these skills to get an office job.
I did work at an office job once, but it was a long time ago in the past. But that do count as I have some experience.
He thinks I should use my skills and previous experience to go find an office job now.
He said any office job I want, Chinese Dentist office, Chinese Doctor office, business office, anything I want. As long as it an office job.

---My husband does work alot. He work 1 full time job m-f weekdays. And 1 part time job sat-sun weekend.. So he wants us to spend time together as much as we can.
We always eat late dinner together. But when Retail job get very busy during Thanksgiving Black Friday/Christmas time, I will have to work late and miss out dinner with him.
He doesn't' want me to work late during holiday time in Retail. He wants me to be at home and spend holiday family time with him.

---He said he make enough for me to stay home. So if I want to work, it MUST be an Office job. Or else stay home, TTC and give birth to a healthy baby.
He far far from rich, but he does make almost 4 times more than me. Financially it not a problem.
We both are Not big spender, and we both are Debt-free. Right now he alone make $70,000 a year, sometimes he make a bit more. He also do get yearly raise. I know he doing fine by himself alone with his income.

But I feel that he not getting it, it NOT about the money. It about my childhood experience, and my need of freedom and independence.
Arg! But he make it loud and clear that If it not an Office job. Then he wants me to stay home give birth, and stay home take care of the baby.

---He knows I married him resulted in my family disown me. My mother didn't approved him, she thinks I bring shame to the family. And make her 'Lose face" to the close-knit Chinese community where she live.
I have alot of pressure from my family and the Chinese community where my mom live. I feel "isolated" because I have zero family support, zero family to turn to.
He knows all about this, and he knows how "isolated" I feel. So get an Office job at Chinese Dentist/Doctor office. Perhaps it can let me be closer to the Chinese environment and closer to my roots.

I know my husband probably just want the best for me. But what bothering me is that he knows all about my childhood struggling. He knows how important independence is to me. He knows how much I hate when someone trying to make choices for my life.
I struggle alot internally inside, I fight so hard to break free from my mother controlling. I fight hard to have the freedom that I have right now, the freedom to make my own choice.

But now my husband is making the choice for me. He pick a job for me to work, the job that he wants aka Office job. He make it loud and clear that it must be an Office job, or stay home and let him support me.

I don't love Retail, I don't love running around getting shoe for customers to try on. But Retail was my choice, the choice I make.. Just like the choice I make when I chose him over my family. But I have no regrets, because it my choice, the choice I that make myself.
Now I feel that he trying to take my freedom to make a choice.. If now I listen him and get the office job just because he told me so. That means I lose this battle, the battle I fight so long to get my freedom and independence.

Is what my husband doing is controlling? Just to be fair to him, he does have the tendency to be over-protective. Like he doesn't let me to climb on a chair to change the dead lightbulb on top of the ceiling. He worried I will fall off the chair.. He doesn't let me carried supermarket bags, he doesn't let carried laundry. He prefer to carried it all for me.
He doesn't let me do anything heavy around the house at all. All the maintenance and heavy things around the house he volunteer do it. All I have to do is cook and wash dishes.

He keeps pressing me to start looking for an Office job now. Frankly, I don't have have listen to him and keep work in Retail. But then I feel that there will be an Argument going on, because he make it very clear that he wants me to work in an Office job environment.

I don't know what to do. Half of me think that he right, because office job is better for me during and post pregnancy. But then half of me is fighting inside, because of my childhood, I hate hate it when someone make a choice for me and for my life.

What would you do if you under my situation? If you in my marriage, what would you do? Regarding my husband and his keep pressing for me to get an Office job.
I'm sorry for the long post and vent, but I want to get this off my chest. It just so much struggling I have inside, all these internal conflicst inside I keep having. arg!

This year I'm 30, he's 29 (he turn 30 next month in Sept)
I don't know if the baby can wait, but I promise him we TTC in 2016 next year.