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@Nutella: I am in a similar position, we moved near to my parents a few months ago!

I have been surprised by how many triggers from childhood I still have embedded in my psyche! I have been trying to remove as many of them as I can, so that I'm dealing with things as an adult rather than reverting to childhood patterns...

We moved in with my parents last summer while we waited to close on our house. We were only there for about 6 weeks and it was actually great. We had our own space yet also did things all together as well. No one seemed to get on each other's nerves but we also had an end date in sight, which probably helped. My husband still talks about how much he enjoyed staying with them. Good luck!

I think the most important thing - but also the hardest to control - is that everyone is as respectful as possible and on the same page with the big picture plan.

The second most important part I would say is to have as much of your own space and autonomy as possible. My parents gave us the entire upstairs so we had a small living room space, a mini fridge, two bathrooms, LO had her own room - it was like an apartment. We even used a separate door a lot of the time.

It's not easy and I think it is often harder on the spouse that is the in-law. I know DH appreciated my parents so much but by the end of the agreed upon year, he was ready to leave, whereas I could have stayed forever

Both sets of our parents have the tendency to go back into parenting mode whenever their kids are around. Different times have been more stressful than others for us. Last year I was going a bit crazy and we weren't even living with them. But we had a busy schedule and DH was working 24/7 and then everything would get turned on its head when parents would visit and try to take over. It'd take days to get the kids back on schedule and reorganize so I knew where things were again.

For both sides I found explaining our rationale to the dads was more effective. It sucks to have to give a rationale for everything you do though. if there are things you can be flexible on id try to be to an extent. And try to listen to their opinions without taking offense even if you aren't going to do it their way.

We just moved in with my inlaws after six years of living abroad. We moved in with our two kids who weren't even born last time we lived in this country, so it had been a big adjustment for everyone.

The game changer for us was turning one of the bedrooms upstairs into a TV room, it has given us somewhere to go without us being in everyone's way. Mil is so lovely and welcoming, but it is hard for her still, and FIL is acting very grumpy right now, which makes for a tense atmosphere.
I think trying to be out of the house a bit every day, so everyone gets their own space, is key.
We have had issues with parenting too, if I say something and my inlaws say "no they are okay", it drives me mad. Or, they come down on her about eating dinner, and I say that she is fine. No one likes contradicting each other but it is important that they realise that we are the parents. And I think as time goes by, that is happening without us having to have an awkward conversation.

Another hard thing is DH has a huge family and his siblings and kids drop by all the time without telling us, which is hard when you just want some quiet time and ten rowdy kids burst in. Also, BIL brought his puking daughter over while he went to work the other day, which was scary for me with two young kids. My baby did start puking up a few days later, which proved our point I think. So we had a chat with MIL about it, saying that obviously it was her house and she could have whoever she wanted there, but if one of the grandkids was sick and coming over, could she tell us so I could take the kids out to my mums and away from the germs.

Honestly, I think it is a case of picking battles. There are things that just aren't worth bringing up, but others, like safety (can we please attach furniture to the wall because my kid just pulled a chest of drawers on herself, for example) are things we are willing to risk upset over.
I am trying to learn their way of doing things too, such as the way they do laundry.

I'm not sure how helpful all that is to you, we are very much trying to figure it all out still. But good luck, I know it is hard!

I will say that when my baby was sick this week, my MIL was holding him while I called the emergency doctor. He puked over her and her tablecloth and she took it in her stride, then she stayed up until we got back watching our other child, who was also ill. It made me realise she loves our kids very much, and to not be too harsh on her when she interferes. While DH and I might struggle with this time, our kids will probably cherish it.