Hellobee Boards

@Foodnerd81: Great point about the gas though. I guess it's different because you are right there?

@jlm22: I disagree with this. What do you think is going to happen when the child is in the car for .02 seconds by themselves? What are the statistics that show how likely it is that your car is likely to be broken into and your child kidnapped after being left alone for 2 minutes or 5 minutes? Sure, there is a possibility, but there's also a possibility that your kid could run away from you in a parking lot and get hit by a car. And you can pay attention to the moving cars on the road but that doesn't mean you can necessarily prevent an accident with a driver who isn't paying attention...but it's a calculated risk that you take, choosing to drive a car.

I am really happy about this, because I think that parents need to be trusted to use their own judgment. I believe there are times when it's just fine to leave your kids strapped in their carseats in the car as opposed to getting them out of their seats and taking them in. Of course it all depends on the weather, how long you're going to be in the store, maybe whether you can see the car...but the point is that it should be up to the parent and not the state to make that judgment call, especially for something under 5 minutes (definitely not saying kids should be left alone for an hour or something...).

I wouldn't think twice about leaving a kid in the car at a pit stop type errand- ATM (where I sit in my car until it's my turn) or drop off a package at the post office (not having to talk to a teller) or pick up pre-paid dry cleaning. These activities take less than 4 minutes.

I think people underestimate how much time they actually spend running individual errands. Even in this article the author says going to the bread shop was a minute long errand and then she says it's 30 seconds. Unless she called in her order and prepaid over the phone or she knew exactly what the amount was and she parked right outside of the shop and she didn't have to select the bread herself (I like to feel fluff) I doubt that errand was less than a minute.

I know it's not always feasible to leave your kid behind with a SO or babysitter, but sometimes kids just need to be left home.

While I don't think leaving a child in the car for 5min is abuse, I just can't imagine doing it with F until he is at 6+ years old. It's a combination of feared judgement and what ifs. I still won't even leave him in the car in garage while I carry the groceries upstairs. I dunno, can't really predict how you feel about these things until in the thick of it. I wouldn't judge someone per say, but at the same time there is just no way for a stranger to know how long a kid has been in the car, and there is probably a gut reaction to protect a kid you see alone.

@wonderstruck: I also leave L in the car while paying for gas (if for some reason I don't pay at the pump). I've hesitated because I don't want someone getting crazy on me for doing it, but seriously, I can see the car. It's 2 minutes that it takes me to stand in line and punch my pin into the debit machine.

I am really, really happy about this. Parents shouldn't have to worry about if the cops are going to get called on them because they run into a store for a minute or pay for gas. I've had to do this when I was alone and it was raining. I left H in the car for two minutes while I ran in and paid for my gas (the pump wasn't working). The windows were halfway down, she was asleep, I could see her, and it was cool outside, but the entire time I was afraid someone would call the cops.

@wonderstruck: yep, I have way more fear about my kid getting hit in the cart or stroller in a parking lot that I always load her in the car first before putting groceries away!

@jlm22: I know, everyone has their own comfort levels and that's fine! I am more worried about someone calling the police or CPS than someone abducting them...so this kind of ruling is a relief to me. If my kids are buckled in their car seats I don't think they can do anything while I go in and get my dry cleaning (where I can see the car from the store window), but I wouldn't leave them in the car for just any errand (going into Target, etc).

I think this is a very good step by the state. Circumstances need to be taken into account before they slap someone with a criminal record that will affect them for the rest of their lives. There is a huge difference between leaving the car running on a cool day while you pick up the dry cleaning and leaving your young kid in the car on a 95 degree day while you go shop at the mall. Parents should have some discretion in making risk assessments and decisions for their own children.

I personally have left my sleeping infant in the car while I got cash at the ATM, paid for my gas and picked up take-out. I have my own set of guidelines and I believe that she will be safe for the 5 min it takes me to run that errand. And like @catomd00: said- I shower while she (now almost 2) plays unsupervised and someone could break into my house while I do that. And I leave her sleeping in her crib while I check the mail and take the trash out with no monitor.

I think this is a step in the right direction. The standard for parenting has been moving toward pressure to watch your children more and more - up to 100% of the time. It does not ensure safety and it doesn't seem to be doing good things for society. What a relief to hear that in NJ you might not be prosecuted for leaving your kid alone for a few minutes safelty in a car.

I don't think running into an ATM at a gas station where you can see your car the whole time is endangering your kid's life or should be illegal....but I don't do it anymore b/c a local woman was reported for this and arrested. MYOB in my opinion.

I don't do it but think it is ridiculous how much trouble people can get in for a quick trip on a cool day.
But . . . I feel like this came up bc of that shopping cart mom in Arizona. I can sort of understand the shopping cart part but leaving 3 other kids in the car on a hot hot day, even if you plan on just 5 minutes, is a really, really bad idea.

Sure it's going to be fine most of the time but there's so many ways for it to go wrong and on that hot of a day it doesn't take long.

Also - I think there's a difference between leaving a toddler in the car and leaving a 5 year old who can unbuckle and get out if something were to happen.

I use the headline rule. If I do not want the headline to read , "Pediatrician leaves child in car" then I do not do it.

Maybe it's because I'm held to a higher standard. maybe it's because of all the bad crap I see. It's not that much of a hassle to haul my babies around!

Also this: http://www.salon.com/2014/06/03/the_day_i_left_my_son_in_the_car/

@AmandaB8: True, but on the flip side a toddler will stay buckled because they can't undo the clips, where a five year old my decide he doesnt want to be in the car anymore and leave the car to come get you and risk walking through a busy parking lot or going into the wrong store.

Sorry didnt mean to gang up me and Foodnerd posted at the same time

@Mrs. Jacks: Oh, gosh. Maybe I should use that rule more often. I feel like there are so many headline rules I'm breaking. "Area mother escapes burglary in pajamas with naked toddler."

@Mrs. Jacks: I mean, what I'm saying is maybe we should get dressed.... We had a cancelled playdate this morning so I skipped that item on the to do list.

@mrsrain: Good to know since we're in CT too! I've never left DS in the car by himself because my conscience always wins out. Not sure why I never looked up what the law says!

@Mrs. Jacks: The story in that article just pisses me off. So a "Good Samaritan" (who is really just a judgmental busy body) caused this woman and her family tons of stress, heart ache, and expense for absolutely no reason. This mother was made to feel like she made a mistake and was a poor parent for making a (very accurate) assessment of the safety of and risks to her child. This is the perfect example to me of everything that is wrong with the fear mongering and judgmental parenting of this generation.