My husband says a phrase he picked up from MIL I hate. He says "I'm going to whatever the MESS out of something." Every time I hear it, I see MIL in my head. How do I train him not to say it?
My husband says a phrase he picked up from MIL I hate. He says "I'm going to whatever the MESS out of something." Every time I hear it, I see MIL in my head. How do I train him not to say it?
papaya / 10570 posts
@swedishfish:
Or you could go for a reverse reward chart. Start off the month with ten stars that represent ten BJs. Every time he says the phrase, remove one. You never know, you might start to love the phrase....!!!
honeydew / 7811 posts
@Cherrybee: I am stealing this star chart idea for so many things!!!!
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
You could ask him to not say it.
Sometimes communication works.
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
@Mrs. Polish: this. Just ask him.
If that doesn't work, squirt him with water. Totally works on my cats.
grapefruit / 4136 posts
@Cherrybee: HAHAHAHAHA bj's would have to be in the equation first in our house
persimmon / 1171 posts
@Cherrybee: muahaha (: BJ chart would be awesome!
My husband says a phrase I hate too and I just remind him EVERY time that I'm not a fan. He says it a lot less now (:
grapefruit / 4997 posts
@cascademom: What does that mean actually? I don't think I have heard it before.
papaya / 10570 posts
@Kimberlybee: I imagine its the equivalent of the UK phrase "something the crap out of something". Like "scare the crap out of her" or "beat the crap out of him"..... it means, like, do it a lot until all the poop falls out! So, to use Cascadedad's phrase, Im going to taser the mess out of my husband! Ugh, it really is uglier with the word mess, huh?!
grapefruit / 4997 posts
@Cherrybee: oh ok got it! Yeah that sounds really serious when you add that "mess" in there.
grapefruit / 4235 posts
@cascademom: My husband has some sayings that I've asked him not to say repeatedly. I'm sure you've tried that first before asking a message board for advice.
But have you told him specifically that it reminds you of his mom? That might help...I've found that if DH is doing something that reminds me of his mom, and I tell him that directly, he usually stops, for some reason.
eggplant / 11408 posts
@Cherrybee: I the reverse reward chart. And you for bringing that up
eggplant / 11408 posts
@Cherrybee: uh oh, I showed DH your idea, and he likes the regular reward chart idea...he says "I get a star every time I do dishes, take out the trash, take out the dog..."
I may have created a monster. Crap
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
@Mrs. Polish: um, agreed. I usually just ask my husband to do/not do things. I don't "train" him.
pomelo / 5678 posts
I would just say, "honey, could you please not say (...)" My husband prefers really straight forward communication.
pomegranate / 3791 posts
My DH has a few words or phrases he says completely incorrectly because he picked it up from MIL. Every time I either correct him or say something like that makes no sense, that's not a word, cut it out, etc. It's gotten better. I'm assuming he knows it bugs you, right?
coconut / 8861 posts
@wonderstruck: I confronted him about it after he said it for the millionth time this weekend. I said something to the effect of "I hate that phrase." He asked why. I just said that I hate it. It's awkward. He scolded me for saying "crap" the other day which I thought was ridiculous. I don't know where this clean language thing with him came from because we've been swearing with each other for nearly a decade.
He has gotten better when I corrected him on the mispronunciation of "obviously." MIL adds a few "h's" in there among other letters. I noticed yesterday that he's saying it correctly again. I think it's going to be a lifetime of correcting mispronunciations picked up from MIL who admits that she can't speak eloquently.
On the same weekend, we had the frustrating conversation about his involvement in cooking, pantry, etc. He referred to something I said as "mean." I told him not to use that phrase as well because it's juvenile. I'm convinced that he has an emotional vocabulary of a tween thanks to my MIL. So, that's what I'm up against. We'll see how much he uses that godawful phrase again. He did it right before watching Doctor Who. I was so close to walking out of the room for that one because of that stupid phrase. Don't ruin Doctor Who with images of MIL as you say her dumb phrases.
grapefruit / 4400 posts
Well, to be fair, you weren't exactly honest with him when he asked by you hated it! And it sounds like it's more of an issue you have with your MIL than what he says... I would just let it go.
My husband teases me with words that irk me and it's all in good fun I canNOT help but shudder when I hear the words "panties," "regular (as in pooping)," and he sometimes farts and says "uh-oh" as a joke... I feel like he's on the verge of crapping his pants!
coconut / 8861 posts
@HabesBabe: If I mentioned MIL, he would have flipped out. I picked this battle and how I played it. For me, it's definitely the association with her. I get that. I figure less use of the phrase in the house will not have associations with her in our daily life.
pomegranate / 3791 posts
@cascademom: I totally understand! I get less argument from my husband though because I am an English major and really care about proper spelling and grammar. He, on the other hand, doesn't really care and often doesn't know the difference and trusts me on it. So with us it's generally just me saying, "That makes zero sense grammatically and it's driving me crazy, can you PLEASE day it correctly/use a different phrase?" Sometimes I'll throw in something about how I know it's weird and I'm sorry, but it's just a pet peeve of mine.
Plus, phrases that don't make any sense it totally different than swearing. As far as the thing about word 'mean' goes, I'd probably just make more of an effort to get him to elaborate. Ask him why he thinks it's mean or how it makes him feel. I know that's basic, but I could be effective.
My MIL says mushmellow instead of marshmallow, liberry instead of library, sirloin has an sh sound at the beginning of it...it drives me INSANE. No wonder my DH needed speech therapy when he was a kid!
papaya / 10570 posts
@cascademom: She must have stolen the H from my mum's alphabet!! She is forever dropping hers. "I'm 'ungry", "I'm going to the 'ospital" "The 'orse racing is on". AGH! Drives me crazy!!
coconut / 8861 posts
@Cherrybee: haha, lol! I have no idea why she does it with her pronunciations of words. I'm just hoping that LO doesn't pick up them. We already have to worry about her baby talking to a 15 month old during Christmas.
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