My parents live in CT, DH's parents live in WI, and we live in AZ. We are seeing his family next week and "announcing" our pregnancy to them. I know they'll immediately want to discuss when and how long they'll be coming out for. I'm unsure of how to handle this conversation, and wondering how you approached it with your long-distance family members, if you would do it differently, etc.

Background:
My family is excited but laid back about the grandbaby. In decisions like this (travel, family vacations), we have conversations discussing our different thoughts and we work out a middle ground if need be. It looks like maybe my mom will be coming out a week before the due date and staying until 2 weeks after. My dad has some work commitments and might be coming when my mom leaves. This is my preference so that I don't feel overwhelmed by too many people visiting and I can stretch out my "help" for longer. My mom thinks this is a silly idea and wants my dad to come with her but I think I can persuade her.

My in-laws, however, are very different. They are grandbaby-obsessed and my MIL can be overwhelming. She is SUCH a loving person, but doesn't really have a filter and doesn't know when to chill out. They will probably want to come early and stay late, if you know what I mean. That kind of makes me anxious. I don't really want them there until about a week after the birth, at the earliest, but.... with them there's not as much mental room for negotiation. For example, they've already told us they'll be moving out here whenever we have a baby. And while we will totally need the help, the fact that they have never even asked our feelings on the topic is weird to me (plus, they're leaving 2 children & grandchildren in WI...)

Also, I only want my mom and DH at the hospital, no one else.