Hi! I am a new mommy and live about a 4 hour drive away from my family. We moved to a cute little town and absolutely love it but still don't know that many people here... I am wondering if you guys have any tips on how to make living away from family easier or if any of you are in the same boat and what you do 
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I’ve lived far from family my entire adult life (including nearly 10 years overseas). We did have a stint where we lived with my ILs for about 9 months starting when my older LO was 14 months. But we’ve lived far away ever since. When my LOs were very young, I joined baby groups and met a lot of other moms with similar aged children. As my LOs got older, we also met some daycare, and then school families. We moved to a new country at the end of last summer and I’ve made a few friends through school. I also joined an expat group and have met a lot of people that way. In our previous country, it took awhile to make good friends, but I ended up with some really great friendships. Where we are now, I just have a few friends and a ton of acquaintances, but I know that building close friendships, especially as an adult, takes time, and you do have to put yourself out there a bit. So I would suggest looking for either mom groups like play groups or baby wearing, or try to reach out to other parents at daycare if your LO is in daycare. If you have special activities/sports you like, join a group or club.
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Same boat. We just visit a lot and are trying as our kids grow to get them involved in more things and put down roots so to speak. It helps. But it's not the same!
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The absolute biggest thing for me was joining a mommy baby class when my oldest was born. It started when she was 6 weeks old and some of my beat friends are from that group- she’s almost 5 now. I got lucky with that, but in general joining groups has been helpful. Especially when babies are little and can’t move around too much or get into trouble- it’s much harder to really get to know people as you are chasing toddlers around and having broken conversations because of it.
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We live across the country from both our families . I'm not a big phone talker but I try and text pics of the kids doing daily life stuff
Also we have to budget for visits. A plane ticket for us 4 is a much bigger expense (esp around holidays) than it would be driving, for example. -
@justjules: we also spend a ton on family visits (both money and vacation time from work). I resent it sometimes but ... I don’t really want to live close and deal with those issues either!!
In addition to great advice above I think it’s important to figure out your “help” village over time. Whether it’s paid sitters, daycare/preschool/parents day out, babysitting swaps with friends or a co-op - find ways to have help when you need it for specific things or just your sanity. I didn’t really feel this need as much when I had a baby but needed it more as they got older.
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Same boat. Of course I grew up just two towns over, but my parents have since retired up in Vermont near my brother and his family, which is a good 4 hour drive (that’s not always fun in the winter!) Since we had our first baby, they do visit a lot more often for long weekends and we pack in fun and babysitting when they do.
It took some time but I have found my little tribe here... we have a newcomers group, a mommy workout group, and of course all the activities that exist where you can start to find people you’d be into spending more time with. And my friends from the city are still dear to my heart and we find ways to see each other and be in touch.
I love that this is “our” town and we have our own local traditions that we can start as a little family, like annual parades and holiday celebrations, where we are starting to see more and more friendly faces. It’s really starting to feel like home and so will your town for you!
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Our families live an 8 hour drive (Dhs side) and a 3 hour flight/multi day drive (my side) away from where we currently live.
You have to build your community where you are. Get out there, meet people, be outgoing, invite people over, and hire people. That's what it comes down to. I was already good at that because I moved 6 hours away when I was 18 and never moved "home" again. I lived in several places in my 20s, and in every single place, I built my little tight circle of friends that also functioned like my family.
4 hours is not so bad, though. They can still come for long weekends, or you can go there. It will probably be a nice balance after you get used to it.
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@YogiRunner: thank you for the encouraging words!!
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Thanks for all the comments everyone -- so many positive people on here I am really glad I reached out and asked for advice - everyone had so many good points
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My husband's family lives in Japan (he's a Japanese citizen) so they do a lot of video Skype. They also have chat groups for their family because he has a large family, and it helps him stay in touch. They talk on a daily basis through these instant messaging groups.
My parents live on the other side of the country, so I don't get to see them much, but I call my mom almost everyday asking for advice. My dad is a United Airlines pilot, so we actually see quite a bit of him. We have other family and friends that we spend time with so we don't get too lonely.
I work 4 days a week, and suffer from chronic pain, and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, so I'm often too tired to do anything in a group setting
My daughter is in daycare, so she gets enough group interaction there. I've taken her to a few mommy groups, and she just freezes up and becomes almost unresponsive. It's kind of sad because I used to dread large group activities as a kid, and I was hoping I didn't pass on this social anxiety to her, but it is what it is. She loves playing with one or two other kids, but a whole group of new kids scare her 
My daughter is in daycare, so she gets enough group interaction there. I've taken her to a few mommy groups, and she just freezes up and becomes almost unresponsive. It's kind of sad because I used to dread large group activities as a kid, and I was hoping I didn't pass on this social anxiety to her, but it is what it is. She loves playing with one or two other kids, but a whole group of new kids scare her 
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